Editorial Parody

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
http://www.insidebayarea.com/bayarealiving/ci_3528284
  • HEY BRITNEY: HERE'S HOW YOU GET TO THE SEAT OF THE PROBLEM
    • By Kari Hulac, STAFF WRITER
      Inside Bay Area]
  • OK, EVERYONE now knows (thank you, Britney Spears) that driving with a baby on your lap is bad. It's irresponsible. It's stupid.

    And using car seats? Well, duh. Why anyone would want to - for even a second - drive while holding a squirmy, spit-up prone, potentially pooping little thing is so far out there I can't stand it.

    However, in the real world, most people do use car seats - and that's where things get almost as scary as pulling a Britney.

    What's really scary is this: The vast majority - more than 80 percent - of car seats are incorrectly installed.

    While using one at all is probably better than nothing (Britney, did you know Feb. 13-18 was National Car Seat Safety Week?), car seat manufacturers, police and other safety experts are constantly reminding parents that installing and/or using a seat incorrectly could be deadly.

    Just a little food for thought to add to everyone's parental guilt.

    I first encountered the beast that they call an infant car seat on a boiling hot fall day. While this duty is usually relegated to the baby's father (along with assembling the Diaper Genie - but that's another horror story), pregnant women do some strange things right before giving birth, and installing a car seat by myself in record heat didn't seem odd at all.

    Sweat pouring from my brow, I wrestled with that French Bear-patterned SOB in the suddenly way-to-small back seat of our four-door sedan for at least an hour. It was not a pretty sight.

    A popular baby product Web site states consumers should: "always read child safety seat instructions and the vehicle's owner's manual for proper use and installation information, while also checking the car seat manufacturer's instruction manual for specific item features and restrictions."

    These manuals consist of pages of tiny print and red screaming warnings that consumers should "do this if you have this type of car or do that if you have that type of car or seat belt or whatever" - often with a few extra warnings thrown in.

    And then after you read all that, it says if you have THAT type of car, you should just return the seat you bought and get another one.

    That 80 percent incorrect installation rate is starting to make a lot more sense.

    The Web site goes on to list almost 50 tips for how to properly install a seat as well as a list of common mistakes: The seat shouldn't move more than an inch either way. It must face the right direction (backward for infants, forward for 1-year-olds weighing at least 20 pounds). Belts must be locked with a clip (sold separately of course) or the new LATCH system. Seat must be at correct angle (45 degrees). Harness must be at right position on child. Must be tight enough. Do not pass go.

    Are you getting anxious yet? So sorry.

    To help the situation, your local police department has to spend your tax dollars periodically offering car seat installation safety checks. We parents are grateful, but we'd rather not have to buy something, drive ourselves crazy installing it and then go somewhere to be told we did it wrong.

    Any child-safety product that requires an adult to climb into the back seat of a car and kneel on top of it while trying to wedge a towel underneath (to achieve that 45-degree angle) has somethingwrong with it.

    I know, I know. Back in the day, kids just tumbled around the back seats of cars like grapes in a bowl or they were piled into the beds of pickup trucks like sacks of feed. But we also used to put kids to work in factories.

    Is there any product out there where an 80 percent installation failure rate is the norm?

    Would the consumer world be OK with toilets with an 80 percent installation failure rate? A dishwasher? A cable TV system?

    Each year the car seat people come out with new car seats with fancier buckles, fresh stylish prints and colors, added cushioning, even cup holders.

    Here's a novel idea: How about coming up with a seat that's easier to install!

    I know the car seat makers will blame it on the cars. They're all different. There are old models and new ones. Weird seat belts. Blah, blah, blah.

    Just watch parents trying to buy a seat. They stand for an hour in a daze as they try to figure out the difference between the $89 SnugRide Infant car seat in Sunny Safari print and the $269 Britax Marathon Convertible Car Seat - Olivia style.

    Here's a quick tip: Cough up the $269. It may not really keep your kid safe, but you'll FEEL a heck of a lot better.

    Someone should invent a car that comes with a built-in car seat. The seat could be an option like a DVD player. It could be adjustable to grow with your little bundle of joy. In fact, since kids must be in a booster until they're at least age 6 or at least 60 pounds [4'9" is better!]), that built-in seat might even outlive your car.

    So after all the drama, I got the French Bear seat in pretty tight. When my daughter arrived (one week late, I might add), I was happy the seat was ready to go.

    As we left the hospital, carrying her to the car like an eight-pound eggshell, a nurse followed along to make sure we had a proper seat. As if we'd try to take her home on our laps! (Oops, sorry Britney.)

    Sure enough, we struggled with the straps so she offered a helpful hand: She
    unhooked the thing completely.
 
ADS

Lea_Ontario

Well-known member
*groan*

At least new mommy gets to stand back and watch the proud papa try to install the darn seat after all is said and done.
 

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Forum statistics

Threads
219,655
Messages
2,196,895
Members
13,530
Latest member
onehitko860

You must read your carseat and vehicle owner’s manual and understand any relevant state laws. These are the rules you must follow to restrain your children safely. All opinions at Car-Seat.Org are those of the individual author for informational purposes only, and do not necessarily reflect any policy or position of Carseat Media LLC. Car-Seat.Org makes no representations as to accuracy, completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information on this site and will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses, injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an as-is basis. If you are unsure about information provided to you, please visit a local certified technician. Before posting or using our website you must read and agree to our TERMS.

Graco is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Britax is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org! Nuna Baby is a Proud Sponsor of Car-Seat.Org!

Please  Support Car-Seat.Org  with your purchases of infant, convertible, combination and boosters seats from our premier sponsors above.
Shop travel systems, strollers and baby gear from Britax, Chicco, Clek, Combi, Evenflo, First Years, Graco, Maxi-Cosi, Nuna, Safety 1st, Diono & more! ©2001-2022 Carseat Media LLC

Top