Child Killed In Wreck; Father Charged

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Megan's Mom

New member

• Dec 20, 2007

• #1

I just saw this story on our local news and am sick about it....

http://www.wyff4.com/news/14897012/detail.html

One additional piece of info they mentioned on TV was that this happened around MIDNIGHT!!! I feel the worst for the mother of that sweet boy! :crying:

 

Mama!

New member

• Dec 21, 2007

• #2

Yet another preventable tragedy.

 

mommy2env

Active member

• Dec 21, 2007

• #3

Wow, horrible.

That is just plain old stupidity.

 

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jenmann21

Senior Community Member

• Dec 21, 2007

• #4

Oh that poor mom...I can't even imagine. :crying:

 

azgirl71

CPST Instructor

• Dec 21, 2007

• #5

How tragic! I feel very sorry for the mother of the child too.

 

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HEVY

New member

• Jan 21, 2008

• #6

While it is a sad situation it seems the fact that the dad is apparently a substance abuser and it seems safe to say the mom knew about his use which could be why they were separated, I think the mom should have a bit of responsibility here as well. It doesn't say when the dad told the mom he left the seat at home, he could have told her before he actually got in the car. But if she knew he was a user than she should never let him have the child alone, nevermind drive with him.

 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador

• Jan 21, 2008

• #7

I see what you are saying, but I don't think the mother had any say in this. If the courts allowed him to drive the child, there was nothing the mother could do.

 

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HEVY

New member

• Jan 21, 2008

• #8

The story is not complete, it doesn't say anything about court ordered visitation, it just said he was returning the child from a visit at midnight. That indicates a personal agreement and after hearing the person reporting the story it was clearer that he told her before he left he wasn't taking the seat. So she knew he was going without a carseat. He could have at least used a seatbelt but even that's unclear cause in the beginning of the story it showed a seatbelt that apparently disengaged from the truck, maybe he was wearing a seatbelt and it was faulty or just disengaged in which case same would have happened in a carseat. It also said cause he didn't have the carseat he had to sit in front. Why? That leaves me to assume the back seat had no seatbelt and they just used the seat without a seatbelt (sooo many people do that) She could have called the police, she could have told him no wait til morning or she could have gotten him herself. Don't get me wrong I'm in no way defending the dad it's just that there's always more to the story and people are quick to feel sorry for the person who was not physically there when in fact they are part to blame for making irresponsible decisions. Most courts don't award visitation to substance abusers without long-term proof they are no longer using or without a monitor and most courts don't approve late night pick-ups or returns.

 

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henrietta

Well-known member

• Jan 21, 2008

• #9

I think mom should be charged w/child endangerment and whatever else as well. She's not some helpless victim--she allowed him to go w/o proper restraint. And even if these were court ordered visits, she would not have been in trouble for refusing to allow her ds to go w/his dad w/o proper restraint. in fact, she could have called the police herself.

henrietta

 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador

• Jan 21, 2008

• #10

Without knowing more about the situation, I hesitate to criticize anyone except the father (of course).

The story just said it had been an overnight visit, right? So, it is possible that the child was picked up by a sober individual the morning before or the afternoon before, or whenever. It is possible that the mother didn't *know* that the father was intoxicated.

Unfortunately, the courts do occasionally award unsupervised visitation to known substance-abusers, especially if the parent's recent drug tests (if those have even been court-ordered) have been negative.

We really don't know much about what happened in this situation.




Even if the mom did have some control, chastising her NOW isn't going to bring her little boy back.

 

mommy4girls

Senior Community Member

• Jan 21, 2008

• #11

Patriot201 said:

Without knowing more about the situation, I hesitate to criticize anyone except the father (of course).

The story just said it had been an overnight visit, right? So, it is possible that the child was picked up by a sober individual the morning before or the afternoon before, or whenever. It is possible that the mother didn't *know* that the father was intoxicated.

Unfortunately, the courts do occasionally award unsupervised visitation to known substance-abusers, especially if the parent's recent drug tests (if those have even been court-ordered) have been negative.

We really don't know much about what happened in this situation.




Even if the mom did have some control, chastising her NOW isn't going to bring her little boy back.

Click to expand...

Patriot's right. The mom very well may not have had any right to refuse the dad. A lot of judges (especially where I live) give parents visitation despite past substance abuse. In my state father's have rights even when they have a history of physical abuse:thumbsdown: (Montel even did a show on it). My cousin had to go to his dad's even with documented proof of abuse So, let's not crucify the mother. For all we know her hands were tied. Unless I know otherwise I'm assuming positive intent to her. She has to be going through hell right now.

 

Mama!

New member

• Jan 21, 2008

• #12

I just went in and looked at the pics.

On pic 8, the official said "He did not even look like he was hurt. But when you look at the autopsy you see the massive damage the child sustained"

THIS RIGHT HERE is the "invisible" injuries we're always talking about that people don't get. The Internal decapitation, the organ damage. Its all so maddening. Look at that picture.

 

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Coco_crispy

New member

• Jan 21, 2008

• #13

What a horrible tragedy.

 

Defrost

Moderator - CPSTI Emeritus

• Jan 22, 2008

• #14

HEVY said:

he told her before he left he wasn't taking the seat. So she knew he was going without a carseat.

Click to expand...

It may not have done her any good. My friend had a major problem with her ex showing up to pick up her kids without carseats. She called the police repeatedly and was always told the same thing - that it was a custody issue and they couldn't do anything about it. The only way she could stop him would be to refuse to let him take the children, and call the police and request assistance with a domestic dispute. At that point the police would not allow him to take the children due to the lack of proper restraints, but if she called after he'd left, they would not respond. My co-worker had the exact same problem, only his ex was picking up the child while drunk.

This may vary from state to state, but it's entirely possible that even if the mother knew what he'd done, there was nothing she could do about it. Too many parents make false calls about these things, so the police don't respond.

 

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jrar8699

New member

• Jan 22, 2008

• #15

I do not understand why anyone could drive with their child unrestrained let alone doing it while under the influence of a controlled substance! Come on ppl how idiotic can you be! That is just rediculous!:twocents:

 

amyg530

Active member

• Jan 22, 2008

• #16

i agree that theres probably nothing she could have done. and we dont know when he told her that he forgot his seat, he could have told her after the wreck happened. for all we know shes could have been doing everything in her power to keep the dad away from her child but sometimes the courts dont work

 

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HunternChase'smom

Guest

• Jan 23, 2008

• #17

That is so sad.

 

AdventureMom

Senior Community Member

• Jan 23, 2008

• #18

Wow, that is just awful...

I agree with the others - no judgement should be passed on the mom, especially since we're only privy to the few details in the news. We don't know if she knew the seat was at home until after the dad got on the road, or after the accident, or before he left home. Also, as far as the midnight issue, not everyone has the same lifestyle as those who put their kids to bed at 7:30 each night. It doesn't mean they're bad parents - it's just a different lifestyle. Maybe not the best way of doing things, but not necessarily "bad". :twocents:

Oh, the coronor got his point across, though, about it being a parent's responsibility to make a child sit in a carseat or seatbelt, whether they like it or not.