Jeeps and Miatas

katelly123

New member
So you have a honda pilot too?

Haha yes! I'm sorry I didn't mention that. I was thinking more along the lines of what my husband drives. My car is the Pilot and baby will be riding with me most often. My husband is the only one who really drives the Jeep and Miata. I did for fun at one point in time, but the Miata is too low and cramped for my pregnant belly and I refuse to climb into the Jeep everyday.

I will say that my husband has always been a safe driver. He usually gets onto me about my driving… and when he's in the driver seat I'm typically annoyed about how careful and slow he is. A lot of people misuse Jeeps and Miatas but he is not one of them. The problem is, you can't control other drivers around you...
 
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kathysr98

Active member
That's fine...like I said, it's something most guys take time figuring out. This is coming from a male perspective about a male. We aren't emotionally tied to a child usually until after the birth. It doesn't "hit us" until after delivery sometimes that "oh crap, I am a Dad." Then protection starts to sink in and they want to make sure that their kid is safe at all times. Some guys, it comes earlier and some it never comes. Doesn't mean either is a better Dad that the other. My wife didn't push me, I did this all on my own. I am not suggesting she tell her husband what to do (nor you), but the obvious and logical correct choice would be to ALWAYS choose the safer option...which is neither car. It doesn't mean that neither are "safe"...but there are far safer cars out there. It only takes one time and usually when you least expect it. Most accidents occur close to home when everyone is stuck in "routine" and not as aware of what is going on. Just because you use a car rarely, it can easily happen in the moment you are using that less safe vehicle. I only suggested newer in that the cars are more likely to have passed better safety crash standards to older vehicles...especially SUV/Trucks. Those vehicles didn't get scrutinized on their crash results until the mid-2000's. And a Jeep rolls over with a small breeze...especially the lifted kind.

My dh didn't need to bond with dd to decide to buy a new truck. He didn't need to grown up or have anything hit him either. He needed to make a decision that was best for our family. He could have bought a truck earlier, but dd probably couldn't have gone to that nice Montessori school. He could have bought one before she was born, but he would have had to quit college, and that would make a $30k difference in our lifestyle, so she wouldn't have any activities or get the private OT she needs. In short, there is far more to vehicle decisions than what's safest for the kid.

P.S.- I still have my 2004 Mach 1 Mustang & dd loves riding in it. In fact, we take a trip in it every fall. She gains great experiences with her mother, and in ok with a small reduction in safety for that benefit.
 

DawgDad

New member
My dh didn't need to bond with dd to decide to buy a new truck. He didn't need to grown up or have anything hit him either. He needed to make a decision that was best for our family. He could have bought a truck earlier, but dd probably couldn't have gone to that nice Montessori school. He could have bought one before she was born, but he would have had to quit college, and that would make a $30k difference in our lifestyle, so she wouldn't have any activities or get the private OT she needs. In short, there is far more to vehicle decisions than what's safest for the kid.

P.S.- I still have my 2004 Mach 1 Mustang & dd loves riding in it. In fact, we take a trip in it every fall. She gains great experiences with her mother, and in ok with a small reduction in safety for that benefit.

I fail to see the correlation in giving up unrealistic cars for the safety of your children, and being unable to afford anything. You can trade cars straight up for other safer vehicles without the need to quit college, afford Montessori, or even do extra-curricular activities. Quite the stretch to justify something I didn't ask of you to defend. Obviously the logical choice if you want to keep your child safe, is to choose only safe things. It's unrealistic to expect parents to wrap their children in bubble-wrap every day, but it would be the safer choice.

I am sure I offended you in some way when nothing was directed at you from the beginning, yet you try to defend the choices in some way. I didn't even know your situation until you disagreed with my comment to select the safer option. I mean you are on a forum about car seat safety, so a logical thought would be that you would be thinking about the safer vehicles since you value safety in the seat... My recommendations are always going to come from that point of view, so that's why my recommendation to the OP was to hopefully trade one or both the toys in for a more sensible vehicle for a future father...without the need of a car payment (completely doable). As a man, I understand that it's not an easy process of evolving into the responsible parent, and getting rid of the past "single adult life" things is not easy...most don't do it after marriage.
 

kathysr98

Active member
I fail to see the correlation in giving up unrealistic cars for the safety of your children, and being unable to afford anything. You can trade cars straight up for other safer vehicles without the need to quit college, afford Montessori, or even do extra-curricular activities. Quite the stretch to justify something I didn't ask of you to defend. Obviously the logical choice if you want to keep your child safe, is to choose only safe things. It's unrealistic to expect parents to wrap their children in bubble-wrap every day, but it would be the safer choice. I am sure I offended you in some way when nothing was directed at you from the beginning, yet you try to defend the choices in some way. I didn't even know your situation until you disagreed with my comment to select the safer option. I mean you are on a forum about car seat safety, so a logical thought would be that you would be thinking about the safer vehicles since you value safety in the seat... My recommendations are always going to come from that point of view, so that's why my recommendation to the OP was to hopefully trade one or both the toys in for a more sensible vehicle for a future father...without the need of a car payment (completely doable). As a man, I understand that it's not an easy process of evolving into the responsible parent, and getting rid of the past "single adult life" things is not easy...most don't do it after marriage.

Trading vehicles costs money. Trading an older, likely paid for, vehicle for something safer can be expensive, especially if that vehicle has to do more than just haul children.

The OP stated that trading vehicles was not an option and that the Miata has no or almost no value. Saying that her husband needs to 'evolve into a responsible parent' is degrading and shows a lack of understanding of the financial situation that many people are working within. Maybe her husband works in the off-road vehicle industry and has to have the Jeep for work. Maybe it belonged to a family member who is deceased & it is important to them to keep it. It doesn't matter why. The OP came here with a set of constraints, asking for help. Telling her to do something she said can't be done is not helpful. Helpful is telling her what we know about each vehicle, and how to make her child as safe as possible given the constraints she presents.

As far as justifying something you didn't ask me to defend, I explained why we did what we did to show that responsible fathers sometimes make different decisions than the one you suggest and to show the OP that real world answers can be found on this forum.
 

DawgDad

New member
Trading vehicles costs money. Trading an older, likely paid for, vehicle for something safer can be expensive, especially if that vehicle has to do more than just haul children.

The OP stated that trading vehicles was not an option and that the Miata has no or almost no value. Saying that her husband needs to 'evolve into a responsible parent' is degrading and shows a lack of understanding of the financial situation that many people are working within. Maybe her husband works in the off-road vehicle industry and has to have the Jeep for work. Maybe it belonged to a family member who is deceased & it is important to them to keep it. It doesn't matter why. The OP came here with a set of constraints, asking for help. Telling her to do something she said can't be done is not helpful. Helpful is telling her what we know about each vehicle, and how to make her child as safe as possible given the constraints she presents.

As far as justifying something you didn't ask me to defend, I explained why we did what we did to show that responsible fathers sometimes make different decisions than the one you suggest and to show the OP that real world answers can be found on this forum.

I still fail to see where my post was somehow "degrading" when I explained where I was coming from ahead of time. Help doesn't have to come in the form of support for a choice, but sometimes rather a different option. How many times have you seen people come on here asking for assistance in one buying decision to be completely turned into a different one that they are ultimately extremely happy for receiving?

I didn't expect it to change the outcome, and I gave my perfectly valid, real-life, male perspective reasons to how cars especially, are a difficult change for us (see "mid-life crisis" for men). I wouldn't expect you or the OP to understand, but respect the different perspective.
 

kathysr98

Active member
I still fail to see where my post was somehow "degrading" when I explained where I was coming from ahead of time.

It's degrading because you are saying her husband needs to 'evolve' into a responsible parent and make the decision YOU believe to be correct. Therefore, you are saying he isn't a responsible parent. If that's not degrading, I'm not sure what is, unless you have information about the OP & her husband that has not been shared in this thread.
 

DawgDad

New member
It's degrading because you are saying her husband needs to 'evolve' into a responsible parent and make the decision YOU believe to be correct. Therefore, you are saying he isn't a responsible parent. If that's not degrading, I'm not sure what is, unless you have information about the OP & her husband that has not been shared in this thread.

I also specifically said that it doesn't make you a bad parent. Some never value the safety aspect. You did read that...right?
 

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