Woohoooo!

Victorious4

Senior Community Member

• Mar 16, 2006

• #1

My SD hasn't visited in soooooo long & I've never gotten to hold the new preemie baby yet, either ... starting tonight I'm babysitting them both every Thursday for 4 hours I'm super excited -- I really missed my SD & can't wait to get my arms around baby Elfy!!! (It's probably a good thing I stopped lactating, LOL)

 

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LuvBug

New member

• Mar 16, 2006

• #2

aw! Lucky you! I have horrible babyitis and want to play with an infant SO bad

 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #3

Hehehehe -- yep, I'm sure I was downright silly in my giddiness & I have a picture to share, too, but I'm posting it in the carseat area....

 

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LuvBug

New member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #4

I just got an email from my cousin who has a 5mo and she wants to know if I can watch her on saturday mornings. Im suppose to say no because we arent suppose to be enabling her, but I can't help but want to selfishly fill my desire to hold a baby!

 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #5

Aw ... but, why aren't you supposed to "enable" her?

 

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LuvBug

New member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #6

because she is doing bad things lol! She is in a situation she does NOT need to be in and and does NOT need to involve her child in. She is aware of this and knows how we feel about it and we have discussed the issue with her and she understand, but chooses to stay in it. So, Im suppose to help her but not enable her lol! I want to help her with everything and it is very hard to hold back, and hard to determine what is helping and what is enabling. I won't turn my back on her DD, its not her fault she is in the situation, she is just a baby. So I will do whatever baby needs, but not necessarily what cousin needs unless what cousin needs is what baby needs, kwim? lol!

 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #7

Yeooooooah'K, gotcha Maybe the alternative is that baby joins her on whatever she's doing Unless she's going to pay for a childcare provider, I think I'd almost rather "enable" (at most short term & in conjuction with "getting on her good side" to influence more positively) than let her expose baby to certain things.... Hopefully there's a middle ground -- some way to help keep baby out of mom's stuff & help mom find better choices GOOD LUCK

 

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LuvBug

New member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #8

lol! Shes not doing anything illegal. She will just be working on sat. which is fine. This is not the issue we have a problem with and dont mind helping her. I actually offered to watch her if she got a job and now she is finally taking me up on it.
Its really a long story, but like I said we dont mind helping baby and dont mind helping mom as long as it is inturn helping her and not enabling her(aka getting her on her feet, ect). We are really close and talk all the time, all of us. We are getting through to her a little at a time. The first thursday in march she packed a bag and left her house with baby and we thought maybe this would be her breakthrough, but it wasnt. It WAS a step in the right direction though!!

 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #9

*WHEW* I had flashbacks of Leila's dad taking Leila horrible places (Which is why I now I have Sole Custody & he only has Permanent Supervised Visitation ... which he doens't even attempt anymore *SIGH*) Anyway, glad to hear things are OK & I hope you get your baby fix soon

 

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LuvBug

New member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #10

yeah, you 2 may have similar stories so you may understand where we are coming from. We are hoping that she will 'see the light' and leave the situation and realize she is MUCH better out of it and it is MUCH better for her DD. Shes a pretty good mom though, so I know that her heart is there and she is trying. She at least tried to leave, which is a good step. We are there for her always but cant enable her to stay in the situation, kwim? Its long and confusing, but that is how life can be. She at least has us when she needs us, and always will.

Hopefully DS will react well to her being around for a few hours a week and I can get my baby fix, she can keep her job, and maybe we can get through to her a little more. I would MUCH rather watch the baby even in a bad situation than some stranger that doesn't know what they are doing or doesnt care.

 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #11

(((((Courage & Tenacity))))) wishes sent for her!

Leila was 1 when I finally ended it & immediately got Sole Custody (he didn't even bother to contest), but she was 3 when the judge finally agreed to suspend visits Luckilly, by then her dad was also unemployed & also involved in an assault & battery case (bar brawl) at the same time as the Visitation hearing -- so not a good impression for the judge (who was trying both cases, LOL) ... anyway, yay for us we'r edone with that mess & in a MUCH healthier, happier situation

I hope at least as much for your cousin

 

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LuvBug

New member

• Mar 17, 2006

• #12

Thanks, I hope so as well.

Im glad things turned for the better for you.