Family Car Seat Frustrations

I have to post this on here because I know you guys all understand my frustration. Its going to get long.

My boyfriend and I volunteered to take my two nieces (ages 4 and 10) for a week for their parents to make a trip to Mexico. The 10 year old doesn't need a booster anymore but the 4 year old rides in a MA that my boyfriend and I bought for her after her parents stop using a seat altogether a few years ago (they originally had an OHS).

Their parents were to drop the girls off on their way to Mexico, and we are a two hour drive away from their house. When the girls arrive I immediately notice that the 4 year olds carseat is in the BED OF THE TRUCK and the 4 year old just hops out of the backseat of the truck I was LIVID. I mean they had just driven over two hours on 60+ MPH roads with a 4 year old with NO SEAT BELT, NO CARSEAT.

But wait, it gets worse....

As the girls are getting out of the truck, I notice that there are 7, yes SEVEN, more people in the truck including a 17 month old baby. And the baby is not in ANY kind of seat, no seat belt, NOTHING. Just riding on her mom's lap.

I gave them a little speech, since the driver of the truck is my (almost) SIL and she KNOWS my car seat craziness. She knew I was pissed. So they threw the girls' clothes and the 4 year olds MA out of the truck and drove off.

So my boyfriend and I called the cops on them to have someone pull them over and ticket them. But get this...the cop that pulled them over did NOTHING. In fact they didn't have car insurance on the truck, so he ticketed them for that, and they HID the baby underneath a blanket and since she was already sleeping, she didn't make a sound. (I found this out from my SIL who is dumb enough to tell me this. She doesn't even know that I called the cops on her because they were originally pulled over for speeding, so she thinks that's the reason). Once they were ticketed for not having insurance, they all went on their merry way on an 18 hour trip to Mexico with a baby in the back with NO CARSEAT.

I'm so angry for so many obvious reasons. Angry at my SIL for being so stupid and scared to think of how often she travels with my precious 4 year old niece unrestrained. I'm angry that she allowed a baby to ride in her truck without a carseat. She says "well if the mom of the baby gets a ticket for it, than she'll pay for it. Not me because its not my kid." WHAT ABOUT A FREAKING BABY'S LIFE.

And of course I'm angry that the cop that pulled them over didn't do anything about it.

Thanks for listening. I know you people will be equally as outraged. Its hard enough to see children that aren't in carseats when driving on the road but its even harder to see children that you love and care for. UGH.

This may or may not help. Try sending as much brochures as possible to them on car seat safety and stats on crashes involving children.

As a last resort tell them you will call the police everytime you see them not using a child seat.

As far as the officer goes, unfortunately there are officers that don't care about traffic safety or occuppant protection laws. They just don't understand what happens in a crash and why occuppant protectin is so important to enforce.

If your state has a hotline to report unrestrained children, that's worth a call, too. If not, you can always try one from out of state. If the participating police department can get the necessary information, they may still be able to send a packet of information with some official police letterhead.

It's is sad that some people just don't know or care that riding unrestrained in a car is the biggest threat to a child's life and probably their own life, too.

You have my sympathy - my sister is the same way. i'm just glad that she at least leaves my 5 yo neice's seat here when I'm babysitting - it used to be if I needed to take the kids out I had to leave th eolder kids with my dh and put her in my oldest son's seat. :O(

i think you family my be my in laws! I live with the same type stuff.

I actually got called a few nasty names last 4th of July b/c i choose to walk from one side of my in laws farm to the other with my SIL that the 2 of us take the farm truck with the other grand kids. I know it was only a few acres but my grandfather in law enjoys driving really fast up the bumpy little farm lanes in a dully truck (45 mph with 7 kids and my GFIL in a truck that seats 5). He hit a tree with the fender and 2 of the girls got chipped teeth and the others were all bruised up but some how i was the bad guy b/c i choose not to go.

Last month i picked up my SIL from her grandmothers during an ice storm. I went out and installed the seat and her grandfather came out to watch/help. He told me as i pushed the seat down with my knees and pulled hard he said "Oh dont pull so hard you'll break it." i told him the tighter it was the less likely it would come loose and he just stared at me. So i check the fit (wiggled it side to side) and decided it was good so i went to put on the belt clip he tells me "oh dont bother with that thing. Once you get it on its hard to get off and you dont need it anyway." I told him the belt needed it to stay tight and he sort of scoffed about the whole tight thing. Then my fiance brings her out to me and i tell her we need to take off her coat but i had heated up the car so it was Ok (granted the door had been open the whole time i installed the seat) he grabbed the coat away from em and tried to stuff her back in it after i took it off. So she climbs in after the whole coat argument (thank god she's a very stubborn child and refused to put it back on) I put her in and couldn't get her buckle to go together right. The straps were twisted and folded terribly and i couldnt see how to get the puzzle together, after fighting with it for several minutes he come back over (he wandered away after the coat fight) and tells me "me and me-maw cant figure out that part either. When we take her, me-maw drives and i sit the in the back and hold her in" I tried to explain you can just hold her in and he kept telling me that they had drive 150 miles like that 2 weeks prior and she didnt get out of the seat once. He wouldnt listen when i told him the belts had to be done to make the seat actually work when she was sitting in it. He just told me "well i held her extra hard when ever i felt me-maw hit the brakes." Then finally i got it done right and started to pull the harness adjuster to tighten it and he told me i was going to strangle her and kill her with the chest clip. he attempted to pull the clip down to her belly so she was comfy when he kissed her goodbye but she yanked it back up and told him "i like it here" and shuck her tongue out at him. (My son to be car seat queen! )

My SMIL (SIL's mom) also trys to make her seat more comfy and loosen up the belts but i've taught SIL if she can reach her harness adjuster she should grab a hold of it and pull really hard. She likes it b/c her mother goes nuts about it and how she's going to get 'stuck' in there. I dont know why she tries to discourage this, it seems to me that if she's willing to get tighter in there she should most kids want it looser not tighter!

*ugh*
I think the truth of the matter is they just do not understand that the most dangerous thing they'll ever do is ride in a car.

Oy! I've seen similar crap in my family/friends, too ... but that cop really TICKS ME OFF

papooses said:

Oy! I've seen similar crap in my family/friends, too ... but that cop really TICKS ME OFF

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At least the apparent5ly hid the baby, i've called the local police several times on my neighbors daughters my local police tell me that they cant put out a search for a single car for something as minor as a seat belt problem. They have to have a big problem like drugs or felones in them (exact words, i swear) I called them one night and reported i was following a drunk driver with 3 kids standing in the back seat he was so drunk (he had weaved into the curb on the left side of the road from the middle lane!) and they said they couldnt come hunt down every drunk driver and to call them back if he crashes. OMG i yelled so much at the guy on the phone i'm lucky i didnt crash my car! I've found my state/highway police to be better about it though, i guess thats what happens when you live in a stupid small town!

Dreamin, have you Googled your state legislative website to view the actual laws? You might have very good reason (legally that is; of course this is enough reason logically!) to report this to someone higher up....

yes i have but unfortunately i'm in the south and our laws arent enforced very well. now if i'm going to call i call the state/highway guys they generally are nice and are willing to help.

If you thnk about it here is the botom line,,,,,,,

People just don't have any idea what happens in a crash such as the dynamics of a crash or how violent a crash is even at just 30 mph.

Society accepts fatal vehicle crashes. They don't think about it unless it hits close to home. God forbid a plane crashes and every news channel picks up on it for days. When a family is killed in a car crash its mostly in the papers. Maybe the night time tv news if its a slow night.

and some parents dont care because they have to take a little time to put the CP seat in right or heaven forbid they need to seek help from a certified technician.

Robert said:

Society accepts fatal vehicle crashes. They don't think about it unless it hits close to home.

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exactly! And most people are stuck in the "it won't happen to me" mindset.

skaterbabscpst said:

*ugh*
I think the truth of the matter is they just do not understand that the most dangerous thing they'll ever do is ride in a car.

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This is what I tell people all the time when they figure out what a carseat nut I am. "Riding in a car is the most dangerous thing my kids do... and they do it almost every day! As their mother, it is my job to do everything I can to make them as safe as possible!" If you disagree with that, then you're a complete idiot!!

And I thought my family was bad! LOL
My mom was just telling me the other day that since in GA, they only have to be restrained in a seat up to age 6, my niece doesn't need a booster anymore. She's around 48 inches and 45 lbs. I told her that while legally, that may be true, she was much safer in a booster. She does still usually put her in one, but feels that its fine to skip it sometimes. I went and printed off the 5 step test for her. She wasn't very convinced.
The next day, my dad told me that in Ga, after age 4 nothing is required. He was trying to say that even a seat belt isn't required for minors! But he insisted that no carseat is required after age 4. I asked him to pull up the site where he found that - it was actually ON The GA highway safety site, but the document was dated July 1996!! I told him that was a VERY old document and the new law was put into effect over a year ago, and requires boosters up to at least age 6, and he still argued that if its still on the state's site, its still valid. He finally gave in, but just couldn't believe GA hadn't updated their website. really, you would think they'd delete old documents like that. But then he made the comment that the only reason I worry about carseats so much is because of my driving skills. Ugh. I drive just fine! I didn't think of it until later, but I wish I'd replied that no, I'm concerned with carseats because car accidents are the number on killer of kids! But hey, I won an argument with my dad, and thats cause for celebration in itself LOL

Even if you are the safest driver on the street, that doesn't mean everyone else is!!

oh yeah, then i mentioned the safety of RF and 5 pt harnesses for everyone, technically speaking and he had to get all smart and say "oh, no, it safest for the driver to face forward." how annoying! LOL

my3girls said:

Even if you are the safest driver on the street, that doesn't mean everyone else is!!

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EXACTLY

When I was in my wreck last month, I actually used it to my advantage by preaching the RF benefits speech, since everyone thinks I'm crazy that I have "a baby that is PLENTY old enough to be FF"

No one argued one second when they saw my car and realized just how bad it could have been. ARGH.

I still love papooses reply of (and I loosely quote) "That may be what the state laws are...... in our house, it's the laws of physics that matter"

Hehe - I think I got that saying from Ulrike?