Do you feel like this sometimes?

Ali

New member
I have several wonderful friends whom I work with. We are also great friends outside of work. Of the 6 of us, 3 have DDs younger than my DD. I am made to feel like a freak because I kept DD RF for so long. I have shown them the crash test videos, shown them the research, etc all in what I feel are very non-confrontational ways.

I stopped bringing up carseats around them because I am told I am a fanatic and that they have friends, sisters, etc who turned their kids at 12 and 20 and they were "fine." They bring it up though.

I am so frustrated. Why do we even try?

I don't understand how a parent can KNOW definitively, that their child is not safe (or the safest possible) yet still do it (turn child FF, put in a booster FAR too young, etc.
 
ADS

Suzibeck

Active member
Yes, I hear you! I made some progress with a few people after a 3 yo boy in our town was critically injured last year when his rearfacing brother was unharmed. The thing is, most kids are fine. Most people don't get in that severe of accidents ever. But, if I ever get in one, I want my kids protected to the best of my ability. People just think it will never happen to them. :( I just pray it never does.
 

djma

New member
Yes! My best friend made fun of me yesterday. She offered to take my ds2 home but teased him that he would have to ride in a girly seat (she has a girly crappysport) - but that he would finally get to ride ff. She has twin girls, 3weeks YOUNGER than my ds2. I have told her the benefits of rf, she doesn't care. I was saying that I bought him a new seat (triumph advance) for more leg room and she replied - VERY sarcastically - "how nice of you." :(

I don't know why I even try sometimes!
 

canadianmom2three

Active member
We have some 'friends' like that too, they take every opportunity to remind my DD that when she is 8 she won't have to ride in that "thing" anymore (her DD has been in a backless since forever...I've explained to her why my DD rides in the hb, and why she will continue to do so even after she is 8). She is also constantly trying to undermine me when DD rides with them by pulling out her older son's old backless and saying DD can ride in that if she wants, when she knows that I want her in the hb, and am usually in the process of getting it out of my van so they can take it. If that isn't enough, she teases DS about his baby seat, and asks him all the time when he is going to be big enough to ride in a booster...he already is big enough, he's just not. I've told her why, and even DS has told her why, she just doesn't get it...at all:eek:
Really I've long since given up on educating them about their skinny minnie dd in the backless, at this point I'd just be happy if they laid off my kids.
 

littleangelfire

Well-known member
My few friends haven't been outright derisive - yet - but I don't spend a lot of time with them either. But the other moms at church didn't want to hear 2 words about it when I was SOOO excited to get a Regent from KDM and they just kept saying 'he's so big just put him in a booster'. NONE of the other 3 year olds at church are still harnessed. And at least one only rides in a backless booster. A couple of the 2 year olds are already in boosters. Its just ridiculous. And the most common excuse? Its more convenient. All these moms have at least one other child, and they think its too much of a pain to have to put all of them in a harness.

but - I honestly don't take it too much to heart. I proudly butt heads with them frequently over parenting issues. My son still sits in church with me during the service, b/c he doesn't want to go to his nursery school class. He has never wanted to - and I always vehemently disagreed with crying it out, so I will continue to wait to put him in there until he's ready to go. I believe strongly in attachment parenting, and cosleeping, and extended breastfeeding and babywearing and nursing on demand and lots of other things that all these women think are just too much trouble or spoiling children. I say I proudly disagree b/c somewhere down the line I figure someone just might change their mind or be a little bit educated if I keep sharing the facts about all these things. For example: All these women breastfed their babies b/c they know how important and good it is for them. But they seem to think there's some magical thing that happens at 6-12 months that makes the 'goodness' stop. :) Breastfed at 2 years, yuck! LOL So I'll keep sharing. I do have a few friends who will be needing to get new car seats soon and they've promised to let me help them. :) So that's something at least.
Amy
 

JessicaS

New member
I don't understand how a parent can KNOW definitively, that their child is not safe (or the safest possible) yet still do it (turn child FF, put in a booster FAR too young, etc.

I know! I am a newbie around here. Luckily Wendy got to me on a local message board when Anna was ~10 months old, or she might have been forward-facing after her birthday. The first post of hers that I read about ERFing with links to facts and videos convinced me on the spot. I CANNOT BELIEVE the other women on that message board can sit there and read all of that, and still turn their kid around at a year. It blows my mind. :confused: And she makes a LOT of posts, every opportunity she can. They've seen her posts. They have NO excuse.

Do they really NOT CARE? Well I was SO confused about it, that a friend of mine started a topic about it in our "sandbox" for controversial discussions. The theme was basically, "Now that you've been educated about ERFing, why the heck would you turn your 1-year-old forward facing?" Every single person who was on the dark side, said they did so because they "had their reasons." I said something like, "Yeah, superficial reasons maybe." And the freaking ADMIN gave me a warning for that, and said, "How dare you make such a sweeping generalization!" And went on to defend herself for turning her kid around. Yeah, I'm so sure ALL of those kids scream in the car BECAUSE they're rear-facing, yeah right. (They scream because you're horrible parents.) :whistle:

OK, done here, sorry. I'm still a newbie so this still confuses me, too. Most of the posters here are used to this by now, I'm sure!
 

Ali

New member
Thanks everyone. I feel better now.

I still don't understand how a parent can make the choice to FF when they know their child could be safer. The convenience factor doesn't make sense to me at all. I found it far easier to put DD in her seat RF and it was actually easier to hand her things (which I rarely do) RF.
 

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