OMG this is just not right!

Momto3Divaz

New member
:eek: Situation is my ex's (Father to DD1 & 2), ex-girlfriend(call her B) with whom I have a great relationship with, they have a 2yr old son(J). I adore that little boy to pieces!! B sent me some pics including of some with her in it, taking self pics in her car and to my horror J in the background happy as can be in an INFANT carseat turned facing forward!!:eek: I know its not a financial situation at all since my ex's parents actually provide everything he needs. Im going to call her as SOON as I get home!! But I dont want to come down on her as a know it all (since Im no expert) I would like to just provide her with info how do I approach this?
 
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Momto3Divaz

New member
:eek: I didnt notice that, no 1 arm is out!! Shes one of the know it all moms, I cant believe she is not educated on carseat safety to begin with. My daughters grandparents are old fashioned and tried strapping DD1 into the seatbelt when she was 2yrs old :eek: so they probably dont see a huge problem with this either. There are stricter carseat laws in NV and they went into effect when I lived there a couple years ago I dont know what shes thinking :confused:
 

Mommy2Marcus

New member
OMG~! I can not believe that. It seems crazy to me that people would do that. I would send her an email telling her that you noticed that in the picture that J was in need of a new car seat & thought you might suggest a few for him. I would also make sure that she knows that that is VERY unsafe. I am not sure WHY people do things like this when it is clearly wrtien on th seat that it is a RF seat only! Good Luck & I hope he gets a new seat SOON!
 

Melanie

New member
I think you need to handle it very delicately. Be very nice and sweet. Make sure you aren't sounding judgmental at all (I agree she is crazy for doing it that way...but you don't want her to know that's how you feel). Give her no reason to turn the focus back onto you. Just say how adorable he is and that you noticed his infant seat is turned FF. That a lot of people are confused about this b/c there are some seats that do go both ways. Put the blame on the car seat manufacturers for not being more clear. Tell her you didn't realize how many mistakes you were making until you ___ (became a tech, found this site, etc). Offer to assist if she needs any help installing or picking out another seat.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.
 

Loves2sing

New member
You could always play the innocent and a little not sure role yourself. Tell her that you found a great website that gave you a ton of information when you had questions about properly restaining your own precious ones, and that it has helped you SOOO much. Tell her that you are pretty sure that you are aware that infant seats are not be forward facing, and if she checked out this website, that maybe someone here could help her as well. It is so sad to see people who love thier kids put them unknowingly in danger.
 

leighi123

Active member
Where in NV is she? There is a carseat check point comming up here in Reno- its not for a cupple weeks tho and obviously that needs to be corrected ASAP!
 

stayinhomewithmy6

Senior Community Member
You could always play the innocent and a little not sure role yourself. Tell her that you found a great website that gave you a ton of information when you had questions about properly restaining your own precious ones, and that it has helped you SOOO much. Tell her that you are pretty sure that you are aware that infant seats are not be forward facing, and if she checked out this website, that maybe someone here could help her as well.

That's what I would do, but I'm a big chicken when it comes to anything even close to confrontational. And I'm always worried that parents will feel like I'm criticizing their parenting skills.
That is one scary picture!
Bee sure to let us know how it goes!
 

UlrikeDG

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Please do not post other peoples' photos without their permission. Thanks!
 

Momto3Divaz

New member
Opps sorry thats why I blocked out her face :( Okay I tried calling her last night but she was at work and couldnt talk. Im going to beat around the bush but still get my point out because I really dont want to upset her, she calls me often for advice on her DS from anything like egzema to sippy cups. Shes actually in southern UT less than an hour drive from Las Vegas which is where my ex and his family reside and J spends 2-3 weeks a month there. I am going to approach this with ease and have some readily carseat suggestions for her... Im then going to call my ex's Mother who takes care of J when hes in Vegas and basically just tell her flat out he needs to be in the proper carseat, she's easy very very old fashion but if I throw in the law she will happily go buy J a carseat :) I was thinking the Scenera or preferably the GN :thumbsup:
 

Momto3Divaz

New member
alright I sent her a msg I think it will get to her before I can heres what it reads:

Mamas call me seriously, got info 4 u on the carseat.... must get lil man in a carseat for his age and size asap... ill msg u some info too k love, T


:) Hope thats not pushy sounding, but its been bothering me since I seen the pic yesterday. Hes a heathy little boy and hes going to be 3 in Oct, DD3 grew out of her carseat at 8 months I HAVE no idea how shes putting him in the seat :eek:
 

Momto3Divaz

New member
i sent her a ton of info recommending the Scenera, Nautilus, & the Regent whew!! I told her it can be very confusing because the carseat pamplets can be goofy, I also told her to check the side of the infant carseat which would tell her 1st off that the carseat is suppose to be RF only for a child up to 20pounds (depending on the seat), I explained that it was extremly dangerous for J, and if she were to get stopped she could get into trouble (I dont even know if police check this I hope so) I just want him to be safe and her not to get into anytype of trouble, I told her the carseats I have and that I even have DD1 harnessed for safety reasons..... I hope it goes well I told her in a non threatening way only as advice and because I care...
 

Loves2sing

New member
PLEASE keep us updated! I really hope that she takes this out of love which is obviously the way you mean it!
 

Shaunam

New member
;) I will, Im a little nervous on her response but someone had to tell her

Try not to worry. I don't doubt that she will be a little angry and probably embarrased, but that's ok. I've discovered that when someone criticizes my parenting, it only hurts when I know they are right. Hopefully she will realize that you are only telling her because you care about her little boy.

At least you gave her the info. It's in her hands now. Can you imagine if they were in an accident and you had said nothing?

I don't think police routinely check child restraints when they stop people, especially if there doesn't seem to be awful miuse. But I think even the most thick-skulled cop would realize a 2 year old in a ff'ing infant carrier is not right.
 

Momto3Divaz

New member
WHEW okay!! So she replied and it was not awful YAY!! it was a temp fix... But yes as someone said I would have been sick to my stomach had I not said something and the worse were to happen!!

heres a copy of my msg to her
i edited the names :)

Hey Girl!

I just wanted to pass info onto ya since I know it can be confusing, but if you were to get stopped you could get into trouble or if you were in even a minor accident it would be extremly dangerous for J...... The infant seat hes in, in the pic is only for infants up to 20pounds it should say so on the side of the seat and is only to be used rearfacing..... I have Natylie in a Britax Marathon rearfacing till shes 30 pounds its safer that way, and Gabryel is in a Britax Regent that will keep her harnessed till shes 6 or 7yrs old(sometimes longer), Bryanna also has a Britax Regent and for backup she has a Britax Parkway which is a booster :) For J depending how much you want to spend Ill recommend 1st the Costco Scenera which they carry at walmart, target & k-mart this goes up to 40 pounds I believe and its only $40 dollars Natylie has that one for a backup at the babysitters house, really good seat for the price.

http://www. walmart. com/catalog/product. do?product_id=8054497&povid=cat91365-env4498-module149288-rL
ink9

2nd seat would be a Graco Natilus AWESOME seat and it will last him till hes atleast 6yrs old as a harness then it turns into a booster after that its $150 <- thats my favorite (but you know the girls like girlie colors lol)

http://www. walmart. com/catalog/product. do?product_id=8112222&povid=cat91365-env4498-module149288-rL
ink1

Ill throw in the 3rd seat anyways as the Britax Regent which is what the girls have it will last a long time too :) the price though is around $269.99 I bought my 2 on sale for $209 each you may be able to still find them on sale :)

http://www. toysrus. com/product/index. jsp?productId=2815321

so call me if you need more help or have questions Im only telling you this info because its very important and its for J

This is her reply

thank you. I appreciate you t. he has a normal carseat it was temporarily out of service due to peanut but cookies but we back in buisness now. you should call me though so we can chop it for a few. once again ur AMAZING! good lookin on da lil bro tho fasho and ya I was feelin all sorts of ghetto using that thang but I felt like it was better that nothing.
 

Momto3Divaz

New member
:) a little lingo but all in all atleast J is indeed in a different seat although Im still leary... Im going to visit this summer and she will be calling me soon so I will check it out some more......ahhhhh I feel better
 

Loves2sing

New member
Well i hope that everything meets your standards when you go out there. I would try to check her install, just to make myself feel better if I were you.:whistle:
 

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