what to do when inlaws keep forgetting to tighten harness

jwren

New member
My inlaws have some of my extra carseats in their cars (currently MA's) and I am probably getting a GN for their car for Ds#1. But everytime they have the kids, I notice the chest clip at their waist and the straps loose... If I am there when they get the kids I of coarse fix it, and show them how to, but the next time I see them it's loose again and chest clip at belly. They just don't get it, I have emailed them the importance, showed them in person. I've done everything I can do without just being rude.. My MIL is very touchy, so if I tell her she has it wrong, she will have an attitude with me..what do I do?
 
ADS

mcomommy

New member
I would not let my parents/inlaws drive them then. :twocents: Their help is not worth my kids lives, maybe if you take that approach they will start to take you seriously.
 

jwren

New member
Good point but when dealing with a touchy MIL how do you go about it.

BTW: She is my only babysitter... My Mom passed away, my Dad too..Sometimes if there is an emergancy I (unfortunately) "need" her... (oh I hate that word.) Is their a delicate way to just tell her she has it all wrong!!!:eek:;)

I would not let my parents/inlaws drive them then. :twocents: Their help is not worth my kids lives, maybe if you take that approach they will start to take you seriously.
 

mcomommy

New member
It is hard when they our touchy but honestly I would just say it. It is your kids safety, not something to be danced around kwim.

"Hey I noticed the kids harness' are loose and their chest clips too low, I remember I showed you how do before maybe you forgot. Here let me show you again."

*show her*

"I am sure glad I have you to watch them, I would be not able to leave them with someone who was not able to buckle them in right."

If she still does not get it right.

"You know I showed you how to fix the kids harnesses and I noticed they are still loose, that is not okay as they could be really hurt in an accident, even killed. If you can't do it I can always find someone else to watch them."

How often does she have to mess with the harness? I don't usually have to loosen or tighten my kids harness when I put them in. Granted it can be a snug fit to get it buckled but maybe that would be a solution, get it tight and then ask her to leave it be?
 

amyg530

Active member
:yeahthat:

i think the PPs dialouge was perfect, 1st time she gets benifit of the doubt plus a little butt kissing (albet a bit tounge in cheek, which i like)
2nd time you tell it to her straight, remembering all the while that keeping your MIL happy is so far down the totem pole in comparison to the safety of your kids
 

Heather98012

New member
My parents never drive my daughter, but my dad always makes some snide comment (my mom knows better!). Something like "I'm so sorry your Mommy is squeezing you in there." I have tried being nice, I've tried being nasty, nothing worked. Last week he said it again & I just said "I'm sorry sweetie....I'd rather have you alive in a tight harness than the other option." That shut him up pretty damn quick!!
 

Gypsy

Senior Community Member
Does she loosen the harness, or do you do it when you take him out? Maybe all she does is put him in and buckle?

Leave the harness tight, tell her not to loosen it at all, that it's fit perfectly for him & if she loosens it again she won't be allowed to drive him anywhere.
 

TerisBoys

Well-known member
Your kids are older too, right?

Maybe teach them to remind grandma to tighten their harnesses. Even my special needs 5yo will yell at me if I forget to check his after he buckles.
 

natysr

New member
How old are your kids? Are they old enough to be taught how it should be so that they can tell MIL?

My son is 3 1/2 and I always say this little jingle while I'm buckling him in:

"Left Buckle in!
Right Buckle in, Snap!
Tug, Tug, Tug
Chest clip - Snap!
Tug, Tug, Tug til your snug as a hug!
Chest clip in the TICKLE SPOOOOTTT!"

then I ask "Are you safe now?" to which he will acknowledge.

Not only does he think it is funny, but it has taught him what it feels like to be in properly. He is also a stickler for certain routines. Now if anyone else tries to put him in his seat he will tell them "No, you are supposed to ...."

(BTW, the first set of tugs is UP on the harness just below the HUGS to get the slack out of the hip area. The second is for the harness adjustor."
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
If she can't or won't keep your kids safe, then start lining up other childcare. Yes, I know that's easier written than done, but it may be what you have to do. Child passenger safety is more than having the right seats, it's using them correctly every single time.
 

BookMama

Senior Community Member
Does she loosen the harness, or do you do it when you take him out? Maybe all she does is put him in and buckle?

Leave the harness tight, tell her not to loosen it at all, that it's fit perfectly for him & if she loosens it again she won't be allowed to drive him anywhere.

That's exactly what I was going to say. There's no reason the harness needs to be loosened - teach your DS to make "chicken arms" (fold his arms up close to his body) and he'll have no problem getting in and out. Your MIL will probably be just as happy to leave the harness alone entirely.
 

Murphy's Law

New member
I wrote "armpit level" on my chest clip on the spare seat using a marker because my FIL always forgets to slide it up. Not sure what would help the loose harness issue except for never loosening it as others have said.
 

sixmaybemore

New member
How about drama?

"the instructions to this seat are VERY specific. It says that the harness MUST be snug, with the clip at the chest, or it could cause injury or death to the child". Then using some of the other advice given "I've already set the harness to the right level, if you just leave it like that it should be fine".
 

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