Vent So ticked at my mom!!!

BabyKaykes

New member
I walked by her car last weekend and saw Isaiah's seat inside. Totally reclined, loose top tether and FF! So, of course, the straps are below his shoulders and it's installed wrong because it's still set up in RF mode. I go to turn it around and the belt is routed through the RF belt path. I told her it was all wrong and she says, "good thing we only made two stops then" GRRRR!!!

This weekene I go to install it and she says, turn it around, he's to big to sit that way. I told her no way. She said fine, I'll turn it myself then. I said no you won't or I'll just take the seat and he won't ride with you. She said fine.

But how can I trust her? I will NOT turn him yet.
 
ADS

snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
Honestly, I'm not sure that you can trust her. When it comes down to a battle of wills like that, grandmas sometimes think they know better than you.

I'd just ask her straight out - are you going to keep him rf'ing in your vehicle and leave the seat the same way I install it? Do you promise? Do you understand what is at risk and why this isn't a choice but a requirement? (maybe show her one of the youtube videos?)

Open a dialog beyond the one you had today and see what her thoughts are. Get a feel for if she'll mumble under her breath every time she puts your ds in the car, but still do it properly and keep him rf'ing - or if she'll nod her head and agree and then do her own thing.

Ultimately, you have to decide whether or not you can trust her. You've had many years of experience in dealing with your mom and drawing on some past experiences might help in knowing if she'll respect your decision or not. You don't have to let her transport him, so if you don't trust her on this, then just don't allow her to transport him.

Right now it sounds like she just thinks "whatever, it's good enough" and doesn't understand the importance. Maybe dialog and an explanation - not overwhelming her or providing every link you possibly can, just a simple & straight forward explanation - like say the article that was published in the journal of injury prevention that gave statistics about how much safer rf'ing is for kids under age 2 in comparison to ff'ing for her to review on her own, and then watching the youtube video. Maybe the combination of the emotional and the research/factual/peer reviewed/data based report will help her understand and make her compliant with how your ds is to be transported. (There is a youtube video, not the importance of rf'ing, but one that is done by a sibling to the parent of his niece. It's done in love, and why he's concerned for his niece. Perhaps this tact might work better with your mom? I don't have it bookmarked, but maybe someone else does.)

Best of luck with the situation and the discussion. I hope that she is able to understand where you're coming from. Otherwise she'll just have to accept not driving him anywhere...

eta: I just looked at your siggy and see that your ds is 34mos old. How often does he ride with your mom? Depending on the degree of conflict & your own comfort zone, I'd consider a compromise with your mom - tell her that once he's 3 you'll allow him to ff in her vehicle. At 3yrs old and being over 30lbs, he's not unsafe ff'ing. Rf'ing is always safer, but it's not unsafe for him to ff. I'm not 100% certain that at his age and size an all or nothing position will serve everyone best... Obviously only you can evaluate that, but I'm just putting it out there. I'm not saying your mom is right by any means, I'm just saying that it might not be unreasonable to allow him to ff in her vehicle for periodic rides.
 

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Forum statistics

Threads
219,656
Messages
2,196,897
Members
13,530
Latest member
onehitko860

You must read your carseat and vehicle owner’s manual and understand any relevant state laws. These are the rules you must follow to restrain your children safely. All opinions at Car-Seat.Org are those of the individual author for informational purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect any policy or position of Carseat Media LLC. Car-Seat.Org makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis. If you are unsure about information provided to you, please visit a local certified technician. Before posting or using our website you must read and agree to our TERMS.

Graco is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Britax is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Nuna Baby is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!

Please  Support Car-Seat.Org  with your purchases of infant, convertible, combination and boosters seats from our premier sponsors above.
Shop travel systems, strollers and baby gear from Britax, Chicco, Clek, Combi, Evenflo, First Years, Graco, Maxi-Cosi, Nuna, Safety 1st, Diono & more! ©2001-2022 Carseat Media LLC

Top