Brother & SIL don't use car seat correctly

ald2012

New member
My niece is just a little younger than my son, so I was surprised when my brother told me he had turned his daughter (small, not yet 2) forward facing, He said that she seemed uncomfortable so they flipped her around before the long drives around the holidays. I just said that it's probably not a big deal that her legs look squished, that most kids that ride rear facing past 1 year look a little bit squished, and our child is much taller and seems fine rear-facing. Didn't get into the "5 times safer" commentary or the AAP recommendations or anything else about it (although I probably didn't disguise my look of surprise very well).

Then, we had to go somewhere and instead of driving two separate cars, he put her seat in next to my son's seat (Britax Marathon in the middle, rear facing next to my Chicco Nextfit, rear facing). He asked me to check it, and the installation was so many kinds of wrong I don't know where to begin. I could move the seat nearly a foot along the belt path (actually flipped it over on its side with one hand), it was crooked (seats are both pretty wide and don't puzzle when rear facing), not flat on the seat, etc. I don't have the same seat, but attempted to install it in a different location in our car and got a tight install using the LATCH (no manual available at the time). He said he just didn't know how to use the shoulder belt install. I just mentioned that generally you don't want the seat to move more than an inch along the belt path or front to back but didn't say anything else.

He then held up the long tether strap and said he'd just throw it in the floor board because he didn't need it rear facing (I checked the Britax Marathon install directions later, and I think you're supposed to use it forward AND rear facing, but our seat doesn't have this feature for RF).

Then, after we arrived at our destination, I went to get my niece out of her car seat, and the straps were so loose I could slide my whole hand under them without any effort at all. Forget the pinch test. I wouldn't be surprised to find that she also rides in the seat with her winter coat on. I don't have a Britax seat and find those "HUGS" pads to be difficult, but it just seemed to me like they were very loose, even for this seat.

I realize I am kind of a nut about safety issues, especially car seats, and while my brother and SIL are educated, they are also kind of clueless and very laid back. I doubt either of them waste as much time on website regarding parenting issues, carseat sites, etc., as I do. But I am so bothered by this. I love my brother and my SIL and my niece to pieces, and if something were to happen because she wasn't safely in a carseat, I'd never forgive myself. My SIL is not a great driver and has done things like leave her in the car to run inside a building for "a few minutes", walked off from the baby on the changing table to grab something, etc. I pretty much always bite my tongue, because I know people parent differently, and I'm probably on the right side of the bell curve while they're on the left. I know they got their seat (at least infant seat) checked out by a CPS, so I think that they actually do CARE about using it properly.

How would you handle it? We need to take his car seat out of our car and put it in his car tomorrow morning. Seems like a good chance to help him do it properly, but I don't want to come across as holier-than-thou. Despite the fact that our children are the same ages, we as parents are in a very different stage of life financially/career-wise/age. I have never let those issues come up and never give them parenting advice or criticism. We compare notes, but it's more of the "oh, yeah, we've totally been dealing with that, too" variety.
 
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seb3244

New member
I bit my about 6 weeks ago when family showed me their new vehicle with at least 3 old expired car seats in it.

Looking back I would say this
" some people collect hair bows or cloth diapers or shoes for their babies and know all about the latest and greatest but somehow my passion wasn't hair bows (obviously since you have a boy) or shoes but my sort of obsession is car seat and car seat (say excitedly that you are a car seat nerd) safety since the leading cause of death for babies and children under age 14 is car crashes. The aap now recommends babies rear face until age 2 at a minimum or until they reach the limit on their car seat because their spine isn't developed enough to with stand the physical forces of a crash. Forgive me for speaking up but I would hate myself if I didn't since I know it is safer. Please look at this pic.

Then show him this

https://www.google.com/search?site=...youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DG8mFsXNXOLw;480;360

Hopefully this link worked (sorry it is very long)
This is in a 30-40 mph crash. Ask him which he think looks safer.

If he still wants to forward face her use the lock off on the britax to make it not crooked. And re tell him it must move less than an inch side to side and front to back and that it must be tethered that you looked on britax website and it must be top tethered. Tell him the straps need to be tight on her or she will fly out.

I wished I said something to my Bil and sil but neither are my sibling so I don't think they would listen. I may send them some info though.

Good luck.
 

lgenne

New member
I would start simpler: "I'm a car seat geek. Do you want to hear about car seat safety from me?" If they say no, you've done what you can. If they say yes, they're in a better frame of mind to be receptive to what they're saying.
 

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