spinoff - harness at 5, 6, 7yo and school friends issues

minismom

Well-known member
I read a couple of posts in the thread about older kids in HWH and it got me thinking. How do your kids feel about it? Are any of their school friends still in harness? Do they get teased?
I plan on keeping dd harnessed for as long as possible, and security things are non negotiable, but I just wonder how much of a fight it will be... I hope maybe growing uo hearing mom go on and on about car seats will do the trick.
Has anyone shown crash test videos to a 5, 6 yo to get the point across? is that appropriate?

ETA: do you ever get approached by other moms/teachers about it? either to criticize or ask questions? what do you do if they go out wth a friend? do you always drive, do you have extra seats in your car for their friends etc?
 
ADS

Jordynsmama

New member
I showed them to Jordyn at 4. Its just realistic and kids should know why they are wearing seatbelts and why they are in harnesses. They should want to keep themselves safe, so its important they understand the outcome of not being safe-

I may not she them anything gory or anything like that-but crash tests with dummies are great:thumbsup:
 
I showed them to Jordyn at 4. Its just realistic and kids should know why they are wearing seatbelts and why they are in harnesses. They should want to keep themselves safe, so its important they understand the outcome of not being safe-

So well said! i repd your reply.

I was in a car accident at 11yrs then less than 12 months later at 12 yrs, I was in the back first time on the main road, second was in the front, no air bag and was in a school zone. Both times rear ended. I could never ever ride again without a belt. I had mine on both times thankfully. I was then small enough to still be in my booster, but my father took it away from me about 9 yr.

My Nana had a harness and I :love: it. I still have it at home, i think, and its strange. I hope to find it one day.

So any child in my car is told they will be in the back seat, and in a car seat/restraint based on their age, regardless of if they have one at home or not. I have the ride safer vests for the older children, and a radian and MA for pre-school/toddler. My niece loves the Ma - She has a booster now but loves Aunties seat! :) She will have a full booster once too big then a vest/harness. She will not be in a harness with her Mom though, but she knows they are my rules and accepts them. Even If i have to transport the kids i work with (5-11) they will be in a harness.
 

Mama2J

Member
I've wondered the same thing in anticipation of J getting older and still in a harnessed seat. Even at 4, most other kids around here are in boosters, so it's already happening a bit with other parents.

As for J, it's all he knows right now, so he's never had a problem with it. I guess I'm also kind of prolonging things, as I'm keeping him in a private kindergarten and the way his birthday falls, he will be almost 7 by the time he goes to public school.
 

BookMama

Senior Community Member
Somewhat surprisingly, this has been an non-issue in our house. (I say "surprisingly" because in Michigan, kids can legally ride in just the seat belt when they turn 4 - and many do. Very few kids are harnessed past 4, though I'd say maybe half use boosters until 5 or 6. I'm sure that DS is the only first grader in his school who's still harnessed.

We call his Regent his "super safe" seat. I've shown him the crash test videos (as Jordynsmama said, nothing gory, just the crash test dummies) and he understands that his seats keep him safe. I've also had him sit in just the seat belt so that I could show him why it didn't fit him right. I think he understood that. Sometimes we talk about how safe the car seats are when we're in the car, but I try not to harp on the issue either.

I suppose that in our case, it helps my kids are rarely in the car with other kids. We don't car pool or take other kids anywhere often. But kids who ride in my car always ride properly restrained, regardless of how they ride in their parents' cars. That means that when I chaperoned/drove for the zoo field trip last fall, I bought two extra boosters just in case. Good thing I did, too, because the two girls who rode with us were just a little bigger than DS but didn't bring boosters (because neither uses one with their parents).
 

natysr

New member
We are still a ways from being school aged and really dealing with this, but we've only heard a couple comments about ERF.

Our best friends' youngest son is 5 months older than Jordan. She claims he is 40 pounds, but they are about the same height, and while her son is heavier than my son, he just doens't appear at all to be 13 pounds heavier th an Jordan. Anyway, he rides in a booster. (He will be 4 in February). His dad makes comments about Jordan still being RF, and if I am going to keep him like that until college. :rolleyes:

One day while leaving daycare, a just turned 5 year old asked his dad why Jordan's seat was "that way". His dad told him frankly "Because he is little and that is safer. When you were little you road backwards too." :thumbsup:

My friend's daughter rode in a Regent until she was 9. One day, when she 8 years old, her friend made a comment about her riding in a "baby seat". The 8 year old promptly piped up "I ride in a harness because my Mommy loves me. Why don't you ride in one?" :eek::D
 

joolsplus3

Admin - CPS Technician
Nope, never been a problem... I know my dd in kindie was comparing seats with a neighbor kid, and it wasn't the harness, it was the pattern of the fabric they were talking about. I mean, once or twice they've mentioned that they want to be in a booster (on long skirt day) or out of a booster (when I'm 8!) but we just go back to discussing clearly that this is what we do, this is why we do it, period. (And a little brainwashing never hurt... you can gently point out how their friends aren't as safe as the could be, too bad their moms don't know better, but that's ok, most people don't know it, aren't we lucky we do?). I'm sure it helps a lot that my kids ride the bus to school (they got more seat comments from teachers up till 1st grade...who thought it hilarious that little sis was RF to age 4, and 'wow, i love this huge seat!' they said of the Regent...'the straps don't twist!')

:)
 

amy919

New member
I actually asked Kaylie about this just the other day. She is the only kid at her school her age that I have seen in a harnessed seat. I asked her if that bothered her and she said "no, their parents are stupid for letting them sit in a seatbelt. I'm not doing that." So, there are no issues here, other than the fact that she used the word "stupid", which is not allowed in our house :rolleyes:.
 

chelle80

New member
Dakota is the only still harnessed 7 yo around here. Yes, people think i'm crazy and usually have no problem telling me that,lol!

I just tell them that its been proven that it is a lot safer and that i will be happy to give them more info. Some want it and some just laugh and walk away. I was once told that i was stupid for doing it(i won't put reply because i do not want to offend anyone:) )
 

HEVY

New member
My daughters preschool is ages 3-6, no one uses carseats, or even boosters and seatbelts are rare. Well I shouldn't say no one but if you add all those maybe 3% use something, but not properly. I also wonder the same thing cause my dd actually asked me why she is in a carseat. The school has no care for the car safety issue and most parents get angry with you if you bring it up.
 

jdubsm

New member
It's a non issue here too. I haven't noticed any other kindergartners in harnesses when I pick up my girls but they don't seem to care. After witnessing an auto accident where a two year old was ejected because he was not in a proper seat(moved to a booster cause he was 30lbs like the box says) they realize how important a five point harness is. I often wonder how that little baby is. The image of him laying on the road is forever imbedded in my mind. :(
 

HEVY

New member
You reminded me of this woman who put her 1 yr old in the front seat without ANYTHING and decided AFTER the guard rails have gone down to cross a train crossing. Yes, the train hit the car. I wonder too what happen there, I know they both lived and I believe the mom was hurt more than the baby, in fact the baby wasn't hurt at all. Just wonder if the mother was charged.

Ah, I know off subject, I do that alot. :whistle:
 

bethng

Active member
How do your kids feel about it? Are any of their school friends still in harness? Do they get teased?
Has anyone shown crash test videos to a 5, 6 yo to get the point across? is that appropriate?

ETA: do you ever get approached by other moms/teachers about it? either to criticize or ask questions?

1) My dd (6.5 yrs) is in a DC still and will soon go to a regent. She is in 1st grade. Has never once said she didnt want to sit in a "baby seat". She has never been teased but then again we don't transport any kids her age. She has seen the crash test videos. It made a huge impact on her. I am not sure when I will allow her to go to a booster. Because of her small size she may fit the regent well into her middle school/Jr. high years but I am sure she will be mature enough to sit right in a booster before then and I am not going to force her to sit in the regent at that age.

2) I get approached all the time at work as I am seen as the "car seat expert" (which I am far from) but compared to most people there I know far more. They ask why ds is still rf'ing. Ask how someone as old as 6yo dd could fit in a car seat etc... No criticizing...just questions. I hope I have educated a few people.
 

Jeanum

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Staff member
It hasn't been much of an issue, probably because DD1 usually rides the school bus to and from school. The only time we've heard a comment from a peer was when a swimming lesson classmate peeked in my van. She told DD1 she needed a booster seat and apparently thought the Regent was DD2's carseat. When we explained DD1's seat was the Regent, the subject shifted to what color Crocs they were wearing, lol. DD1 also came home from a pre-K Safety Town class last summer and told me she learned she needed a booster seat in the car. I told her we had car safety covered for her with her harnessed seats, and she hasn't broached the subject again.
 

hkmomof5

New member
My dd2 is 7.5 and the only second grader around here that I have seen harnessed. She did moan a little when I got the radians, but has since realized how much safer she is. I openly explain to them all that if a race car driver wears one to be safe then they will wear a harness for as long as possible. People don't follow speed limits or stop at stop signs any more. I make sure they see how fast and dangerous people drive. I will get her a booster, either the monarch or monterey, for short trips with friends, possibly, but that's way off for now.
 

melniemi

New member
I am working on harnessing my boys 6 & 7 - one seat should be here today I think. My 6 yo doesn't mind a bit, my 7 yo is less excited, but oh well. No other kids ride in our van - we are full - so friends is a non issue. I've only seen 1 other kids in the 1st grade in a booster. The rest ride in seatbelts or nothing from pre-k on. They have seen the crash tests, but my biggest concern is that they don't sit still in their boosters and I will never forgive myself if something happens to them when I know how to keep them safer.
 

Defrost

Moderator - CPSTI Emeritus
I tell my kids if we get in a wreck I want them to live. My 13yo and 11 yo are riding in harnesses due to the seat belt situation in our car. They didn't really complain about it, but they were confused about why they needed it, so I explained it, and that was my final point - "I know this isn't as easy, and I know it's different, but if we get in a wreck, I want you to live."

I would hope they would pass that explanation along should anyone ever question them about it.
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
Joy hasn't got a clue that other kids her age are in boosters. LOL
For us it has ben the boys in high back boosters when other kids are in nothing at all. Most people get it though, since we have old cars with no head rests.
 

MsFacetious

New member
My friend's daughter rode in a Regent until she was 9. One day, when she 8 years old, her friend made a comment about her riding in a "baby seat". The 8 year old promptly piped up "I ride in a harness because my Mommy loves me. Why don't you ride in one?" :eek::D

This is SO what my kids are going to say.... I can already see it. :love: :whistle:

We got several comments about the rear facing thing too. I told people it was safer and left it at that. People think I'm nuts... that's fine... I won't be the one buying a casket for my 4 year old who was in just a seatbelt.

That is what is important to me.... people can say what they want. At the end of the day I know that MY kids are as safe as they can possibly be. That is all that matters. :thumbsup:
 

mommy4girls

Senior Community Member
Ilana is still harnessed. She loves her new car seat (it's pink, what's not to love ;)). We just crashed on Dec. 4th and she was happy to be in a 5pt. Kendra (7) was in a booster and has asked to be in a 5pt since but she's in a Monarch instead. I am planning on getting the Nautilus when it comes here and using that for Kendra. But, Ilana is comfortable being in her harness and will tell anyone that it's safer. Most of her friends are in backless boosters, but when I drive on field trips I use MY boosters and tell the kids I want them safer. Too bad i don't have enough hwh:whistle:
 

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