OMG - My friend has her 2 year-old in a booster

ktmo

New member
I can't even believe it. Well I can, because she is who she is but come on, a two-year-old in a booster (32 months, maybe 28 pounds). When she told me it, all I said was "He will DIE if you are in an accident." I didn't even know what to say or how to be nice about it. I told her it has me shaking that he is not in a harnessed seat. I told her over and over that he needs to be in his Marathon. She says that he will scream if she doesn't let me sit in his sisters seat. I told her that I would take a screaming child, over a dead one. I know that I was harsh, but I couldn't hold back.

She has been telling me for a little while that he is getting out of his seat and will come walking up to her in the front seat (they have a mini-van). I would offer suggestions and finally today, I asked specifically how he was getting out, was he loosening the straps, then wiggling out or just unbuckling. She fesses up and say that he has been wanting to sit in his sisters seat, SO SHE HAS BEEN LETTING HIM!! I could have screamed. It is bad enough that her 5 year-old, probably not even 40 pounds is in a booster who doesn't buckle up until they are down the road, but to let her two-year-old. He should really be rear-facing!!! My DD has 5 pounds on him easily.

I can only pray that they are not in an accident. I have shared with her over and over the benefits of rear-facing and have shared my knowledge of car-seats, but she just doesn't want to parent.

Sorry for the rambling, I just can't believe that she can't be the adult and make him sit in his car seat.

Katie
 
ADS

Morganthe

New member
I'm absolutely speechless with shock and amazement that a parent can be so utterly ignorant of their child's safety. :thumbsdown:
 

ktmo

New member
I just sent her an e-mail and probably will talk to her this afternoon. I sent her the Kyle video. I know that I shared that with her before. I think she ended up keeping her DD harnessed a little while longer because of it. Not as long as I would have liked, but longer. At the end of our conversation she did say that she would put her DD's booster in the back, when DD is not with them, so he can't see it, and want to sit in it. I so hope that she does.

Thanks for your help and support. I am just sick to my stomach thinking about what could happen to him. She knows how I feel about car-seats, and I have shared with her everything I have found, but she just doesn't want to fight the battle. I pray they are safe.

Katie
 

keri1292

Well-known member
My kids WANT to have ice cream and candy for breakfast, go to Wal-Mart naked, go to bed at 1am, use steak knives, ride their bikes in the street, and go ot Disneyworld everyday.:rolleyes:

But, it's not gonna happen! If she can't discipline her 2 year old, how will she handle a 15 year old? :confused:

Is this illegal in your state? Maybe that would get him to age 4. The minimums may be your best shot, sad as it is. :(
 

ZephyrBlue

New member
My kids WANT to have ice cream and candy for breakfast, go to Wal-Mart naked, go to bed at 1am, use steak knives, ride their bikes in the street, and go ot Disneyworld everyday.

But, it's not gonna happen! If she can't discipline her 2 year old, how will she handle a 15 year old?

Is this illegal in your state? Maybe that would get him to age 4. The minimums may be your best shot, sad as it is.

:yeahthat:
 

ktmo

New member
Yep, I think it is the bigger issue of discipline. She just doesn't want to set rules. She lets her 5 year-old stay up to whenever, even on a school night. She lets her kids set the rules. She gives into every whine or tantrum. I have shared with her all the information, told her the importance of it, lead by example, but to no avail. I'll keep trying because there is a life at stake.

If she were to have probably restrained her oldest in a five-point harness until she is 40 pounds, she would have this issue, because her DD would still be harnessed. Ugh....

Katie
 

elle7715

Member
My kids WANT to have ice cream and candy for breakfast, go to Wal-Mart naked, go to bed at 1am, use steak knives, ride their bikes in the street, and go ot Disneyworld everyday.:rolleyes:
But, it's not gonna happen!

EXACTLY! Giving in on something as important as car seat safety doesn't make you a 'fun' parent, it makes you stupid and irresponsible. DD pitched a fit today because she didn't want to sit in her car seat. She has issues with even sitting still, so being restrained isn't her favorite part of the day. So I walked her back inside and told her she had to stay home with DH if she couldn't sit nicely. She said she wanted to go so we walked back out and I buckled her in without a peep. Luckily today I had the option of leaving her home, although I might end up 'pretending' to have that option another day.
To the OP, good job on standing up to your friend!
 

Morganthe

New member
Yep, I think it is the bigger issue of discipline. She just doesn't want to set rules. She lets her 5 year-old stay up to whenever, even on a school night. She lets her kids set the rules. She gives into every whine or tantrum. I have shared with her all the information, told her the importance of it, lead by example, but to no avail. I'll keep trying because there is a life at stake.

Katie

That's really sad to read. :( Her kids are going to be as out of control and rebellious as someone who has a totalitarian household.

I really feel sorry for those kids if she can't ever develop a backbone. And if she cannot do it now when they're little and easily manuevered, there's no hope as they get older. Anytime she (weakly) attempts to set limits, they'll push them because that's the habit -- and she'll easily give up.

She needs serious help to figure out why and how she can't be a good parent. But that's not your responsibility, its hers. Because part of being a parent is saying "no" when it's your child's best interest.

Parenting isn't just raising children... it's developing children to eventually become independent healthy adults. They're only in our care for just a short time. It's up to us to make that gift as productive as possible.

Sorry, went on a soapbox kick there. :eek:
 

michelle3802

New member
I have this same problem with a friend of mine. Her 2 yo son has been in a backless booster for months. I've tried to tell her, but she works at BRU and the reps from the manufacturers have her convinced that a booster is just as safe as a car seat and that it's tested at 20 pounds so it's perfectly safe for her 30 pound 2 year old. She was upset that I returned the booster she recommended for my DD and was shocked that I turned a 3 yo back to RF.

I finally had to tell myself that I tried and that's all I can do, but what really gets to me is that she's management at BRU and trains her staff to advise parents about car seat selection. I think it is irresponsible for a company to allow their employees to give car seat advise without any formal training.
 

Niea

New member
My DD is 30 mos and 30lbs and I can't even imagine her in a booster. She'd be climbing out of it, standing on the seat, crawling around, you name it. But that's not to say the booster would be safe even if she could sit still. I just don't understand how someone could even think that is remotely safe. ??

But I totally agree, it sound like discipline is the heart of the issue. If my DD had a choice, she'd probably opt to not be harnessed either. . .but she doesn't have a choice. I explain my stance, then make her get in. Sometimes staying home with DH is an option, other times it's not. And when it isn't. . .well too bad. She'll throw a toddler tantrum but she'll get over it. . .and at least she'll be safe in the process.
 

Mama!

New member
Ugh. Nothing pains me more than to see a tiny 22 lb 2 yr old in a BPB. I saw it again just the other day. The belt was loose and everything.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
Parenting isn't just raising children... it's developing children to eventually become independent healthy adults. They're only in our care for just a short time. It's up to us to make that gift as productive as possible.

:yeahthat::soapbox:

I'm pretty democratic -- Leila gets a choice in pretty much everything (a real choice, not something like "do you want to do what I say or do you want to get punished") ... but she also knows that I am responsible for making the health + safety decisions: I teach her why I reach the conclusion I do & use "what if" scenarios so that she can think up her own imaginary conclusions JIC she finds herself in a situation without me, but in the end it's all based on my teaching her how to reach the right/safe choice.

*SIGH*
 

LeeLi

New member
It's ridiculous to have a 2 year old in a booster, but at some point there is nothing one can do to change someone's mind.
I do my best to educate the people in my life, but I also know at some point it is up to them. I take solace in the fact that everyone who rides in my car(children, adults, even dogs) are properly restrained at all times.

Like papooses I believe in giving children as much choice as is practical and safe. But as the owner of MY car, it is my choice to only drive it when everyone is properly restrained.

Learning to say 'no' and explain why is an important part of being a parent IMHO.
 

bethng

Active member
how in the world are these people keeping their 2 year olds IN the booster? Mine would be all over the place. NO WAY would he just sit there. He would be having the time of his life climbing all over the van. wow
 

Defrost

Moderator - CPSTI Emeritus
Would she read a book? Kids Are Worth It is great for parents who can't find the line between permissive and too strict.
 

wondering1

New member
Ya know, she can share information with her kids on why they want to ride in a proper safety seat and why they should not move the car until everyone is properly buckled. Obviously, this is probably over the head of the 2 year old in some ways but the 6 year old should "get it" and then she could encourage her younger sibling to be safe and even report if there are problems with safety in the back of the car.

This would be more in line with her parenting style and still net the desired outcome of everyone being safer.
 

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