I ticked off my SIL b/c I refused....

TN Mary

New member
... to let my 4 yr old DD ride with her.

My SIL and BIL wanted to invite all the cousins over for a sleepover.
They live 45 mins away (interstate and winding country roads combined)... and in their Sienna, they could only fit FIVE kids (w/2 adults up front). She insisted on letting her 10 yr old DS ride up front to make room for my 4 yr old DD in the back. (BTW, what is the rule for children sitting in front seats with airbags?? I don't think I'm going to let my kids do it till their in driver's ed! But is there a test similar to the 5 step test for seatbelts? My nephew is maybe around 4'8 and 90 lbs and is 10 yrs old and gets to sit up front all the time now.)

I asked her where SHE (my SIL) was going to sit... and she said, 'Don't worry about me. I'll just sit on the floor.'

I told her that wasn't safe for her and in the event of an accident, she'll go flying across the van and probably into one of the children.

She said I was being "anal" (her words).... but oh well. :cool:

Please tell me I wasn't over-reacting.... but just as I don't want a grocery bag of soup and milk sitting next to my kids, I especially don't want an unebelted 150 lb person next to them
too!

Fortunately my DD had a change of heart about going with them anyway, so it was nice to not have to worry about it all...
 
ADS

bethng

Active member
Geeze...an unrestrained person can KILL a properly restrained person in the event of a crash. No way my kid would be riding with an unrestrained occupant. Especially an adult! :eek:
 

TN Mary

New member
Yup. My SIL has opinions about LOTS of things. This is just one of many.
I've learned the art of 'discernment' with her. ;)

Anyway, what about her DS's? Should her 10 yr old be riding up front? And her 95 lb 8 yr old (yes, 95 lbs) rides in nothing too.

And another cousin is 4 yrs old and rides in a backless booster. I saw her in it and the seatbelt CLEARLY goes across her neck (same for my 8 yr old nephew).
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
Yup. My SIL has opinions about LOTS of things. This is just one of many.
I've learned the art of 'discernment' with her. ;)

Anyway, what about her DS's? Should her 10 yr old be riding up front? And her 95 lb 8 yr old (yes, 95 lbs) rides in nothing too.

And another cousin is 4 yrs old and rides in a backless booster. I saw her in it and the seatbelt CLEARLY goes across her neck (same for my 8 yr old nephew).

No, I wouldn't want a 10-year-old up front. But of all the offenses you've described, IMO, that's the least of them.
 

TN Mary

New member
I've tried giving her little bit of info here and there.
She refuses to listen. Well, I take that back - she 'listens' but does nothing about it. She thinks we're overprotective and that's just that. Thanks for the link though. Good vid.

She walked past our Husky and made the comment, "Wow, that's a BIG car seat."

We've had that car seat since 2003! She's seen it dozens of times.... but after the little incident the other day, she acted as though she was seeing it for the first time.

I am SO tired of the mentality of: "When I was a kid, all I rode in was a laundry basket and I TURNED OUT OK."

And to this I always tell people, "If you were in a WRECK in that laundry basket, we wouldn't be having this conversation today."

My motto is: "When you know better - you do better." Things have changed. We know so much more now.... why on earth are people choosing to be ignorant?
 

tanyaandallie

Senior Community Member
You absolutely did the right thing. I would never transport more kids than I have seats for and would not let my kids go in a car with more passengers than seats/seatbelts.

I talked to my niece just the other day about this. She mentioned that she had gone somewhere with her neighbors so I grilled her about where she sat etc. OF course she tells me that she shared a seatbelt with another kid:eek:!!!! I mentioned to my sister that she shared a seatbelt and she promised to make sure it doesn't happen again!
 

Wineaux

New member
You don't mention how old the Sienna is, and whether it has automatic airbag cutoff's built in. While not ideal, if the seat were pushed back all the way, and the vehicle was equipped with those new automatic sensors, then it should turn off the airbag because he weighs less than 100 lbs. This would be a better seating position, due to the seat having a lap/shoulder belt, as opposed to a rear seat with only a lap belt. That said, having the 10 year old in a BPB while in that front seat would probably be better due to the fit of the L/S belt. Now Mom just sitting on the floor? No way. They've maxed out the occupancy of the vehicle.
 

TN Mary

New member
It's either an 03 or 04. It has the latest body style. Didn't think about the sensors. Not sure if her van has them. I know our 2007 Ody does.
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
You don't mention how old the Sienna is, and whether it has automatic airbag cutoff's built in. While not ideal, if the seat were pushed back all the way, and the vehicle was equipped with those new automatic sensors, then it should turn off the airbag because he weighs less than 100 lbs
From my experience, the sensors are NOT reliable. Our last vehicle, the sensor turned the air bag off for me on most times (it was finicky with me, sometimes on and sometimes off) and I weigh over 100 pounds. We did a test drive with my DD on a road with no other vehicles, and she weighed 70 pounds at the time and the sensor kept the airbag ON for her the entire ride. How you sit and your body shape changes the amount of force on the sensors and can change they determine whether or not to shut off. And our sensor wasn't faulty, this behaviour is well known, and we compared to several of the same vehicle on the lot and they all did the same with me sitting in the passenger seat.

Oh, and our new vehicles says the sensor keeps the air bag off at about 65 pounds and below. The # seems low to me, and I suspect that they put that in there just so they don't have kids in situations like me (where my position and shape are enough to confuse the sensor!).
 
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BookMama

Senior Community Member
I would not let my child ride in a vehicle with an unrestrained passenger, nor would I do it myself. In a crash, an unrestrained passenger becomes a dangerous projectile - in the case of your sister, a 150lb projectile.

You made the right choice.
 
You so made the right choice.

My BIL & his wife (mainly his wife) think I'm mega crazy about car seat safety. My reply when I get the comment "we didn't have that & we're fine" is, "I'm sorry I want my kids to live should we get into an accident".

They stopped using a booster seat for my niece right when she turned 5, I was so disappointed. You have no idea how tempted I am to buy her one for her 6th b-day in June.
 

abacus2

Well-known member
A 10 yr old in the front seat certainly isn't ideal, but more people than seatbelts is definitely a deal-breaker.
 

Wineaux

New member
From my experience, the sensors are NOT reliable. Our last vehicle, the sensor turned the air bag off for me on most times (it was finicky with me, sometimes on and sometimes off) and I weigh over 100 pounds. We did a test drive with my DD on a road with no other vehicles, and she weighed 70 pounds at the time and the sensor kept the airbag ON for her the entire ride. How you sit and your body shape changes the amount of force on the sensors and can change they determine whether or not to shut off. And our sensor wasn't faulty, this behaviour is well known, and we compared to several of the same vehicle on the lot and they all did the same with me sitting in the passenger seat.

Oh, and our new vehicles says the sensor keeps the air bag off at about 65 pounds and below. The # seems low to me, and I suspect that they put that in there just so they don't have kids in situations like me (where my position and shape are enough to confuse the sensor!).
The sensors are also affected by how far forward or back the seat is, as well as your weight. They are they will still turn off for some lighter weight adults. And of course, they could also just be finicky new technology! LOL
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
The sensors are also affected by how far forward or back the seat is, as well as your weight.
Yup, I have noticed this as well and lumped it in with "how I sit", which was meant to include seat position, but I really wasn't very clear on that! :) The only way I could get the air bag to stay on for me is if I put the seat back STRAIGHT upright so that it was so straight you felt like you were leaning forward. There is no way I could sit like that for any length of time! The vehicle manufacture suggested I only sit in the passenger seat with a sack of potatoes....and they were serious.
 

TechnoGranola

Forum Ambassador
We're now expecting picures of you and said sack of potatoes. You realize this now, correct?
;)
Well you see I opted not to go with the potatoes and instead take the advice from a friend on another board....which was to just drink more beer to make myself heavier.... :whistle: Potatoes would look so silly, an attractive beer belly is soooo much better! :rolleyes:

In all honesty, we sold the vehicle and bought one that had better software handling the sensors.
 

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