DC riding with other people-where do you draw the line?

Peony

Member
I'm just curious what others do. I'm feeling a bit sad tonight, I turned down a fun day for DD1 tomorrow because I just wasn't comfortable with the transportation that would be provided. I didn't even get all the full details, my gut told me no before hand, and I know this person very well. DD1 has ridden with them a couple times before, but they had a different car, less children... I don't trust the car, old and not reliable, I believe that one of the children are in a carseat that they have outgrown by slot height, it's supposed to be snowing tomorrow, they are going to an area where there are more drunk drivers, and I'd be 40 miles away.


DH totally agrees with me, he would not be comfortable with it either. I just got to thinking that DD1 is 5, we are going to probably start running in this more often now. DD1 already had prior plans so I just told the truth and said that we were busy already. Do you ever say anything, that you aren't comfortable with the arrangements, or just make excuses?
 
ADS

lovemyfamily

New member
Our kids have only ridden with us driving, my mom driving (which terrifies me-but DH and I had a weekend away and I couldn't tell her she had to stay in the house with them for 3 days), in a Super Shuttle and with a friend of DH's driving. I will not let them ride in other people's cars, will not rely on ANYONE else to install their carseats and would def. not let them ride with someone under the conditions you described.
 

BuckeyezRule

New member
That is a real toughie, especially since, according to your siggy, DD1 is 5 & only 33lbs. My kids have honestly only ridden w/ me or DH, or course, my parents, & my sister. They have not even ridden in DH's Dad's or Mom's cars. Lucas did, however, ride w/ DH's grandparents when he was 9 mos in Ark (I was 5 mos preggo w/ Belle by then & high risk preggo not allowed to fly, so DH took Lucas by himself) . They had what DH, Mike, called, a very old, scary carseat for Lucas. He didn't tell me this until AFTER he came home though! :mad: My Mom & sis know I only use 5 pts for both kids, & my parents have their own 2 that I bought them to use for the kids. I don't know that I'd trust anyone besides my parents & sis to drive my kids around. Of course, my parents have been my kids only babysitter too. Now that they are 1700 miles from me, it's tougher.:eek:
 

CaseyRN

New member
As of now DD has only ridden in myself, DH, or my parents car. She's ridden with my MIL/FIL driving our car, but I would never trust anyone (not even DH lol) to install their carseat without me being there. Usually we just always take my car b/c I hate to uninstall/reinstall. So basically I'm comfortable with immediate family driving her around in a carseat I've installed. Not sure how this will change as she gets older.
 

wildeyes

New member
i just be honest, blame my own neurosis, and tell them point blank dd1/2 doesnt ride with anyone unless they have taken me for a spin first. this comes after i have decided whether i think they are responsible enough to begin with.
yeah i'm mean. they will get over it lol
i have ppl in my own family i wont let drive me much less my kids, my dad is on the top of that list, even b4 he started going blind. (yes he still drives, thinks hes ok for short trips...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH) he caused a four car pileup on the interstate... in az where the speed limit is way to high, and he rear ended 1 car, which pushed another, up till 4 cars were in it. he didnt see that the traffic was stopped ahead. i dont think anybody was hurt tho, thank god.
 

tiggercat

New member
My kids ride with my inlaws, my aunt on occasion, and in the past a babysitter. I always install any 5 pt harnessed seats, boosters I just double check that they will be in a 3 pt belt (Greg knows how to buckle and make sure the belt are all correct in the belt guides, so I don't worry too much about him). I also instruct people how to work the harness and then randomly check up on people to be sure they are taking off coats and tightening the harness correctly.

I wouldn't let her go in the circumstances you described.
 

Suzibeck

Active member
My kids have ridden with several people, but if in seats, only if I install them and know the person is a good driver. My 11 yo has a bit more leeway now, it bugs me some, but I gotta let her go. She is only allowed to ride with adults however, no teen drivers.

I did actually have a well trusted and mature beyond her years teen babysitter drive my kids in my van one time. My oldest dd needed to be picked up from play practice and I preferred the baby sitter over another parent I didn't know. Her college age sister once had them all day and took them to a carnival at a local school. This family is like family to us and I trust these girls more than my family.

ETA: I would not let my kids go under circumsances like you describe. I listen to that check in my spirit when it happens, I believe I get that for a reason.
 

Stretchy Glue

New member
DD rides with me, dh, my sis, my parents, MIL, her sitter or my aunt and uncle. There is varying degrees of agreement with me, but dd is quite good at sticking up for herself. I've told other parents that I'd be happy to meet them somewhere, or just told dd she can't go. She's good at understanding since she goes to car seat checks with me and totally absorbs everything I say.
 

amy919

New member
My oldest has ridden with several family members, but only in our own car seats that we have installed. There is one family member that they are NOT allowed to ride with because my BIL refuses to see the need for car seats and their own kids haven't used anything but seatbelts since the age of 4. My youngest has only ever ridden with us and grandparents - again only in our own seats that we personally install.

I know that it will become more of an issue with Kaylie getting older, but my excuse is that she doesn't weigh enough to sit in a booster and I am NOT moving the Regent. We are more than happy to drive her anywhere she needs to go.

And I completely agree with going with your gut instinct. If something doesn't feel right, no way would I allow it.
 

mominabigtruck

New member
Well I always install my own seats so I let my kids ride with anyone as long as they're in my seats. Dallas rides in a compass booster at school and I showed his teacher how it works and I always remind him to lock his seatbelt.
 

Mama2J

Member
Mine hasn't ridden with anyone in quite a while without me being along. If we do go along in someone else's car, I move his seat into their car. Once he gets bigger/old enough for occasional booster use, I will move that into other cars, but would still prefer that he ride with me in our car.

I'd say if you are not comfortable with the situation, don't do it. I wouldn't in the circumstances you described.
 

JerseyGirl'sMama

New member
Even though my DD is only 11 months old, I think about this often.

So far she hasn't EVER rode with anyone other than DH or me and only in our own vehicle. I don't think I will ever be comfortable with her riding with someone else. I plan to stay home until she is in school, but I am re-thinking that one, lol. How will I be able to transport her back and forth if I have to be at work? Maybe I will have to have another baby so I will have more time before I go back to work- but then what will I do when DC #2 goes to school?! Agh!!!!!!!!!
 

Suzibeck

Active member
How will I be able to transport her back and forth if I have to be at work? Maybe I will have to have another baby so I will have more time before I go back to work- but then what will I do when DC #2 goes to school?! Agh!!!!!!!!!

Don't forget to consider what will happen when one of the dc is sick and you have to stay home from work or scramble to find sick child care. I plan on being home during the day until every child is old enough to care for herself, if needed. I am looking into becoming a respiratory therapist and working part time in the evenings or on weekends when dh can be home with the girls. It would bring in more $$, it would help dh better relate to the girls and it would give me a break. But, I would only do that part time as I want to be sure dh and I have time for our relationship as well.
 

jdchic3

New member
DD has ridden in mine, DHs, and each of my parents' vehicles, with any of us driving. I am always either there or at least the one to install the seat.Dh and my paretns are all very good about using her harness correctly and not letting her wear a cout or anything in her seat. I'm not sure who else I trust though. Oh, also I think DD and I rode in my SIL's car with her driving once when DD was really tiny. DS I think has been in mine, DHs and my mom's car. Again, I'm always the one who installs the seat. I would NOT let my either of my children ride in the situation you are describing though.
 

Mama2J

Member
So far she hasn't EVER rode with anyone other than DH or me and only in our own vehicle. I don't think I will ever be comfortable with her riding with someone else. I plan to stay home until she is in school, but I am re-thinking that one, lol. How will I be able to transport her back and forth if I have to be at work? Maybe I will have to have another baby so I will have more time before I go back to work- but then what will I do when DC #2 goes to school?! Agh!!!!!!!!!

You could try to find something part-time that is during school hours, so that you could still take her to school. I really don't want J to take a bus to school when the time comes, but I think with the time that school starts, I will still be able to take him. Of course I could change my mind by that time, but right now the thought of a bus scares me.
 

MsFacetious

New member
Only in emergencies have my kids ridden with anyone else. When Sadi was in the hospital for a week my parents took Ali to a family reunion. I installed the seat and my brother put her in everytime. Other than when Sadi was born and my family had Ali I think that is the only time.

I would trust my brother to do it. The seats are already installed I would absolutely trust him to put them in it. He KNOWS what he is doing. My parents are another story. (Yep, I trust my 17 year old brother more than my parents.)

Installing the seats is another story. I need to work with my brother on this so he can do it if needed. However we are going to put a set of Regents in a second vehicle hoping to not have to move them ever again. lol

If I can't go, my kids don't go 99% of the time.

If they do I install the seats and my brother puts the kids in.

They will NEVER ride with anyone other than my family. I do not trust anyone else because of the carseat issue.
 

Jeanum

Admin - CPS Technician Emeritus
Staff member
My kids have ridden only with me, DH, my parents, or my in-laws, in carseats I provided and installed in the vehicle. Edit: DD1 rides the school bus to and from school, no carseat involved, just compartmentalization and the big yellow bus. I didn't think to mention that when I posted earlier, d'oh.
 
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melniemi

New member
My kids have only ridden with me, dh, my parents, and my in-laws. They rode with my mom when I had the baby, but we installed the seats and made sure she knew how to use them.
My oldest went fishing with my dad, but in his booster and dh went with them.
My in-laws baby-sat once for the day and we left the van and keys "in case of an emergency" and they went shopping all over for the day - I was a nervous wreck, we had gone on a day trip furniture shopping and called to see how the kids were doing and they were shopping 45 min from home:eek:
I'm not a fan of others driving my kids. Same reason I don't send my kids to my in-laws in the summer (they want to take them for a week - kids don't want to go anyway:rolleyes:) They are great with the kids, just not so up on car seat safety and think I am ridiculous for taking off coats, rfing a 2.5 yo and so on.
 

Peony

Member
I was so glad today that I said no, it was very snowy, bad driving conditions. I got nervous on the way home from my mom's house and I've lived in CO most of my life.


DD1 has only ridden with a handful of people before, mostly just my parents and my sister. My parents have a MA that I've installed in their SUV and I've taught both of them how to reinstall it if need be. My sister always drives my van when she takes DD1 out. Last winter, DD2 was very ill for an extended amount of time, when she wasn't in the hospital, I was house bound with her for about 6 months. My mom and sister drove DD1 everywhere. The friend that wanted to take DD1 today, drove her twice when DD2 was hospitalized, but like I said it was a different car, no snow, etc... I had one other mom that took DD1 to preschool a couple times, I would install an MA in her truck, but other then that DD1 is always just with DH or I. And yes she really is 33 lbs and 5y, she is average height, just very skinny. ;) I wonder how many more years it will take her to hit 40 lbs!
 

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