how to talk to loved one about misuse?

DH is a great guy, great husband, and a great dad. He is, however, slightly careless and absentminded in a lot of aspects of life. If you imagine a clueless professor-type with his pants stuck in his sock and half a shirttail out, you wouldn't be far off.

He's terrible about buckling the kids in correctly. If we're together, I just do it and it's fine. DS rides in a Click Safe Boulevard, which isn't perfect but at least gives him some feedback, and a Ranier which doesn't need harness adjustment with every trip - just for this reason.

DD is only 3 months and rides in a Snugride 30. It's more difficult to buckle her in as she's smaller and floppier. Today I'm working and he's home and he sent me a picture with her chest clip at her belly button and the loose straps falling off her shoulders.

Everytime I bring it up, he rolls his eyes, thinks I'm being dramatic, and says it's good enough. But this isn't like the best way to load the dishwasher or how you squeeze the toothpaste tube or which way the toilet paper comes off the roll. There's a clear right way and this isn't it, and it's very important for the safety of our kids.

Any tips or advice? Anything anyone has used to get through to a loved one?

I would pull up some videos of crash tests of kids and show him what happens to children who are not properly buckled in.
Some times they need a good visual to get it.

That must be so so difficult for you.

My husband isn't as bad, but he does have a tendency of not tightening the straps perfectly, so I do usually always check everything is in order after he's put them in. Which I have told him is annoying because I expect him to know by now how to do it, but he says he feels safer if I do so...

What I think I would do in your case is to show him some real life stories. Like that little baby boy who died because he wasn't buckled in more then he's chest clip, the baby that got thrown out of he's car seat into the snow bank because he was wearing a snow suit in he's car seat.
The list goes on and on. There's lots of youtube crash testing on most of the errors to give people a visual of how important this is.

I hope you can get him to see the importance!

If he still doesn't take it seriously then.... personally I wouldn't let him take them out in the car.

Thanks - We had a talk last night and he said he had taken the baby out of the seat to change her diaper and strapped her back in really quickly because the older was fussing. He claims he intended to fix it before he put her back in the car.

this is the pic -

DH is a doctor - I shouldn't need a video to convince him this is dangerous - but any links would be appreciated!

I ca't figure out why that's showing up sideways

At least he's got her down in the big basket area of the cart
I'm glad you were able to talk to him. I hate confrontation and I know my DH doesn't like to be told he is doing something "wrong".
I also find talking out loud to the kids about how their buckles and straps should be is helpful in informing other adult family members without "lecturing them" - although this would be a little obvious in talking to an infant it definitely works for toddlers on up.

Maybe show him the appropriate pages in the car seat manual where it talks about buckling up the child.

I would just talk to him and say something like, "I know you think this is not important. I know you probably think I am crazy for being as careful as I am about car seats. And I know I am not going to convince you otherwise, and really, I'm fine with that. But it IS really, really, super important to me that our kids are buckled in to my standards every single time they ride in the car, and I need you to respect that and buckle them in the way that I would. Even if you are rolling your eyes on the inside every single time, honestly, I don't care, as long as you buckle them in the way I want you to. There are things that I do for no other reason than you want me to do them, and so this is what I'm asking you to do for me."