Do people think you are a car seat freak? Are we over the top?

jwren · Apr 30, 2008

Just curious how others deal with this sort of thing...Since I've learned what I now know I try and share it with family and friends and some are grateful to hear what you share, others just say thanks and some will just tell you they think you are nuts.. My sister thinks I am nuts. She thinks I am on a carseat frenzy.. who knows maybe I am...Especially today when I tried to tell her about the new info about rear facing to 35 lbs..(although her kids are all over 40 lbs, older and in boosters) she said to me if it were true her pediatrician would have told her.. I tried to explain not all doctors know all the latest, although they should.. She just thinks I am being overboard.. It makes me want to just keep quiet with what I learn, but I know I should try and help others learn what took me so long to find out, so what on earth do you do? I am beginning to feel like a carseat nerd, lol...

She said that I freaked her out also when I sent her links to kids that died in crashes (the KDM and Isabelle storys, not videos of actual crashes) and she said I am making her feel bad because she has her kids in a booster.. She thinks I am thinking she is a bad mom, but I don't think that at all, I just want her to know what I have learned so she can make her own descisions with her knowledge and to let her know there are other options out there, that our pediatricians don't always know about..What else can I do.. or should I do?

AutoShopMama · May 1, 2008

Well all you can do is share when you feel like it's ok, and don't push the issue, especially with family. And assure her you don't think she's a bad mom...man we just had an issue with that (regarding another issue) with DH's sister this week. Talk about family fued and counseling needed!!!

Everyone thinks I'm a nut. DH tells me I just shouldn't drive anywhere if I'm that worried about it. My friends call me the car seat N*zi. But sometimes it's like "Hey I need a new seat, N*zi, what do you recommend" so it's not always bad.

Oh and is N*zi offensive? Don't want to offend anyone. It seems like about a year ago there was a thread about people being offended by it ... if so let me know and I'll change it...

snowbird25ca · May 1, 2008

I've learned over time that there has to be limits on what I share and who I share it with. Sharing too much unsolicited info tends to make people just tune out and discard info, regardless of how accurate it is.

I think people see me as being anal about carseats and proper use, and as being a bit overboard with buying more seats instead of just being happy with what I have, but I don't think they see me as a freak.

I have taken care with my family to not be overboard - to provide info for the stage that the child is in. And to offer it once in the spirit of caring for kiddo, and promising not to mention it again once I've provided the information.

I think it's very hard to moderate the passion that we all feel, but that seems to be the most effective way to reach the most people. It's like the difference between encouraging parents of an 11mo old to keep their kid rf'ing to 2yrs old and re-evaluate at that time, vs. telling them to keep their kiddo rf'ing to the very last moment. I always provide full information of rf to the limits of the seat, but encourage parents to try and get to 2yrs, and then go from there, and I think most parents having rf'ed their kids to that point, are used to it and just keep them rf'ing. And if not, they've done better than most and they've gotten their kids out of the biggest danger period. I'm talking kind of abstractly, but I think giving parents a concrete goal that seems achievable, makes them more likely to go for it.

And I think EH'ing falls into the same category - educate on maturity, and aim for age 5 or 6. Most kids are mature enough and big enough by that age, that if the parent decides to move them to a booster, they won't be at a big risk as a result - moving a 40lb 6yr old to a booster isn't premature graduation.

Anyways, those are my thoughts.

AutoShopMama said:
Oh and is edit offensive? Don't want to offend anyone. It seems like about a year ago there was a thread about people being offended by it ... if so let me know and I'll change it...

There are a lot of negative connotations associated with that word, so the general concensus is that it's best to avoid using it. :thumbsup:

carseatcoach · May 1, 2008

I care about carseat safety. I care so much that I took the class on my own time, with my own money, and volunteer at carseat checks. I'm sure some people think I'm a carseat freak. I'm sure some people think I'm over the top, but I really hope most don't -- being over the top is NOT a good way to get education out there. People just don't listen or assign credibility to other people they think are nuts. They just don't.

I feel strongly about CPS. I also feel strongly about breastfeeding. (And there are even non-parenting topics that I feel strongly about as well.

) But all we can do is give people information. I can't make anyone practice CPS best practices, and I can't make a mother put her baby to her breast.

And I also think part of education is knowing when to stop (again, so people don't think I'm a nut and dismiss me out of hand). Yeah, I'll work hard to get a baby who is 12 months and 1 day, 21 pounds with a full tummy and full diaper, turned back around. A child who is 3 years old and 34 pounds and FFing in a 2007 Britax-- I'm not going to tell a parent that they're negligent for not buying a new seat to RF her for one more pound.

myliljunebugs · May 1, 2008

I am certain people think I'm a car seat nut. Around here you are lucky to see any seats a all. I'm not even talking about kids that have outgrown their seats, I'm talking once they are out of the infant bucket and can sit up on their own. Even in the buckets they are FF and not buckled. Then you have an almost 3 year old that was just recently turned FF and an almost 6 year old harnessed. In my dd's class at daycare (2.5-3yrs) she is the only one still harnessed, but I do think there are a few who are still in boosters. It is really sad. Thankfully I have the support of my family and their father to make me feel less of a freak.

christineka · May 1, 2008

I have learned that no one wants to know. If you are over the top people just tune out and think you are a crazy, obsessive, rude, wacko. I looked around at all the unsafe kids at a church children's activity yesterday and realized likely most of those kids will ride around unscathed just as I did. Yes, there are accidents and you never know who will be in them, but the majority won't. I have resolved to keep my children and those who ride in my vehicle as safe as I can. The rest- that's up to their parents and how they see fit to do it.

Christine

singingpond · May 1, 2008

AutoShopMama said:
.... My friends call me the car seat N*zi. But sometimes it's like "Hey I need a new seat, N*zi, what do you recommend" so it's not always bad.

Oh and is N*zi offensive? Don't want to offend anyone. It seems like about a year ago there was a thread about people being offended by it ... if so let me know and I'll change it...

I'm sure some find the word 'Nazi' offensive. However, you are reporting, factually, that this is what some of your friends call you, so I don't really see why anyone should be that sensitive about it. Why should you 'change it', if that's actually what they (jokingly) call you? It's sort of like the 'soup Nazi' episode on Seinfeld.

For the record, my family is from Germany (I was born there), so I'm far from impervious to the history of this word. I also believe in free speech. Words with heavy baggage shouldn't be thrown around lightly, but I don't think we need to erase them from the lexicon either.

JMO, Katrin

cdncasper · May 1, 2008

All my friends think i am a carseat geek--even the ones without kids lol. But they always come to me when they have troubles with their carseats or need some answers. In fact I have 4 Radians waiting for me to install sometime in the next week--3 FF and 1 RF (RF is for a just turned 2 yr old)

essnce629 · May 1, 2008

My friends all know I'm carseat (and anything baby) obsessed, but they all come to me when they have questions. But I'm also an infant nanny and a birth and postpartum doula, so I deal with baby and kids stuff every single day so they know that's the reason I have become so knowledgable. And because of my jobs, I feel more comfortable giving people advice. I don't stop strangers in the street or anything, but I have stopped my son's teacher in the hall after she had just had her baby to tell her that her daughters straps should be tighter and the chest clip should be moved up. She said she had no idea and acted extremely grateful. I've also informed my doula clients when their carseats are being misused (straps in the wrong position, etc) and have reminded them about little things they didn't know about their seats (that the Chicco infant insert has to come out at 11lbs, etc). They have all been extremely grateful and had no idea (no one seems to read their manuals very well). And just yesterday, the mom of the baby I nanny for told me she couldn't get her carseat secured in the center in their brand new car so she put it outboard for now until she could get it to a seat check. So I offered to fix it for her and she was so happy that she wouldn't have to search for a place to take her car for someone else to do it which would probably be weeks from now.

wendytthomas · May 1, 2008

cdncasper said:
All my friends think i am a carseat geek--even the ones without kids lol. But they always come to me when they have troubles with their carseats or need some answers. In fact I have 4 Radians waiting for me to install sometime in the next week--3 FF and 1 RF (RF is for a just turned 2 yr old)

Same here. I was told yesterday I needed an intervention. My local mommy board has magnets and if you see one you flip it over to say that they've seen you. Well, I got flipped yesterday at the store. I had no idea who did it, I didn't see another magnet. When I found out who it was she said that she was in the green Subaru next to me. My answer was, "Oh, with the Apex from BRU and the FFing EFTA?" I couldn't tell you what car it was (other than the tether anchors were on the roof) but I knew exactly what seats she had, and I was thinking they weren't common seats in my area, normally seats I recommend (she got them after seeing me recommend them), and I even pointed them out to Piper. So I got told I needed an intervention. LOL

I dream about carseats. I take pictures of carseats. I got two more carseats to go in my attic (who said I needed three more? Only two more fit). I think that brings my tally up to 13? I have one child. I have a bumper sticker on my car that says 8 out of 10 seats are installed incorrectly (that told the lady flipping me who I was, even without having met in person). I'm going to either get a CPST or a car-seat.org license plate holder. I am a card carrying, certifiable, carseat freak. Proud of it, too. People know this, people roll their eyes, and people ask questions. For those who don't I push to the point just shy of discomfort and then bite my tongue. Luckily most people around me ask more questions, rather than ignore or blow me off. And I get a lot of requests for private help.

Wendy

An Aurora · May 1, 2008

I do have a friend that thinks I'm way over the top and a car seat freak, but I think she's a biotch so we're even.

Stretchy Glue · May 1, 2008

An Aurora said:
I do have a friend that thinks I'm way over the top and a car seat freak, but I think she's a biotch so we're even.

Well Anna, putting a Cinderella dress in a car seat is pretty over the top

. I will vouch for car seat freakish ways. She's at least partially right.
:duck:

An Aurora · May 1, 2008

Stretchy Glue said:
Well Anna, putting a Cinderella dress in a car seat is pretty over the top. I will vouch for car seat freakish ways. She's at least partially right.
:duck:

Hey now, I beg to differ. Strapping Cinderella into her seat to keep "her" safe would have been over the top. Strapping Cinderella into her seat to appease a whiny, tired 2 year old was just a move to keep some semblance of sanity.

Stretchy Glue · May 1, 2008

An Aurora said:
Hey now, I beg to differ. Strapping Cinderella into her seat to keep "her" safe would have been over the top. Strapping Cinderella into her seat to appease a whiny, tired 2 year old was just a move to keep some semblance of sanity.

Yeah, I understand, but I still think you're crazy

.

carseatfreak · May 1, 2008

Absolutely! Hence the screen name! Seriously though...I always had it a little bad but I had a wreck about 2 years ago and my car was totalled on the way to work (dumb guy thinks it's okay to take my lane on a curve in the rain). For some reason...thank God...my dd was not with me in the car and safe at home with daddy (I was driving a demo while my car was in the shop...didn't even have a carseat in there) but shudder to think what would have happened to her (but felt safe knowing I'm one who makes sure my carseats are like part of the seats). If, God forbid, something like that ever happened I would want to know I did my darndest to keep her as safe as possible. I think that definitely was a breaking point for me... I would love to become a CPS technician. It would be just for the heck of it and for myself and family and friends but I think it would be worth it. So...bottom line...yes, I'm a carseat freak!

courtfrog2 · May 1, 2008

I *love* carseats... Sigh

I am proud to be a car seat nut. There are people... even my family... that think I am nuts, but oh well... at least my kids are the safest possible!

I got my cert on my own time too and I do use it alot though. I am on the safekids board and the head of the carseat committee. Techs actually come to me for advise and always ask to be paired up with me at checks! LOL.

Pingbns · May 1, 2008

Well considering I don't have kids, or young kids around me alot , yes.I am young and still in school (college). I think this counts as a major priority when protecting children.I have always gone to baby section in the store, or on the net and tinkered with car seats and have educated my self about product use and features. I hope to maybe help someone one day.

aisraeltax · May 1, 2008

AutoShopMama said:
Oh and is N*zi offensive? Don't want to offend anyone. It seems like about a year ago there was a thread about people being offended by it ... if so let me know and I'll change it...

well, the word itself isnt offensive..when used to describe Nazis...but when used to describe ppl who are passionate about issues (such as bf'ing and car seat safety), then yes. ;(

just so you know, im not upset about your use of it. im very happy to explain why its offensive (to me) if you want to pm me.

Mama2J · May 1, 2008

Yes people do think I am crazy! I was told that when I bought the Regent over a year ago. But I was so excited about what I had learned that I wanted to share it and help people who might not know. I gradually learned that people either are not worried about it or are not ready to hear it. Sometimes sadly, it takes a tragedy to be ready to hear.

I do not give any unsolicited advice. However, sometimes if the topic of carseats comes up, I can't help giving my two cents. Now that my son is at an age where most of his friends have moved to boosters, I try not to say anything at all. They have already made their decisions and all I can do is set an extended harnessing example (although if I get a question about his seat, I am happy to answer!).

firemomof3 · May 1, 2008

Ya, my husband thinks I need help. But I just tell him that it is a "hobby", and if he would rather I can switch to something more expensive like horses :evil grin:
He just saw the new Signo in my van as he was leaving and didn't say anything....we'll see how it goes later

Do people think you are a car seat freak? Are we over the top?

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