Here's a WWYD situation: Which is the safer choice??

gofastchickenwing

New member
This was posted on a mom's board I'm on:

Say the grandmother is babysitting a toddler. He is about 29-30 pounds. There is an emergency and one of their minor kids (the parent's sister) ends up in the ER after a car accident. She is single and a minor, and grandmother has to go up to the hospital, because it's not a good situation at all. Grandmother calls the child's mother and father at all numbers, no answer. Hospital is roughly 10 minutes away, down an access road to a highway running through town. Grandmother has no carseat - just an infant bucket - because she was only supposed to have the toddler for a couple hours and they don't typically ever go anywhere.

Options:

#1. Kid goes in car on the seat with a regular safety belt lap belt across his lap and the shoulder harness behind him.

#2. Kid gets crammed into bucket seat, properly installed in the car.

My friend is FURIOUS with her mothers choice. Like "you can't see my kid anymore" mad, which I think is insane, regardless of which way she chose. And the sister is fine now, btw.

So, WWYD, and then I'll tell you what actually happened.
 
ADS

Kalinky

Senior Community Member
Good heavens. If those were my only 2 choices, I spose I'd take #2. Wonder if Grandma had any neighbors she could count on to watch the child? Apparently not. That is precisely why my MIL has a permanent seat in her car and why we have a Scenera in the basement. You just NEVER KNOW when ANYTHING could happen. If my Mom comes over to watch DD, I take her car and leave mine with the car seat in it.
 

MumtotinyM

New member
Hmm this is such a tough situation, and both of these options are extremely dangerous. If I had absolutely no other options and it was between putting a toddler in a lap only belt or a infant bucket, it would have to be the bucket. My reasoning for this is that at least in the infant seat they would be RFing and restrained a toddler actually staying in a seat belt seem very slim. Again both of these choices are horrible, and I would try and do everything I could before resorting to one of them. Did the grandparent think to call an ambulance?
 

snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
Urgh, I have no clue what I'd do. I hate both options and would try to find something else - maybe a neighbor with a car seat or something or someone I could leave kiddo with temporarily?

I think it's a darned if you do darned if you don't scenario. I'm honestly not sure which is worse - a child could potentially be killed from the infant seat being such a poor fit, so it's not exactly the best choice... but would the seat injure a child more than the vehicle seatbelt? I dunno...

I'm going to get slammed I suspect, but I might choose the seatbelt in this scenario if I absolutely had no other choice - (and might use a phone book or something to raise kid high enough that shoulder belt could go in front of them?) A kid who is way over the weight and height limit of a seat is going to be at way higher risk of injury in even a minor collision. I'd probably have to see just how poor a fit kiddo was in the bucket before deciding though...

Neither option is safe, and I really don't think one is safer than the other. I think they're both life threatening in a crash. It would depend on the crash though as to which would be more likely to be deadly. :(
 

tjham

New member
Quote: "Say the grandmother is babysitting a toddler. He is about 29-30 pounds. There is an emergency and one of their minor kids (the parent's sister) ends up in the ER after a car accident. She is single and a minor, and grandmother has to go up to the hospital, because it's not a good situation at all. Grandmother calls the child's mother and father at all numbers, no answer. Hospital is roughly 10 minutes away, down an access road to a highway running through town. Grandmother has no carseat - just an infant bucket - because she was only supposed to have the toddler for a couple hours and they don't typically ever go anywhere.

Options:

#1. Kid goes in car on the seat with a regular safety belt lap belt across his lap and the shoulder harness behind him.

#2. Kid gets crammed into bucket seat, properly installed in the car.

My friend is FURIOUS with her mothers choice. Like "you can't see my kid anymore" mad, which I think is insane, regardless of which way she chose. And the sister is fine now, btw."


First of all, I, as the grandmother, would be irritated that I could not reach either parent :rolleyes: and that they didn't make provisions with a seat ICE!. Thinking about my child being in the hospital and needing me, for a 10 minute drive, I would probably choose to use the infant seat if there was no one absolutely trustworthy that I could call on for help.
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
I think both would be disastrous in a severe crash, but I think the bucket would cause fewer injuries than a poorly fitting lap-only seatbelt in a minor crash, so I guess I'd vote for the bucket.
 

amy919

New member
Reason #5487915487 I never leave my children anywhere without car seats installed.

I'd go with Option 2 as well. Neither option is a good one, but I agree that injuries would be less severe with option 2.

I'm dying to know what happened!
 

Melizerd

New member
Reason #5487915487 I never leave my children anywhere without car seats installed.

I was just talking about this with DH. We only have one seat. My mom occasionally watches Gabe and I was just saying we REALLY need to go to Walmart and get a Scenera just for an emergency.
 

gofastchickenwing

New member
Okay, here is what the OP said:

She crammed himin the infant seat. He's a shorty, so his head (just the top) was just barely over the top of the seat. The mom is insanely mad that she didn't do just the lap belt "or stay put till we could get there for him!".

I'm thinking -- you didn't leave a seat for your kid, you weren't reachable by phone, and your mom thought her daughter (your sister!) was possibly dying alone in an ER 10 minutes away and did the best she could? Give it a rest!

This was my email response to her:

Honestly, while I appreciate your concerns about him in a too-small seat,I really think your mom did the best she could in a bad situation. Remember, while you are/were concerned about a possible accident involving your child, she was concerned with an actual emergency with her child, and she had no way to get a hold of you or Derrick, and had to make due. The fact that she thought to use the bucket says to me that she *did* consider Adams safety. In this case, all's well that ends well, and now you know to always leave a seat with her, even if they don't anticipate going anywhere.

I am glad your sister is doing well.
 

MandiRN

New member
WOW what a scenario that grandmother was faced with. I would have chosen what she chose. I did one of these :jaw: when I read your answer as to what the mom wanted Grandma to do. GOOD LORD! I'm glad everyone is well and I hope Grandma sticks up for herself doing what she thought was best during a critical time! ~Mandi
 

daycaremom2002

Active member
Wow what a bad situation. I am not a tech, but I think I would have used the bucket too. I would not have been able to safely drive and make sure that a child that little stayed sitting in the seatbelt.

This is why my mom always had a seat in her car for my kids. You just never know.

I like your reply. She needs to see this from her moms point of view. She did the best she could. She was panicked for her own daughter and I am sure she was worried about her grandson at the same time. She did what she could to get a hold of mom and dad, and they weren't reachable. What did she expect her to do? Sit there while her daughter possibly died? I don't think so. She needs to move past it, and make a trip to Wal Mart for a Scenera and teach grandma how to use it and learn from this.
 

snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
I think that is an excellent reply. And I'm happy to hear that's the choice g-ma made, albeit shocked to hear mom was so upset about it.

I realized just now, that if it wasn't me making the decision, but someone else in the situation with my kid, I'd hope they'd use the bucket. So I guess I change my vote. :eek:
 
maybe the mom just has issues (not Gma).

The seat perhaps was expired?

I would have to say the seat to because the lap belt, if in an accident could have left the child unable to walk ever again. I'd rather cuts and scratches.

If I had a child in my care right now i have
AHR - Birth to 40lb AU
Premier Birth to 40lb AU
Galaxy birth to 40lb AU
An expired seat 20 - 40lb AU (this i would not use, it is for educational use only)
Marathon
Recaro Start
2 polystyrene boosters to 57lb
1 infant seat to 28lb

all of these are accessable right now.
oops there is another galaxy too!
Anny child that comes here is going to have access to a seat for their height and weight, safely.
 

Niea

New member
I'd have chosen the bucket, too.

However, it really depends on the age of the child. I'd be more apt to putting a 30lb 4 year old in just the seatbelt, provided I could get them boosted up enough to wear the shoulder belt. A 30lb 18 mos old, on the otherhand, would have most definitely gone in the infant seat.

I'd thank my lucky stars nothing happened on the trip to the hospital, then run out and buy a spare seat for grandma.

It's the main reason my parents have a Scenera for DD. They don't drive her a around a whole lot but it's nice the option exists. In fact, just today they had to pick her up from the sitters with little notice. I'm out of town and DH had a dental emergency and had to be seen immediately. . .it was nice for my parents to be able to pick DD up, and do so safely. So far no emergency has happened while my parents have had her in their care, but you never know and I don't want to chance it.
 

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