Need to vent

And I knew you would all understand. Now, let me start off by saying, I love this person dearly, and I know she loves her kids...but O.M.G. I am so unbelievably upset with her at the moment.

OK, my daycare family (and one of my bf) was getting ready to leave. Her dd forgot her pumpkin, so I ran out to the car to give it to her. I went to her dd's window so she could carry it (it's small, and trust me...there are a LOT worse things in this car then a pumpkin!) and mom rolled HER window down. I said no, I want her to have it. So she reluctantly rolls her window down...and then I see WHY. BABY W who is 21mo old is sitting next to his 7yr old sister instead of IN the built in carseat, both unbuckled (they were getting ready to pull out). I was like %*&^*^(%$!!!!!!!! She says 'I don't want to fight with him'. Again (&*(^*%&%**$!!!!! So I go around, and put his butt into the seat and buckle him in, at which time I noticed that NONE of her 4 children were buckled in. They know me, and how I am, so the kids start buckling up. But then I noticed that the 4yr old was in her booster, in her winter coat, with it unbuckled. So around to the other side, take off her coat and buckled her in. And yes, I chewed mom out!!!! She loves me, so I can get away with talking to one of my daycare parents like that...but I'm still pissed off. She tried the 'it's only a few miles to home, it's not like I'm going far' excuse. UH HUH, what ever. I told her about the accidents closest to home, etc. But I'm FURIOUS. After everything I do to protect these kids when I have them, and their parents don't give a flying rats ARSE about vehicle safety. Do what ever the HECK you want with yourself, but OMG, how hard is it to buckle your kids in??????????

KaysKidz said:

Do what ever the HECK you want with yourself, but OMG, how hard is it to buckle your kids in??????????

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Butt.. buuuuttt... there is no way they could get into a crash because it's only "a few miles away"

((HUGS)) I feel your pain. it's so frustrating, esp dealing with the parents you really know and like.

Just people will just not understand that accidents can happen to them. They may be the safest driver in the whole city, but that one time that another careless driver drives down that same street could mean the end to your entire family if you are not buckled up correctly.

A little girl died in a car accident just 200 yards from my house a couple years ago. She unbuckled her carseat and her mom didn't know it (or she might never have been in the seat to begin with). The car slipped on some mud in the road and the little girl was ejected in that accident. I doubt that mother thought it would ever happen to her since she was just driving down the road. Now she knows anything can happen.

ugh!

this would be a good situation to educate the CHILDREN, since mom 'doesnt want to argue'

Next time you have them teach them, if you only keep the little girl, teach her to teach her siblings(even though she is young).

I feel your pain!

LuvBug03 said:

ugh!

this would be a good situation to educate the CHILDREN, since mom 'doesnt want to argue'

Next time you have them teach them, if you only keep the little girl, teach her to teach her siblings(even though she is young).

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I already do this. But I did it again yesterday. Told the 7yr old to always make sure he was buckled into his seat.

I was talking to her friend this morning (another parent) and she says she does this all the time.

They just don't understand, and I don't know what to do to educate them about the risks they are taking. One or both of these mom's will end up burying one or more of their kids if they ever get in a wreck.

Can you say to her "How would you feel if I, your DCP, drove around town with your children unharnessed and got into an accident and the kids were hurt?" If it's not Ok for the DCP to do it, then why is it OK for her to do it? Often people do things themselves that they would blew a gasket if someone else did to their kids. Of course, this tactic won't work if she's totally fine with you having the kids unrestrained.

Sadly, she wouldn't care. Her other bf drives her kids around all the time and they never wear seat belts in there either. We're talking 9 people in a 5 passenger SUV (7 of which are children 7 & under). Now, she will buckle the littlest ones...but none of the 7yr olds (or adults) are restrained in anyway.

The sad part is, from her letting him ride like this, it's now causing issues in my car trying to get him buckled up. He's still rf in my car and fighting it REALLY hard. Now I know why. But I will not let him win. As long as I've got an open rf seat, his booty is in it. And he'll most certainly be in a 5pte harness till at least 4yrs old in my car!!!

i'd be pissed too but good for you for just climbing on in and buckling them all

I would find all the good crash test videos you can and insist that she watch them. I don't think people fully grasp the forces involved in a crash until they see that. Show her the ones with the unbelted "kids" and the mom holding a lap baby (someone posted some here), and then the ones of properly belted or harnessed children. If that doen't make her stop what she's doing, she's a lost cause and will not learn until one of her children is dead. Maybe show her the video of Kyle Miller so she can begin to imagine the grief she would feel.

I have to be honest, this sounds like a situation where they aren't going to "get it" until someone gets killed or very seriously injured. I have a friend like that. It kills me to know that there is absolutly nothing I can do to "fix" her thinking. I fear for her son's life every damn day.

I am sharing your frustration - yesterday I saw my sister riding around with FOUR unrestrained kids in the back seat! (Three of my nieces, & one of their friends.) When she saw the look on my face she started in with "I know, I know, we're going to get my car RIGHT NOW!"

Grrrrr....

What a frustrating situation!!!

I have a friend that routinely drove with her son in his carrier but not strapped in...with the carrier placed on the front seat for easy access while she was driving on the highway...so she could nurse him.

I thought that no amount of talking/educating would change her mind...turns out...I eventually had a positive effect! She came to my home the other night saying that she was having problems with her EB3in1 install now that Jr. is bigger. Not crazy about her choice of car seats but was MORE than happy to help her install it properly...and she let him stay rf even though he's well over 1 year now...progress!!

Ya it's cool when the kids are able to teach the adults what you taught them. I never realized my god daughters older sister who's 13 was listening so much but the other night I was getting in the car and shes like are you gonna fix her car seat tonight I said actually yes but why? shes like its too loose! :thumbsup: Then we went to Target and I wanted to try dgd in the new ETA but i first sat her in a Scenera. 13 yr old is like hey what about this one it looks cool and it will hold her a long time (she had spotted the ETA!) then as her mother approaches shes like oh mom look at this one it says it holds kids to 100 lbs thats Marty he's no where near 100 hes only like 50 or 60 lbs, Marty should be riding in this---I was floored, I've been preaching to my friend and her hubby that the 9 yr old needs a booster forever but he never is, he's been in an adult belt since like 6/7 yrs old It's their nephew and I think they don't want to invest because his mother doesn't make him ride in anything but like I keep telling them he's with them more than he's with his mom for a REASON...

All in all I felt really good about the whole evening and I'm glad the 13 yr old is listening I say keep working on the kids:twocents: There is hope