advice for approaching a friend

I have a good friend who recently began allowing her newly 8yo DD to ride in the front seat of her minivan, without a booster. Today her DD actually told me that I should know that my 8.5yo DS can now ride in the front too. My DS is 55in, approx 70lbs. I'm guessing her DD is an inch or so shorter, possibly slightly heavier (maybe 75-80lbs).

My DS rides in either a Frontier in booster mode (he was harnessed until about 4 months ago) or a Turbobooster. To be clear: I have no intention of letting him ride up front, despite the fact that he heard his friend and said to me, "She's so lucky she gets to ride in the front!"

My question, I guess, is: could there be new info on this that my friend is basing her decision on? If not, any suggestions as to approaching her about the issue?

In which state/province do you live? Laws vary greatly. What doesn't vary is physics (as you know). Best practice is best practice and she should be in a booster at least, and ideally in the back seat (which you also know )

Is your friend open-minded and willing to listen? It really depends on many factors how (and if) I would approach someone about this. I usually start with laws, then if they seem to be intrigued and not totally offended I move to adding a bit of best practice. I.e: when you're 12 and under (and you're 12 until you're 13), the back seat is safest by a great deal, boosters should be used until your child 5-steps, and so on.

I've come across some people even in places like Toys R Us who have their 3-year old with them and are looking at boosters, we strike up general friendly conversation then end up talking about car seat shopping, and they are absolutely SHOCKED to hear that it's not such a good idea to put a 3-year old in a booster seat. If they seem to have questions I will let them know that I am a CPST and am more than happy to answer questions or direct them to resources to help answer their questions. I had one lady cry because she genuinely didn't know that she may have been endangering her child.

The biggest word of advice I can pass along is to tread lightly and remember that although you're genuinely trying to help, some people take things differently than we intend for them to. I would do some research on laws/regulations in your area and get a feel for what you think she would be willing to listen to. Even if you can get the child back into a booster or even in the back seat it'd be a big step in the correct direction. It's awesome that you're trying to help!

Just to second the opinion- most people assume that being able to legally ride without a booster, as is the law in most states at age 8, means that it is also safe to ride like an adult.

Statistics still show the back seat is safest for kids. Proximity to frontal and offset crashes, and risk of intruction from the dash, airbags and A-pillars are the risks. 12 years and under in back is still the current guidance. As for booster use, some 8-year olds might pass the 5-step test and fit without a booster in some seating positions of some vehicles. I would guess that most 8-10 year olds still need a booster in most vehicles.

Convincing another parent is an entirely different matter. Many will be offended and interpret your helpful advice as an attack on their parenting or their child's freedom. It's a judgment call as to whether or not you even bring up the topic and how best to do it, especially if it is a friend.

Wow, that's one pushy, uh, I mean confident kid to tell you how your kid can ride in the car. One thought I had is that their vehicle manual probably says not to let anyone under 13 ride in the front. I don't know if that would matter to that parent, but if they need it from an authority, there you go. Good luck! It's great of you to try, but remember it may not be heard the way you mean it. I would have been very tempted to tell the kid when she said he could ride up front, no he cannot and this is why... Not that I would have been too graphic with a kid that age, but the gist about why seat belt fit is important, that back seat is safest, that my car manufacturer does not allow anyone under 13, etc.

I've shown kids crash test videos. I don't think's mean or harsh. We show them pictures of black lungs and people who have suffered from a life of smoking, and encourage them not to smoke by seeing what that future may hold for them. I believe it is giving them the information for why we make the safety seat choice we do for them. Obviously parent makes the final decision.

If they see this on TV: [ame]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5zWB4dLYChM[/ame]

Then it should be okay to watch this:
[ame]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrBQr0hqYyI[/ame]
[ame]http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AccYpfcElTs[/ame]

I'm sure there are more videos, but I've used this idea with great success with my daughter, her friends, and my friends. It isn't so much telling them what to do as it is showing them results of certain actions. I guess it gives them the power to then make an informed decision.

EmmasMom said:

I've shown kids crash test videos. I don't think's mean or harsh. We show them pictures of black lungs and people who have suffered from a life of smoking, and encourage them not to smoke by seeing what that future may hold for them. I believe it is giving them the information for why we make the safety seat choice we do for them. Obviously parent makes the final decision. If they see this on TV: Video Link: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5zWB4dLYChM Then it should be okay to watch this: Video Link: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrBQr0hqYyI Video Link: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AccYpfcElTs I'm sure there are more videos, but I've used this idea with great success with my daughter, her friends, and my friends. It isn't so much telling them what to do as it is showing them results of certain actions. I guess it gives them the power to then make an informed decision.

Click to expand...

I completely agree and great video!