What do you do if you see someone you know

U

Unregistered

Guest

• Apr 16, 2008

• #1

Or in the same play group as you and their car seat is not right. Today at play group one of the moms came back. She just had her second child who is 3 weeks not. His car seat straps was threaded in the highest place which was where his head was and I could fit another baby in the straps with him. I was not sure if I should say something and maybe start something or if it was better to say something. What would you so if I were you?

 

mominabigtruck

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #2

If it was someone I knew I would just go up and fix it, say hey I'm just going to take care of this for you, in a nice non-judgemental way. And then I'd put her on my mailing list of people who get carseat related emails.

 

bombedier

Senior Community Member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #3

Better to take action than to have regrets that you didn't if something happened. I usually say, "here, let me adjust that for you" then I mention the monthly car seat clinic held in town.

 

Loves2sing

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #4

Say, "Whoops! Looks like you forgot to re-set the straps, here let me help!" And then relate it to a misuse you have done so it's not like you are so perfect and she is not. KWIM? (I have even gone so far as to make up a minor story about my "misusage.")

 

mish

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #5

I just fix it for them. However, I have to know them pretty well for that to happen. I don't say anything to strangers. If is was someone I just knew a little bit, I would just talk to them. Say something like, "I've been learning so much about car seats. Did you know that you should......?". That usually works.

 

Defrost

Moderator - CPSTI Emeritus

• Apr 16, 2008

• #6

Yep - I say "Oh, let me fix that for you. I did this with *insert kid's name*, and so-and-so helped me with it. I felt silly at first, but so-and-so said that nearly everyone makes mistakes because carseats are more complicated than we realize." If they get that funny look like I've just insulted their mother, I am very apologetic and reassuring that I'm NOT judging them, just trying to "pay it forward" because I've needed help before, too.

A light-hearted tone really helps. It's hard to be light-hearted because it's such a serious and important thing, but "OMG HOLY CRAP YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOUR BABY!!!!" tends not to go over very well...

 

Loves2sing

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #7

Defrost said:

A light-hearted tone really helps. It's hard to be light-hearted because it's such a serious and important thing, but "OMG HOLY CRAP YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOUR BABY!!!!" tends not to go over very well...

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Even though that's what we may be thinking. I have gone that route once, and even though she took it pretty well, and took my advice, I felt awful afterward for letting my initial shock show. I felt that I lacked a lot of tact that is necessary when dealing with these kinds of issues.

 

Adventuredad

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #8

I would try to help out in a diplomatic way not making a big deal about it. I usually don't get involved with strangers unless it's a very serious and dangerous situation but with friends it's different.

I know many don't care about carseat safety but I do so I try to help friends out.

 

M

mylittlet

Senior Community Member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #9

Great photos Adventuredad.

I just say this at MOPS the other day. The mom was pulling the straps tight, but they won't get any tighter. She had forgotten to move to the small loops on the harness. She had moved to the lower setting, but forgot the second set of loops.

 

U

Unregistered1

Guest

• Apr 16, 2008

• #10

So here's MY question. If it was a friend I would say something nice, like "hey, did you know you could actually move "name"'s straps down a little more to keep her safer?" But I WORK at a daycare. I frequently see parents putting their kids into seats wrong (kids who have outgrown infant seats, harnesses too loose, chest clips too low, kids too young for FF and boosters) and I want to say something, I feel like it's my duty as a CPST to say something, but I don't want to make the parents feel bad or upset them. It is my job to watch their kids and I am not sure my boss (who I love) would want me giving them unsolicited car seat advice. My heart says to say something, but my head says, how can I? "Hi I was looking into your car the other day and saw that your daughter is too little for a booster seat"? How do you explain to someone that you were staring into their vehicle, LOL.

I *am* going to start carring the CPST bag I just ordered off Cafepress as a conversation starter

 

Misty-Bug

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #11

if it were me and I knew here I would do this....and I have.....

just tell her you don't want to step in on her parenting but you are practicing to become a trained car seat technician or something, and just ask if you could give her a couple pointers to help keep baby safe. Alot of parents really don't know what or how to do things in regards to this. There is a lack of communication if you ask me.
If she says no just tell her what you know and suggest she fixes it. Tell her you wouldn't want to see anything happen to baby.
If she says sure (which in my experience new parents will for advice) then do everything you need to do while telling her what needs to be done

 

Misty-Bug

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #12

MissKatie said:

So here's MY question. If it was a friend I would say something nice, like "hey, did you know you could actually move "name"'s straps down a little more to keep her safer?" But I WORK at a daycare. I frequently see parents putting their kids into seats wrong (kids who have outgrown infant seats, harnesses too loose, chest clips too low, kids too young for FF and boosters) and I want to say something, I feel like it's my duty as a CPST to say something, but I don't want to make the parents feel bad or upset them. It is my job to watch their kids and I am not sure my boss (who I love) would want me giving them unsolicited car seat advice. My heart says to say something, but my head says, how can I? "Hi I was looking into your car the other day and saw that your daughter is too little for a booster seat"? How do you explain to someone that you were staring into their vehicle, LOL.

I *am* going to start carring the CPST bag I just ordered off Cafepress as a conversation starter

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I would talk to your boss. Maybe see if they can set up a day where you can help parents. Give out a pamphlet to let them know. You can mention that you are a CPST and that you just were wondering if you might be able to give some pointers. Tell them you don't want to offend them or anything just offer some of your trained advice.
IME they are receptive

 

A

AlisonR80

New member

• Apr 16, 2008

• #13

I had a similar experience at my son's pre-school... another mom has a 10 m.o. baby in an expired infant seat and the straps are SOOO loose, he would fly out in an accident for sure. For months I've said nothing but it's really bothered me and of course i'd feel terrible if he was injured/killed in a crash. There is a local car seat check that will have replacement seats available so I told the mom about it in case she needs a new seat (which i know she does). I mentioned how car seat expire and she had no idea that they expired. I didn't say anything about the straps...it's a touchy subject. I'm hoping she goes to the check on saturday to get a new seat. I'm going to remind her tomorrow.

 

KJAJ&RJ'sMommy

New member

• Apr 17, 2008

• #14

I also had an experience with too lose straps. Except it was with my Goddaughter so it's a little different. Her straps where like pp said- so lose that she would have flown out in a wreck. My DH and I have actually fixed them a few times and she always put them back to falling off of her... until I started researching car seats and I showed her the youtube video on how important rear-facing is. You see, her DD is only 6 days younger than my (almost) 8 month old son. DS will be 8 months on this friday (18th). Anyway, she was over last night and I carried my GD to the car to strap her in and to my surprise the straps where just right! :thumbsup: I was so glad that I showed her that video and have shared everything I've learned with her. A lot of people just really have no idea and they apreciate someone telling them.