The '05-'10 Odyssey's have a slightly skinnier middle seat in the second row with generous captains chairs. What I did when we had our '09 (and many on here) is remove that middle seat and slide the two captains chairs side by side creating a permanent aisle to the 3rd row. Because you are installing car seats in two captains chairs, you have plenty of room and no overlapping.
In the newer model '11+ Odysseys, they have a wider middle seat with LATCH & Top Tether Anchor. What we have done in our '14 now is to pull on two handles at the bottom corners of the captains chairs on either side of the second row and pull them towards the door. It slides over 1.5" on either side setting the second row into what Honda calls, "wide mode". This allows for much more room to get two car seats side by side. If you puzzle them (RF one and FF the other) then there is zero issue...it's when you RF two wider car seats then they kind of push on each other and create an overlap problem. While you can still get to the captains chair in the second row to sit on, it makes folding it forward to access the 3rd row quite difficult. I have seen some completely remove the captains chair and store it in the garage, but you are losing a viable seat...it's up to you.
Personally, seating configurations are endless in these 8 passenger vans. What you may also want to pay attention to are the safety scores, how the tech works, how the seats operate (all vans have a different way of folding their seats both in the 2nd row and 3rd row), and what features you get with each trim...some cars have a lot standard and others utilize "add-ons" mostly installed by the dealer. For more car seat installation options you will need to look at the previous generation Toyota Sienna's compared to the currents in the used market. They did, however, improve the '15s to add top tether anchors in more seats (they used to only have THREE only in the '10-'14 years). The Odyssey's from about '05+ are going to be good for car seat install configuration options...so a little larger market, but they have higher resale on the used market...catch 22.
To help your husband along...both the Honda and Toyota options are easy to maintain and work on. They have better reliability than the lesser expensive Chrysler/Dodge/VW vans (there is a reason those are less expensive), so you are getting a higher quality build. Have him fold the 3rd rows down and show off all the space available for hauling and getting things...often times double the space of any SUV (especially height) in that cargo area and makes my runs to Home Depot quite enjoyable. And lastly, they are both much safer 3 row vehicles than almost all SUVs on the market (especially the '14 & '15 Honda Odyssey)...for a daddy bear, that's foremost in my mind to protect my cubs.