I don't think it's sinking in

cpsaddict · Oct 15, 2007

On another board I frequent, there was a question about rearfacing until two. The mom had never heard of it until a coworker brought it up. There are about 50 posts and 95% of them turned their child right at a year and 20lbs or earlier. How disappointing! Most of them said their child's legs were scrunched, they couldn't see, etc.

I'm just so frustrated right now......

sb518 · Oct 15, 2007

I had to come to the realization that you can't "save" everybody's children. If they are curious to know I tell them, but other then that it's every parent/caregiver for themselves

tjham · Oct 15, 2007

I know how you feel.

I got chastised on another board for trying to make people feel "guilty" when they had "done the research" and "knew what was best for their children".

cpsaddict · Oct 15, 2007

tjham said:
I know how you feel.

I got chastised on another board for trying to make people feel "guilty" when they had "done the research" and "knew what was best for their children".

Oh, yeah, these women were all so sure they knew exactly what they were talking about. I was flabbergasted, really. It's amazing how far a person can have their head in the sand. They asked their doctor after all and they followed the law. Righttt......
I do not know how you cannot see the research. This really is a black and white issue. There is no gray.

mominabigtruck · Oct 15, 2007

I know I got into it on a local board about people turning their kids before they were one. Almost every single person said that their dr said it was ok so obviously it must be. I said that drs weren't carseat techs and they shouldn't be relied upon to give info on carseats and someone said that their ped was certified and that they said as soon as they hit 20lbs it was fine. I told them that not only was their ped not certified but that if they were up on their dr stuff then they would know that the aap recommends rfing to the limits of their seat.

katiebug · Oct 15, 2007

mominabigtruck said:
I know I got into it on a local board about people turning their kids before they were one. Almost every single person said that their dr said it was ok so obviously it must be. I said that drs weren't carseat techs and they shouldn't be relied upon to give info on carseats and someone said that their ped was certified and that they said as soon as they hit 20lbs it was fine. I told them that not only was their ped not certified but that if they were up on their dr stuff then they would know that the aap recommends rfing to the limits of their seat.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh, I wish people could understand that Dr's are people too & they don't always know EVERYTHING

(I can say that cause I'm married to one)

Ali · Oct 15, 2007

I don't understand when people say they turned their kiddo at 1 and they were "fine." Unless they were in every conveivable accident, how would they know??

When people see the crash test videos, yet still turn them - I simply don't understand.

jlr9882 · Oct 15, 2007

mominabigtruck said:
I know I got into it on a local board about people turning their kids before they were one. Almost every single person said that their dr said it was ok so obviously it must be. I said that drs weren't carseat techs and they shouldn't be relied upon to give info on carseats and someone said that their ped was certified and that they said as soon as they hit 20lbs it was fine. I told them that not only was their ped not certified but that if they were up on their dr stuff then they would know that the aap recommends rfing to the limits of their seat.

I hear about peds saying it is ok to turn babies around once they are 20 lbs all the time. I post youtube videos of crash tests, give links, but there is only so much you can do or say. People are going to do what they want.

lovemyfamily · Oct 15, 2007

cpsaddict said:
Oh, yeah, these women were all so sure they knew exactly what they were talking about. I was flabbergasted, really. It's amazing how far a person can have their head in the sand. They asked their doctor after all and they followed the law. Righttt......
I do not know how you cannot see the research. This really is a black and white issue. There is no gray.

Tell them to ask their Dr. when he took his CST course! :thumbsdown:

andbabiesmake4 · Oct 15, 2007

I HATE when parents say "I know it's safer too have him/her RFing but they're still safe FFing".. or "It's fine" ... Why not do the SafeST thing possible and do the BEST thing possible? Not safe & fine??????? ARGHHHHHHHHH

JessicaS · Oct 15, 2007

tjham said:
I know how you feel.

I got chastised on another board for trying to make people feel "guilty" when they had "done the research" and "knew what was best for their children".

Ditto. Except they say, "Please don't try to make me feel like I'm a bad mom for xyz." This has happened twice now. Once with a major rear-facing thread I started, and once with a quick comment about buying a seat on an airplane and using a carseat.

Now I say, "I'm not trying to make anyone feel like a bad mom. I am only giving you the facts. If knowing the facts makes you feel like a bad mom, then maybe you should rethink your stance on the issue."

ETA: For what it's worth, I got WARNINGS for both of those comments on the other message board I'm on. Freaking warnings for trying to help. I wish I could be more eloquent with my wording sometimes.

Wineaux · Oct 16, 2007

The problem is that once the decision is made, those Mom's can't be wrong. That's true of any Mom btw. Why? Because if you admit that you made a wrong decision regarding your child's safety, then you are a bad and evil Mommy. Their ego's can't handle that.

I quit trying to be nice about the important stuff. Just call then a flipping moron and be done with it. You know that they aren't going to listen to you, that they're going to get defensive and lash out, so just skip all that and tell them the honest truth. "You, sir/madame are a complete idiot and a waste of good oxygen." It doesn't help the problem, but they weren't going to listen anyways. What it does do, is let you vent and get it out of your system. From then on you have them on your Moron List, and just ignore what they have to say in the future.

Melizerd · Oct 16, 2007

tjham said:
I know how you feel.

I got chastised on another board for trying to make people feel "guilty" when they had "done the research" and "knew what was best for their children".

I got told I didn't know what I was talking about and none of my links were "official" enough

Thankfully MOST people I've tried to help have been receptive but you can't save everyone....from themselves.

joolsplus3 · Oct 16, 2007

I can only tolerate people's current stupidity if I remember that things ARE better than they were... and there are probably lurkers who are learning something valuable just from me presenting the facts. One day it will get way better, it's just that the steps to that point seem to be so teeny...

At least we have a safe place to come (here!)

IsasMom · Oct 16, 2007

OK... good news... on my BabyCenter birth board there was a poll. Most (60 some percent) were RF our 14 month olds over 20 lbs. Less than 10% turned early. Some 14 mos olds were still under 20 lbs and parents were undecided.

A few asked for advice- legs OK? how to keep them from being too hot, bored, etc.

Not too bad!

ZephyrBlue · Oct 16, 2007

I recently sent out an email to 25+ friends w/booster age children (well, kids from 4-7, since most kids are in boosters at age 4

) about backless vs hbb boosters. One person put their 6yo back in a hbb instead of the backless Turbo that she was using. I felt really really defeated, but I guess you just do the best you can, try as hard as you can to educate and support people, and then you have to let them make their own decisions. It's freaking hard, though. OP, good for you for trying :thumbsup: If you can educate just one parent, it's worth your time and aggravation, IMO.

MandiRN · Oct 16, 2007

Unfortunately, there is A LOT of ignorance out there and it drives me bonkers. On another board that LimePink and I participate in, she has given well worded, factual information about seats and was torn to shreds. When asked, she gives her opinion on seats and clearly states each time that that is her individual opinion. We had one thread locked and a "let's calm down ladies" message sent out after that one. It's so frustrating to try to help and have it fall on deaf ears over and over.

Melizerd · Oct 16, 2007

The don't call me a bad mom but...statements are what get me.

Uh there are somethings that my son doesn't like to do either but I do them because they're safer. I don't let him touch the stove even though he wants to.

Sometimes people need a RUDE awakening and it's a shame that most of the people that are REALLY against it will only change their minds when something tragic happens.

Holly · Oct 16, 2007

I stopped trying unless I am asked. a few weeks ago on another board someone asked if they could turn their 11 mo old yet because "Her feet are all squished touching the back now".
a lot of people replied that she could and they turned their kids at 1 year or just before for the same reason.

I posted about erf and said how I had turned my dd at 1 year, but turned her back at 2 and she'll stay that way longer. I said it's safer (but didn't say why) and said I'd be happy to post links if anyone was interested.

Someone wanted the links, so I posted them all, even the story about the girl who was in an accident ff and the article clearly says her injuries would be much less severe had she been RF and she was still small enough that she could have been.

Much to my excitment, 2 other ladies there said they also ERF, I was so glad because then I was not the only "psycho" who does that. There weren't many replies after the ERF comments from the 3 of us, but one lady said she's considering doing that with her baby. No one said anything negative about ERF, I think either they just didn't have anything to say or they realized we were right.

Either way, I still dont bring it up unless I am asked. But I have my signature pic at all the boards I go to, its the same one that I have here. I use it on purpose so people will see it and maybe ask me why I have Hannah RF still so I will have the opportunity to talk about it.

I don't think it's sinking in

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