How do you tell people they are using their car seat incorrectly?

DH, DS, and I were leaving Thanksgiving dinner at about the same time SIL was. I opened up the car door to say good-bye but also to check the car seat usage. I had a feeling that they would probably be used wrong. I knew her DS who is 2.5 is riding in some sort of Eddie Bauer seat and I thought I remember reading that there is an Eddie Bauer seat that kids grow out of early. I open up the car door and notice that my nieces shoulders are above the top slots so I told SIL that she was too big for the car seat. I then look over and see that my nephew (who is in the Eddie Bauer seat) is too big for the slots that are being used too (I don't know if these are the top slots or not since it looked like there maybe fabric covering some slots) so I say something to her again. I didn't want to go super checking her seats but it looked like the harness (at least on my niece) was a little too loose. She said that she would have her friend (who is a car seat tech) check it out. When we got into our car, DH said that I seemed like the car seat police and that it seemed like I only looked into the car to check their seats. I told him that I kind of did since I expected them to be used wrong. I'm disappointed in my SIL though. She has a friend who is a tech but still isn't using her seats properly.

Is there a better way to approach people to help them when they are using car seats incorrectly?

I'd like to know this too? I know I have just flat out told ppl that I noticed this or that, and mention to them, that they probably just didn't know that it was happening, or wasn't safe.
I noticed one of my friends was using latch and seatbelt, and told her she shouldn't, and she genuinely believed it was safer to use both. I told her the facts, it hadn't been tested, and said, 'and i wouldn't want vicky (her dd) to be a crash test child"

I first try to state something positive about the situation ("Oh, I love the cover you chose for this carseat" or "Your car is so clean" or "Your kids are so well behaved in their seats"). Then, I indicate that I have used similar seats and experienced whatever problem I see (even though I might never have had the similar problem) and that I learned from a tech that it was suppose to be different. Doing that seems to make the other person not so defensive because they think I have had similar errors and am just trying to share a similar experience.

If it's someone who I know, someone who knows I'm into carseats, I'll do exactly what you did with the exact same reaction from my DH.

My SIL was here this week. Her nearly 10 month old is RFing in an EFTA. I know she knows how to install it, I showed her how, so that I wasn't worried about. It looked good and she must have remembered to lock the seatbelt as it doesn't tip over (though she *could* do a center LATCH install I believe, it's a 2004 Mazda 6. I'd have to look it up). However, his clip was too low and the straps too loose. So right before they left I simply mentioned the pinch test to her. I know she tries to do well, she's just ignorant.

We even got talking about ERFing and I think she was going to turn him at a year. Why oh why would someone buy an EFTA and turn a kid who will probably be 24 pounds FFing at a year???? Way to waste 11 pounds! Anyway, I showed her this video and she looked really upset and troubled watching it. I don't know if it was upset that I was pushing (we got to it by a mistake printed somewhere that said babies had 94 bones that reduced to 206, which I said no, they had 300, she asked what bones, I told her the vertebrae were some of them because they started as three, I showed her a picture, mentioned that's why it was so important they rear face as long as possible, etc.) even slightly, or that it gave her a bad taste in her mouth. I'd like to see the latter, but my guess is her ped will tell her he's over 20 pounds at his 1 year and she'll flip him. We'll see. Hopefully not. I've made my say, and from here on out unless she asks I'm not going to say anything.

Wendy

I am a new Mommy... at the risk of sounding mean I must say that people in general are just lazy. It is not hard to educate yourself on your child's safety and follow through each and every time. Also, people tend to think "it won't happen to me." I find myself wanting to tell strangers of their errors (not to be mean, but to help out the child) but often don't because I don't know how to approach it.

I agree that it is best to start off with a compliment. Then try to relate how you also made a mistake or two along the way, but someone helped you out and told you of your errors.

On a side note, everytime we get our DD's carseat inspected our family thinks we're paranoid. They are ignorant and don't realize 8 out of 10 are installed incorrectly. Why wouldn't you want to be safe than sorry? Keep up the good work, I say!

"What a cutie pie! S/he is just adorable! Don't forget to snug up the harness before you leave - I got all the way home once with it loose and felt just AWFUL!
By the way, I'm a car seat tech, here's my card. I do free private seat checks since the county doesn't do them any more. Let me know if I can help in any way.
You have a great day, and keep that gorgeous baby safe!"

JerseyGirl'sMama said:

On a side note, everytime we get our DD's carseat inspected our family thinks we're paranoid. They are ignorant and don't realize 8 out of 10 are installed incorrectly. Why wouldn't you want to be safe than sorry? Keep up the good work, I say!

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Welcome! Out of curiosity, how many times do you get your DD's seat inspected? You should only need to get it inspected once, maybe once each time you switch from the infant seat to a RFing convertible, then FFing, then a booster. If you're having it inspected and the firemen or whoever you go to aren't showing you how to do it yourself, then they're not doing their job and make sure they do show you. If you get it inspected and every time they tell you it's fine, then stop going, you obviously know what you're doing! LOL Hang out here and you'll know more than 95% of the firemen/police techs out there.

Wendy

:yeahthat:

Everyone has some great suggestions!

I just use my gut instinct at that given moment. First, I take a deep breath and bite my tongue, from what I *was* first going to say. Just try to stay positive. I like the complimenting idea! I also say something like "you know most people don't know this, I certainly didn't, but (insert carseat correction here)".

That's the whole reason I became a tech...that way when I do say something I can start it with "I am a Carseat Safety Technician" Then I'm just doin' my job right? Can't get mad at me for that

JerseyGirl'sMama said:

I am a new Mommy... at the risk of sounding mean I must say that people in general are just lazy. It is not hard to educate yourself on your child's safety and follow through each and every time. Also, people tend to think "it won't happen to me." I find myself wanting to tell strangers of their errors (not to be mean, but to help out the child) but often don't because I don't know how to approach it.

I agree that it is best to start off with a compliment. Then try to relate how you also made a mistake or two along the way, but someone helped you out and told you of your errors.

On a side note, everytime we get our DD's carseat inspected our family thinks we're paranoid. They are ignorant and don't realize 8 out of 10 are installed incorrectly. Why wouldn't you want to be safe than sorry? Keep up the good work, I say!

Click to expand...

:yeahthat:
Except for the getting the seat inspected, there was a seat check in our town back in may, but DS1 was outgrowing the carrier rapidly, and we hadn't got his convertable yet, so i didn't see the point in having another fight with DH about the seat.
I have a friend who has the 'it won't happen to me' attitude, and I would refuse to drive her anywhere, unless her DD was in a legal seat (she's not) but of course I don't drive, so it wouldn't happen

We have only have our DD's carseats inspected a total of 3 times.

We had her infant seat inspected before she was born. We had installed it after reading seat manual and car manual, and they inspected and reinstalled it (we had a different car then and were using one tether from each side, so they reinstalled using center belt.) Then when she was born, we took it in again just to make sure she was in correctly (we got an A+.) We just got our Signo on Friday and installed then took it in again to make sure (again A+.) Yea for us!! So we aren't really paranoid.

They did show us how to install correctly the first time, and this last time we had a tightly rolled towel to level the Signo, and they gave us a free noodle to use instead (a lot easier for future installs!)