Looking for some advice

I am in a sticky situation. My mother babysits my neice most days (she and my sister share the babysitting, mom has her most afternoons) and my mom picks up my oldest son from school for me most days. This neice is my brother's daughter and she will be 2 next month. I have had lots of conversations with my sister in law about car seat safety and she has always seemed to be very on board about it although when they turned her FF at 1 yr I talked with her and sent her links and she said she was going to turn her back around she was not turned around in my mom's car or my brother's so maybe she just agrees with me but then turns around and says I am crazy, who knows. She did however, on her own, take my mom and my sister to the local police station to have their seats installed and have them shown how to do it both with the infant seat and when she switched to the convertable. Whenever my mom drops Drew off and I go outside I take a look at my neice's seat (which is about once or twice a month) and up until about 6 months ago I was always impressed that it was in right and my neice was buckled in right and would tell her so but lately, ugh. A couple months ago the seat was in so loose that I could lift it halfway up the vehicle seat back, it was ridiculous. I gave her a reaming and fixed it and she kept saying "I dont know how it happened, I swear I put it in tight blah blah" but it has happened a couple more times since then and then today Drew got home and showed me a video of my neice he took today on his cell and the chest clip was down at her belly button and the harness was super loose, and she had her winter coat on under it. So it was loose on top of the coat even! No way she would have stayed in that seat in a crash. I called my mom and reamed her again and she said "I always make sure the chest clip is up high and the harness is tight" I said well apparently not ALWAYS because it wasn't today! So then she blamed it on my son. Said they stopped for ice cream and Drew put her back in the seat. WTF she trusts my 12 yr old to put her in the seat right? My dilema is, should I tell my sister in law? I dont know how she will react. If it were me I would totally want to know. I dont know if she will be glad I am telling her or if she will be mad I am upsetting and worrying her because she has so little control over such things since she works full time. Should I just keep on my mom about it or do I tattle on her? Thanks in advance for your advice.

If she wants to blame your 12 yo, then pull a fast one on her. Teach your 12 yo how to do right! My eldest is 11 1/2 and has been able to properly buckle his sister for almost a year. Depending on his size and coordination level he may even be able to properly install the seat. From your sig he's almost as big as I am, so he should have no trouble getting the seat in tightly, the rest is just following the directions.

At least that way you know you have a well-trained person keeping an eye on the little one. :twocents:

Hey, that is a good idea. He is a very big kid 5' 9.5" I have never let him or my daughter do any car seat stuff because I feel it's my duty to make sure they are in right. In fact, I even double check after DH buckle's them in lol. I could certainly teach him though.

He's taller than I am by 1/2 an inch (just not as heavy lol). He certain COULD be taught to do it right.

He's bigger than me all the way around, so as long as he's got good coordination he should be able to do it! :thumbsup:

Like skaterbabs said, that way you always know someone extra is looking out for her.

Yea I tend to grow big kids for some reason. He is a full head taller than the next tallest kid in his grade and on his soccer team. Parents on the other teams always complain that he is too old to be on that team and it isn't fair.

LOL he's about 2" and 25lbs bigger, and I'm sure a whole lot stronger and full of energy. So after you teach him, please send him along to practice on my seats!!!

My 7 year old knows more about car seats than a lot of adults, so I have no doubt your son could learn to do it right.