32 mos old, 28 lbs, 36", long torso--help!

My ds has begun to really notice that we sit in the car's seats, forward facing, and use the seatbelts. I know that he is at an "arguing" stage (he argues w/me all day, about everything), and yes, I absolutely agree that rearfacing is safest and will not be convinced that forward facing is really okay...BUT even diehard carseat safety fanatics can get frustrated! LOL

I'm 4 mos pregnant, my back is killing me, and I can't reach ds to hand him things in the seat, nor can I easily fight w/him every day about getting in the seat. He's grumpy about riding b/c we can't talk--I can't hear him at all as is. And it's really tough for me to tighten up the Decathlon harness (it's not that much easier forward facing, but it is a tad). I know the phase will pass...but...

I really wish he weighed 33 lbs and HAD to be forward facing or was 3-4 yrs old so that I wouldn't feel really guilty about turning him forward facing.

I know that we shouldn't--I know that--and I wish I didn't want to to make things easier for me.

Please either convince me to keep him rearfacing, offer suggestions to help me keep him rearfacing, or compare forward facing w/tether to rearfacing at this age to ease up on the guilt if we turn him for good.

FWIW, I'm not against buying him another carseat or cover OR a DVD player (ughh $$) if that would help. I'm wondering if I let him pick out a new EFTA or something else if I could end some of the arguments. He likes riding in the Decathlon, but the EFTA is a bit roomier.

I'm so frustrated!

Thanks for your help and support!

henrietta

If things are that hard, and w/ being pg it probably is, turn him at least temporarily. You've done great keeping him rfing this long and he's almost 3 so you're over the 2yr min we like. Then hopefully when baby comes he'll go back to rfing easily.

If you really feel that you want to turn him FF now, that is certainly your decision. You've made it past 2 years, which is great. :thumbsup:

But with the knowledge that you have, YOU have to be 100% comfortable with your decision to turn him FF.

If your gut is telling you not to, or you are feeling guilt about it, then I would suggest that you try some other things first.

Here are a few suggestions that I have:

1. Keep in egg timer in the car. When you go out to the car, set the timer and let him sit in a big seat at play with the seatbelt etc. When the timer goes off, then it is time for him to get into his seat and buckled up.

My thought on the above is that he is wanting to play in the big seats, and that turning his carseat FF will not help. He will still want to play with the big seatbelt.

2. DVD players are getting pretty cheap these days. If you do use one, make sure it is very secure. This may be a one-way road though. Once he has the DVD player, he may demand it all the time. Be prepared.

3. What type of car do you have, and where is his seat in relation to the driver? I ask this because in my car, I have Jordan RF behind the driver. I find it really easy to hand things to him. I just lift my arm above my head and down and drop things down the slope of inside his carseat, and he retrieves them. Actually, I dred turing him FF because I feel it will then be very difficult to hand things to him.

4. Get a toy caddy to keep in the car with toys that he doesn't generally play with. Things that he will look forward to having.

We have the Toy Tote by Alex. Jordan got it at Christmas. He can reach everything in it, and I explained to him that if he drops his things on the other seat and doesn't put it back in the toy box, then I will not retrieve it for him.

I know that many parents are more strict than I am about having toys (projectiles) in the car. But, I think having the toy tote is a happy medium for us. It keeps the toys that are not in use somewhat contained, and the tote does buckle into the seatbelt.

Anytime after 2 years old, especially closer to 3, I personally wouldn't worry too much about turning FF (within the weight limit) because the risk is much lower at this point ... & the decision doesn't have to be permanent: my kiddo turned FF for a bit when considerations of sanity took precedence but she reverted back to RF again a bit later without any problems. Here's the post in which I describe how we made this happen. (Actually, she'd been FF prematurely & was innitially reverted back to RF after her 2nd birthday: so she was RF, then FF before I knew better, then RF, then FF & RF again before finally *having* to ride FF forever ) My point is that it doesn't have to be a permanent decision yet & if turning FF at this age helps make your life less stressful then that could potentially help reduce your driver distraction, which could be a good thing!

natysr said:

Actually, I dred turing him FF because I feel it will then be very difficult to hand things to him.

Click to expand...

It was a bit more difficult for me to pass things to my DD after I turned her FF in the center, too, but she'd been riding RF on the passenger side before.

I think having the toy tote is a happy medium for us.

Click to expand...

Yeah, we had a toy tote that buckled in, too (don't remember what it was called) & only used it briefly because she liked stuffing mysterious food inside it Anyway, we avoided any projectile issue by keeping only cloth books, soft finger or hand puppets & mini play silks in it.

Thank you for the help!!!

Yes, rearfacing does seem more difficult in this vehicle (we now have a Chrysler T and C w/2 captains chairs both outboard in the second row, but before, we had a Mercury Villager w/second row bench seat).

I don't mind if the DVD player becomes a permanent fixture if it helps me survive (well, if it helps HIM survive-ha, ha!).

I can look and see if I can find a way to keep toys w/i his reach--maybe some of those bags that hang on the side of the seat).

I'd love it if I could put him rearfacing behind me, but no matter what angle his Decathlon is at, my seat would be too upright for me to be comfortable and safe to drive while pregnant. You'd think it wouldn't be a problem in this van, but it is. ugh.

I'll work on it some more. Thank you! Keep the suggestions coming!!!!

henrietta

If you reach behind the rfing seat and pull the harness tight against his chest by grabbing the splitter plate, it is much easier to pull the front adjuster to take up the slack.