please stop me from turning DS FF

i admit i'm seriously thinking about it. i said i would leave him RF til he hits the limits but not sure i can take it any longer. afterall james is now 2yo & 31lbs so he is big enough & old enough to turn FF.

my mom is driving me batty with "he wants to FF" cause everytime he gets in the car he climbs into everyone elses seat.

james keeps sitting crooked (i guess) & the harness is constantly uneven. too tight one side & too loose on the other. so that's nto safe

he fights me with just a bout every into his seat. so its a PITA

i bonk his head on the door frame getting him in. (oh yes i treid installin the intera baseless to gain room- that was a no go)

the kids have to climb UNDER his seat to get to theirs. & they are complaining so much about it.



but with all this annoying frustrating things .....i KNOW its best to leave him RF. you know i know all the facts & such but i can't help but feel that maybe FF is better. & of course i'll sound like a hypocrite. do as i say not as i do. blech.

trying to have a smaller goal than the 33/35lb limit might help right? so end of summer turn him FF. when is the end of summer? when kids go back to school sept 15? (yes they start late this year). but what if he is hasn't gained any weight then? RF still or FF? UGH UGH UGH....see i drive myslef crazy with this

Why not make your goal to RF until 9/15 and then reassess, rather than necessarily turning him FF at that date?

what seat is he in? The uneven harness might be about more than how he is sitting. Seats with one continuous strap for the harness are often uneven, no matter how the child sits.

the intera, not a continuous strap. i've already taken it apart. measured up the harnesses & the harness slots to be sure they are even & seems to be. put back together, installed again seemed even & then UGH i couldn't get him in their right today either. i kwpt trying to adjust his body & all & nothing worked & he was flippin out too. i was VERY unhappy & i had to get to the dr appt regardless.

When DS was 2 yo he hated getting into the car seat. It was RF, but FF wouldn't have mattered, it was being strapped in that he didn't like. I ended up teaching him how to climb in himself and using bribery to get him in the seat. I would do what others suggest and reassess after the summer.

ginny4 said:

my mom is driving me batty with "he wants to FF" cause everytime he gets in the car he climbs into everyone elses seat.

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They do this whether they are RF or FF. It's usually because they don't want to get into their seat, not because their seat is RF.

james keeps sitting crooked (i guess) & the harness is constantly uneven. too tight one side & too loose on the other. so that's nto safe

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Why would FF solve this?

he fights me with just a bout every into his seat. so its a PITA

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Yup, 2 year olds do that. My first DD fought me getting into the seat from about 18mths - 3 years old, and she was FF! (back then seats only RF to 22 pounds so I had no choice). So, FF doesn't stop the fighting. The change might stop it for a short period, but once they get used to it, it starts all over again.

i bonk his head on the door frame getting him in. (oh yes i treid installin the intera baseless to gain room- that was a no go)

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If you lift them into their seat, head bonk can happen FF too (trust me I've done it!). Doesn't happen if they climb in themselves, but I always find that if I let them get in themselves at that age, they crawl all over the vehicle and do everything BUT get into their seat.

the kids have to climb UNDER his seat to get to theirs. & they are complaining so much about it.

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Can the kids get in the other door? If not, can you put his seat on the other side of the vehicle so they don't have to go under it? If you let people know your set up, we might be able to come up with a solution for you.


So, honestly, I don't see any of the problems solved by FF (except for the crawling under the seat which *might* be able to be fixed other ways). And think that when FF, they can now kick the seat in front of them and some kids will get sore legs (they fall asleep) from not having support under their feet.

My little one is almost 2 and I just can't imagine turning her FF yet. They are still so little at 2 (no matter what they weigh)!

i don't know whether FF will solve anything. your right & i should know that they fight ya FF too. i have other children that do that too. DUH

sometimes the kids go thru the front seat ratehr then crawl under the RF but they do complain about that too. & besides i usually have something on the seat or the floor that they will crush. I know i know i should have th car cleaned to protect us from projectiles.

so the set up that seems to be the only thing that works for me is....
DS#1 & DS #2 in HBBs in the 3rd row (no latch, no top tethers in that row--already trie dto get them in & it was a no go only available for 2nd row which i have. & no headrests

2nd row
DD drivers side; capt chair; in regent with top tether

DS#3 RF in intera; capt chair; passenger side -- i like him on the side of door for convienance of getting him in or out. i tried leaning ove rthe top of the front seat to buckle him & OH MY it was a PITA

only one slider door on passenger side

these annoyances i can likely deal with just right now i'm frustrated about it. i don't wanna make it so diffcult for me & my kids to get in the car that i dread stepping foot out there. KWIM?

just tell me its OK & that i can deal with it for alil longer & to take small steps in keepinghim RF & before i know it he'll be too big & i'll be sad when he has to turn FF. LOL you gotta fin dit funny i'm giving myself some positive reinforcement. LOL

My youngest was about 30 lbs at 2yrs. He didn't reach 32 lbs (naked) until he was a month away from his 3rd birthday (and then he was close enough to the limit that I felt it was best to turn him since it was the start of winter--and heavier, bulky clothing). I was getting all sorts of grief from everyone because no one around here RF past the first birthday. I was hitting his head on the door frame, wrestling him into the seat, pulling him out of the other kids seats to put him in his own, dealing with our other kids crawling under his seat, etc. It's hard to feel like RF is still worthwhile when you don't have any support in real life!

Once I turned him FF, he actually cried through his whole first car ride (after that he was excited though!). I still accientally hit his head sometimes when I'm in a hurry (happened yesterday, in fact), and he's still running around the van to sit in the other kids seats (because he knows it makes them mad!). And now the kids don't have to crawl underneath his seat anymore, but he did learn to kick his legs straight out to try to block them from getting to their seats, so I wouldn't really say that aspect is better .

And I agree that the uneven straps due to child placement issues may or may not be easier once FF. I've experienced it both ways, but probably a little less FF.

I think you are completely right about setting smaller goals for yourself--That's what I did, and it really helped me to feel less antsy about it. It's easier to wait a long time if its just a little bit at a time. I also watched the crash test videos again whenever I was feeling the urge to turn him earlier, and that seemed to help remind me of why I was doing it. Good luck!

Oh, and even though I'd been kind of eager to finally turn him FF, when the day came I was still REALLY sad. It was definitely the end of the "baby" phase, and I'll probably never have another child RF again

Mom to a few, I think your post just proved that FF isn't going to solve any of the issues she's having!

ginny4 said:

2nd row
DD drivers side; capt chair; in regent with top tether

DS#3 RF in intera; capt chair; passenger side -- i like him on the side of door for convienance of getting him in or out. i tried leaning ove rthe top of the front seat to buckle him & OH MY it was a PITA

only one slider door on passenger side

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Honestly, I'd swap it so your DS is RF behind the driver's seat and your DD is FF behind the passenger side. My DD is on the driver's side RF and I always climb in through the passenger side and sit on the seat and buckle her in (we don't have a van so there is no gap between driver's side and passenger side in 2nd row). I would think you could step in with him, put him in his seat and stand between the 2 captain's chairs to buckle him in.

these annoyances i can likely deal with just right now i'm frustrated about it. i don't wanna make it so diffcult for me & my kids to get in the car that i dread stepping foot out there. KWIM?

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It seems the only one really frustrating you is that the kids have to climb under his seat to get to theirs? Because we've already stated that your other issues aren't going to be solved by FF. So, swap his seat and try it for a month. See how it works and if you get used to putting him in on that side. You might want to also clean the things off the floor that you said were in your way. That will make a huge difference.

just tell me its OK & that i can deal with it for alil longer & to take small steps in keepinghim RF & before i know it he'll be too big & i'll be sad when he has to turn FF. LOL you gotta fin dit funny i'm giving myself some positive reinforcement. LOL

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You CAN deal with it longer if you WANT to.

All the posts gave good advice. I'll just add my experience. DD2 was turned back RF (thanks to this board) at about 20 months and stayed that way until she outgrew the RF limit a couple months before her 3rd birthday. She was difficult off an on from about 2-3. Her problems were always sitting down in the seat to get buckled and climbing into her baby sister's seat. We had the same issues when she FF. She just learned new ways to twist her body (like arching her back and sliding out of the seat into the floor).

We worked on behavior modification. If we were taking a ride to someplace just for A & she acted up I'd just tell her she used all the play time up fussing in the car and now we can't go. Not always feasible, but it really hits home when it is. Bribery worked wonders for us. It amazed me how 1 pink tick-tack could get her into her seat. She'd get 1 if she got in and buckled nicely and had nice hands during the trip (she was also hitting her sister on occasion).

I think you've done a whole lot better than most parents do. I just don't think that FF will miraculously solve your problems. :twocents: