WWYD (FF before one year)

A friend of mine bought a TA ysterday for her 11.5 month old son. FINALLY! He's 25 pounds and has been in an Evenflo buckt up until now. She knew he was too big, she just didn't want to buy another seat.
So, she called me from Target and asked me what seat to buy, I told her a TA because it's in her price range and a great seat for her needs.
She told me today she wanted me to check it for her and get it in tighter. She said the top strap wasn't tight enough, I told her she shouldn't be using tha anyway, it's only for FF. She told me he IS FF now. "He'll be a year old in two weeks, it's fine. Besides, he's 25 pounds." Oka, she knows it's safer, she just doesn't care. Not in a cold hearted doesn't care about her kid ay, just an air headed "it'll never matter" way. I love the girl, but she is a bit of a bubble head.

Here's the issue... I KNOW it's wrong. She never locked the seatbelt with the old seat and forbade me to do it (why do people do that?) His straps were never tight (I tried to tighten them once... it really was almost impossible). She loves this seat and is so happy she can keep the straps tight, she just wants to make sure it's in right. She's of the opinion that it's safe enough at a year old, her pediatrician told her it was fine, it wouldn't be legal if it was dangerous, etc. Her mind it made up, she wants the kid FF.

His birthday is in two weeks. My options are either to fix the seat for her now and make sure he's as safe as he can be in the FF seat... or not. I could tell her that it's illegal to FF before a year and I cannot legally assist her and will not do it, but will do it for her on his first birthday. Except then I might lose the chance to do it altogether.

My nephew was FF before a year... we all remember that fiasco I'm sure. With the situation I chose to install the seat FF correctly, because I knew it was either FF with a good install or FF with a bad one. This is pretty much the same, unfortunately.

I'm stoked she got the TA, though. It'll do very well for her needs.

Yes, unfortunately I think in this situation I'd help her install it correctly, FF. It's a case of the child being safER than he was before, KWIM?

Ugh. That's a crappy situation. BUT- I'd install it correctly for her FF. If the choice is between her installing the seat improperly and you installing it correctly, I think it's a no-brainer. Some people try so very hard to get those last couple of pounds RF, even buying another seat, and others turn their kids around before 1 year. :hitselfonhead: You do the best you can do, and sometimes that's all you can do Splash.

I agree with Scatterbunny and Zephyrblue. The other option is she's just going to do the install herself, and you'll probably be able to do it far better. Seems like you've just got to try to make the best out of a not great situation.

Yep, ITA with the pp's.

(And I'd just lock the belt without her realizing it... if she's super airheaded, she'll notice it after the fact & not be bothered to fix it since she likes how tight the seat is. )

ITA agree with the others. I would lock the belt too, and hope she doesn't notice. Or, if she does notice, maybe she won't figure out how to undo it? Crank it down and tighten the tether. If she is keeping the straps tight, that's about all you can do, unfortunately. This is one of those damned if you do and damned if you don't.

My SIL turned my niece at 9 months old. She flipped her back around at 10.5 months old when I freaked out on her. Flipped her back on her 1st birthday.

She has 3 Boulevards I gave her for her SUV, her husbands car and her mother's suv. They move the freaking seats constantly. Her straps are often loose enough to get her out without undoing them. She doesn't tether it, just routes the seatbelt through, or latch without tightening.

I would be THRILLED if she would let me install the damn things and leave them there! I would feel much better if they were at least being used correctly. (Despite her not having HUGS and using it before she hits 20lbs, ect.)

I would take what you can get... just help her do it. Even though it would make me physically ill to do it...

I'd do it... I don't think of it the same as I would for, say, a 9mo old... but in general... the key thing is that he'd be safer than he would be otherwise.

I'm confused though about why she wouldn't want you to lock the belt.

Hey... does she have latch?

She just didn't want to touch her seat PERIOD before. Because I told her onceit needed to be locked and she had been "I KNOW we're doing it right, no need for you to touch it." And then I pointed out a major wrong, and she got pissed. She doesn't have an aversion to the belt locking... I don't think.

Yeah, LATCH outboard, tether and belt center. I'm sure she'll want him center, so I'll do the belt.

*warning on*

She needs to grow up and grow a brain as well.

Could you maybe hog tie her to a chair and hold her eyes open and force her to watch some crash test footage?

Really, being lazy and stupid is no excuse for knowingly endangering your 11.5 month old BABY who depends on you to keep them safe.

**warning over**

Yeah, I'd probably install it FF as solid as I could, all the while lecturing on RF merits

Ugh, no advice from me Splash, just comisseration.

I'm not really sure what to do with two of my friends. I've explained to them how tight the harness needs to be & where the chest clip needs to be, yet they still have the harnesses loose enough to hang down over the shoulders eek & belly clips. Do I repeat myself? Or do I just keep my mouth shut now. It's their kid & their choice on how much effort they want to put into keeping their kids safe.

I gave my friend a seat because it still had life and the seat she was using was atrocious. She asked me to install it in the front seat of her van. I said no. I just couldn't knowingly put her child in harms way. If she chose to do so then that was her choice. I'm sure it wasn't installed correctly.

Another time I told a friend that she would have to take her car because I wasn't installing her seat in my car with the straps as twisted and loose as they were.

I understand the other side of the issue but for me I wasn't willing to take that chance. I think people just assume it won't happen to them but I know that's just naive. The flip side is, what happens if the persons in a wreck and the child is decapitated. For me I wouldn't want to find out if I could live with that.

Either way the outcome could be bad. I just feel like I have to stick to what I know is right.

karen

I have a frien who did the exact same thing exfept her DD was 11 months old 20 lbs and maybe 29 inches tall. This was in May. Today her DD is still FF in a EB 3 in 1. Of course I told her her DD could not FF because she was only 11 months, she also did not meet the 22 lbs FF weight requirement of the manufacturer or the 34 inch height requirement. She still does not meet the height requirement.

Unfortunately, she will not put her RFing even though I have showed her the worse case scenarios, medical proof it is safer, and all the videos I could find. All I can do now is just hope she is not in a collision and uses the seat correctly as far as tight install and harnees tight and proper retainer clip position.

Ugh.... I know how you feel. My best friend turned her DD at 10 months and wouldn't listen to a thing I said! She has a BV and is really pretty good at keeping the harness tight and the chest clip in the right position, but SUCKS at the RFing thing. She turned her because she had driven with the baby alone 8 hours and she screemed the whole way and has welts on her shoulders from struggling against the harness when they arrived. My friend isn't a worrier in general, and decided it would be better to have her FF for the trip back and not freaking out the whole way. She wouldn't turn her back when I pointed it out. We had just started speaking again after a huge fight (not speaking for almost 3 months and we were LIVING together!), so I wasn't really able to give her a bunch of shit about it... I couldn't sleep for weeks though!