My sister

mish

New member
On Sunday, my niece turned 1. She weighs 18 pounds. I bought her a convertible car seat for her birthday, and have explained rear facing until I am blue in the face. Before I left the party, she asked if I would install it for her. I said "Sure!" I was really excited because she usually hates discussing anything car seat related and gets upset when I try to install seats for her. Anyway, guess which direction she wanted it installed? Forward Facing. I explained that she couldn't do that, even pointed out in the manual where it says crippling injuries or death could occur if you don't rear face until 1 year and 20 pounds. I explained again that this was a bare minimum. She said " I don't care, she is one and she is turning around." Well, I wouldn't install the seat for her. I don't know if I should have or not. I am really upset about this.

Well, I saw her the next day and she was bragging about how tight her boyfriend had installed the seat, but said my niece was kind of freaked out to be FF. So turn her around!! I guess I just have to let this go. She has made up her mind. I will continue to RF in my car and pray my sister doesn't get in an accident.:(
 
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SusanMae

Senior Community Member
You did the right thing. We teach not to go against the instructions. I would have done the same.

Susan
 

jclaire

New member
I think you absolutely did the right then!

I cannot understand how someone who has been given the knowledge can still make the decision to put their childs life in danger. :(
 

mish

New member
Thanks for telling me I did the right thing!

She actually said to me, "I know it is safer to RF, but FF will be easier." I just don't get it.
 

1Sept3Dec

Senior Community Member
Thanks for telling me I did the right thing!

She actually said to me, "I know it is safer to RF, but FF will be easier." I just don't get it.

I agree that you were totally in the right there. I just don't see how severely injured or dead children are any easier...:(
 

littleangelfire

Well-known member
Anytime someone says they know something is safer but want what's easier, I assume they don't realize how much safer it is. They think its just a smidgen of difference that they should use their parental judgement on. They don't realize what a massive difference it makes.

I can't hardly even think of an analogy where it applies :eek: except maybe to say that when my son rides his bike, I don't make him where the knee and elbow pads that came with his helmet. Yes its safer, but not so much so that to me its worth the hassle of getting them on. Now, the helmet is non negotiable. Its not just a little bit safer, its a big amount safer. Maybe that's the way she's thinking. She thinks its just a little safer so what's the big deal? She's wrong of course, but it you attempt it from that angle, and let her know its not just a little safer, it is quite literally a life and death difference at that age and size.
 

loufrando

New member
And that's not even true. :rolleyes:

I agree. DD is ff in DH's car and it is not easier (says the mom who gets her back kicked and her ear talked off the whole drive after spending five minutes wrestling a back-arching, falling to the ground 2 yr old into her ff seat in that car).
 

Mommy2Marcus

New member
Thanks for telling me I did the right thing!

She actually said to me, "I know it is safer to RF, but FF will be easier." I just don't get it.

GRRRR! This would have just made me irate! FF is NO easier than RF is. Also keep in mind I RF in two 2 door cars! I am sorry you're going through this. Maybe she will reconsider soon & put her back RF!

You absolutly did the right thing refusing to install it FF!
 
I had a similar situation with a friend who had the straps above her daughter's shoulders RF'ing. When I told her to check the manual because I believe they should be below her shoulders, she did, but that wasn't enough to get her to change them right then and there. She said that they had just moved the straps up because it was too hard to get her into the seat with them lower. I highly doubt she's moved the straps back down since then. It makes me sick to think of that wonderful little girl not secure in her seat, but I don't know what more I can do.
 

Ice Princess

New member
I thank my lucky stars that my sister is a car seat nut like me. :love::love:

Were do people get the idea that it is easier to ff then rf? Is it becuase their friends told them this or the just assume? I actually find rf easier. they dont seem to lose as much stuff on the ground as the do when ff so I dont hear as much whining.
 

thepeach80

Senior Community Member
I just explained to my friend AGAIN last night that the Scenera cannot ff till 22# so her 20# ffing 16 mos old is not good. I've gone through this twice and last night she acted like she had no idea. :rolleyes: I know she can read the stickers...
 

solmama

Active member
My sister and I have a similar problem. She sees carseats as a phase and terrible inconvenience. Last summer, I spent a lot of time untwisting the straps on her Evenflo Titan. I convinced her to buy a Radian for her then 2 yo, but she exchanged it for a Graco Cargo. Her now 6yo was in a booster by age 4, and at 6 she's bad at sitting properly(she's ridden in our van).

Since then, her son has turned 1 (and he nearly as big as my 2yo!), but I have to wait a month to see if she's turned him ff. I've sent her all the links and videos and talked to her about the safety of erf. We'll see. But if she has turned him ff, I'll take the "close my eyes and pray" approach. One can only do so much.
 

Wineaux

New member
I know in Louisiana, what she is doing is against the law. Here we are 1 year and 22 lbs! You won't leave a seat check that I do breaking the law. Breaking best practice if it's a parental decision... Yeah, but I'll do my best to talk you out of it, but breaking the law? Not a snowball's chance in hell!

So check your state laws. If she is breaking the law, a little anonymous call to the cops, or if you know a cop, a quick little visit to him/her to get them to pull her over and put some fear into her works wonders.
 

jlginsb

New member
My sister did the same thing. She turned her DD FF at just under 1 year and 21 lbs because her DD "liked it better" and "it was easier". After throwing all the data at her she said she would turn her RF on long trips but was keeping her FF.

Long trips! :eek: She is so much more likely to get in an accident close to home than on a road trip. Her DD is 18 mos now and maybe 24 lbs in a Britax BV, but still FF. And the longs trips thing was just to pacify me. She's never turned that seat once since installing it FF.

Some people just have a hard time being convinced.
 

cryswilkins

New member
My SIL is going to keep my DN in his SN until he can be FF at 1 year. NEWS FLASH he is already 18 lbs at 4 months, she doesn't care that he will over the limit. I tried to give her the data, but she thinks that I am being "ridiculous" maybe so, but at least Zoe is safe. I will never understand someone who BFs, CDs, and eats organic because its best but then doesn't restrain her kids properly.

You can only do what you can.
 

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