For those with 3 or more kids....

We right now have the two girls....Ali is 2 years old, born February 5, 2003. Peanut is 13 months, born December 11, 2003. They are ten months and six days apart...and although I planned them close I didn't think they'd be that close! Birth control doesn't tend to work in our family....half our family has problems getting pregnant, and the other half can't stop getting pregnant! We have family members that have gotten pregnant on the pill (both of my girls are pill babies!) and the Depo shot, IUD, Norplant, ect. I obviously have not been on the pill because it didn't work. I had an IUD for a while but it caused problems so I got it taken out eventually. I didn't want to because it was working. I have been getting the Depo shot as well, and that seems to be the one with the least side effects, but I only got it for one time, so a 3 month period of time...I was on the pill that long before I got pregnant. So there is still no guarantees.

I have never been sure enough that we are done to get my tubes tied or have a hysterectomy or anything. I've never been the type to be baby hungry. Before my girls were born I raised my neice for 17 months, but I never wanted kids of my own. Then I got pregnant. After having Ali I knew that we were supposed to have another one shortly afterwards. Before Ali was born I had planned on waiting at least 3 years in between. But I knew they were supposed to be close.

Since Peanut was born I have had my moments of being "baby hungry" but then I just think of getting up at night, ect and it goes away. Looking at the Companion and Snugrides for my SIL has not helped either. However I get past that when one of the girls pukes on me, or has an explosive diaper, or bites each other, starts fighting, ect.

Here's the problem. We just bought a new house. It is plenty big for up to 4 kids....which was originally how many we planned on having. I know I am not pregnant, and I am not "baby hungry". But I just have this weird feeling that we are not done yet. And that the next baby will be a winter baby as well. I also have very realistic dreams that usually mean something. I had dreams right before I got pregnant with both girls, and knew both times it meant I was going to get pregnant...despite being on the pill and not trying either time. I also knew they would be girls. I knew they would both have special needs as well.

Last night I had a dream that I had a baby boy....and as far as I could tell from the dream he was healthy. This makes me nervous because A) it doesn't appear we can MAKE boys! and B) I don't know if we are ready for another one. If it was going to be here tomorrow I would definitely say no. If it was another year...that would probably be okay. I'm just getting ready to start potty training Ali, so I would only have two in diapers at the most, and that would be for not very long.

I'm just wondering from those who have more than 2 kids....I hear it isn't as hard going from 2 to 3 as it is going from 1 to 2...and we had no problem going from 1 to 2. However, Ali wasn't real mobile when Peanut was born, so it was a little closer to having twins than having a toddler and a newborn. But with two running around.....is it even realistic?? Or should DH and I live in seperate houses until the kids are older!

Just for perspective...if I were to get pregnant this month, I would be due Novemberish or Decemberish. However, with my track record the baby would probably arrive in September or October. Ali would be 32-34 months. Peanut would be 22-24 months. They would definitely both be walking on their own, and at least one will be potty trained. (Likely both will be close.) I'm sure at least one will be out of the crib as they are both starting to try and climb out. Obviously if another baby didn't arrive until Spring, which I would MUCH prefer....then Ali would be 37-40 months and Peanut would be 27-30 months. Both girls medical issues have started to calm down, but obviously there is also the concern that another child would probably inherit all the same things...Asthma, reflux, allergies, sleep apnea, seizures, ect. Although by now most of it is fairly routine and we are used to it...so it isn't quite as big of a deal as it was when the girls were born.

Obviously there is a carseat issue here...I already have one girl on the third row bench, so it wouldn't be anything new to have a carseat back there and then have two on the second row bench. But how realistic is it to have 3 kids rear facing for the next few years? Going by family history my girls won't hit 55lbs (the limit on the Two Way Plus) until they are at least 5, possibly longer. It is possible I'll turn them before they hit that limit but not real likely. So even if another baby didn't arrive until next Spring...I would have 3 rear facing for at least 2-3 years.

This is bothering me...it isn't like I am baby hungry and want another one...it's more like this nagging feeling that it's out of my control and I better prepare because another one is coming. I'm not like dreading the idea, just nervous about whether or not it is reasonable to even think about.

And I KNOW I am not pregnant right now.

Any thoughts or suggestions??? I could just hear my parents if we ended up with another one, they would think we were INSANE.

And to think I never wanted kids!

I think you are thinking about too much. My kids are 4.5 years, 2.5 years and 7 months. I don't think you can predict when a child will walk, be potty trained, be FFing, etc. Children do things on their own time. My two older girls were both potty trained fully around 2 years of age. My oldest 1 potty trained in 2-3 DAYS, while my middle child began around 17 months, and finally was trained at 26 months. She just did it on her own time, and we never pressed the issue-if she wanted to use the potty we let her.

Only you and your husband know the right time to have another child. I don't find it any more difficult to put a child in RFing than FFIng, so I wouldn't personally worry about that. I'm sure the girls will be climbing in their seats and putting their harnesses around themselves and perhaps even buckling themselves before they outgrow the seats RFing.

I also tend not to worry about the size of a house. Kids don't need their own rooms, nor do they need all the fanciest things. They need and want the love of their parents, regardless of all the other "stuff".

If you and DH think that now is the time to have another child, go for it. It the timing doesn't feel right, then put it off. Only you know your situation, and what you can handle. For me 0 to 1 was the hardest adjustment.