Carpooling to a birthday party

PikkuMyy

New member
I feel like this is the only place I can vent about this, knowing that others will understand where I'm coming from.

My 7 year old was invited to a birthday party this coming Friday. School ends at 3:30 and the party is at 4, 20-30 minute drive from the school depending on traffic. The birthday boy's mom wrote on the invitation that she could take 4 boys (in addition to her turning 8 year old) in her car. I don't know her and I have no clue what she drives. Having watched other parents at pick up and from what my son says, many of his classmates don't ride in boosters. Some ride in the front seat.

That day is also national bike to school day and we planned to participate. I took the morning off work so that I could ride to school with my son. If I don't allow him to catch a ride with another parent, I need to adjust my schedule so that I can ride to school with him, ride back home and get the car, THEN drive to work. Complicated, but doable. :\

My son is impulsive, especially with friends around. I don't totally trust him to ride safely in a booster with his friends around. He's also very sensitive in some ways, and if he's the only one in a booster, I'm afraid he'll be picked on. He REALLY wants to go with his friends but I don't think I can do it. He also asked if we could transport some of his friends, which is fine with me, but they'll need to ride in boosters in my car. I'm afraid to suggest it to the other parents because I don't know any of them well and I get anxious about things like this. Would I tell the parents ahead of time that the boys will need to ride in boosters in my car?

Thanks for listening to my rambling!
 
ADS

seb3244

New member
I would definitely drive my own child and I would also offer to take others as long as they have a booster.
Just mention it to the parents when you see them "if you would like James to ride with us we would be happy to take him but please remember to leave James' booster at school so he can ride safely in our car"
 

jjordan

Moderator
Well, he's 7, so it's against the law for him to ride without a booster. I'm guessing that some of his friends are 7 too...? I would not bother to tell parents that kids will be riding in boosters in your car. Just have the boosters and tell the kids they need to ride in one.

My newly-8 year old was at a birthday party last week where the mom (whom I know pretty well) called and said they'd bring her home. I said, "do you want me to bring her booster to your house?" And mom seemed very surprised. "Oh! Um, well, we have one here that our dd outgrew that she can ride in." So... I let it go at that with the mom, and reminded dd that she needed to ride in a booster. The ride was probably half a mile on "safe" roads, so that helped my peace of mind. But yeah, this was the first time that something like this had happened, and it's scary. :(
 

PikkuMyy

New member
I would definitely drive my own child and I would also offer to take others as long as they have a booster.
Just mention it to the parents when you see them "if you would like James to ride with us we would be happy to take him but please remember to leave James' booster at school so he can ride safely in our car"

I have plenty of extra boosters. ;)
 

PikkuMyy

New member
Well, he's 7, so it's against the law for him to ride without a booster. I'm guessing that some of his friends are 7 too...? I would not bother to tell parents that kids will be riding in boosters in your car. Just have the boosters and tell the kids they need to ride in one.

My newly-8 year old was at a birthday party last week where the mom (whom I know pretty well) called and said they'd bring her home. I said, "do you want me to bring her booster to your house?" And mom seemed very surprised. "Oh! Um, well, we have one here that our dd outgrew that she can ride in." So... I let it go at that with the mom, and reminded dd that she needed to ride in a booster. The ride was probably half a mile on "safe" roads, so that helped my peace of mind. But yeah, this was the first time that something like this had happened, and it's scary. :(

My son is the youngest in his class. Our district has a 12/31 cut off and his birthday is 12/25. He's in 2nd grade. Many are already 8, some are still 7. Either way, none are tall enough to 5 step and there is absolutely no way in hell I'd allow Elias to go without a booster!

It's so scary as they get older. I feel like no one else gives it a second thought to offer a classmate a ride with or without a seat. :/
 

Keeyamah

Active member
Well, he's 7, so it's against the law for him to ride without a booster

Depending on the state (I have no clue if you and OP are in the same one) cause here in Idaho, once kids are 7, it's legal to be booster-less, regardless of height. Many view our "through the 6th year" as the child's 6th birthday :/.
 

bnsnyde

New member
Yes, I'd tell the parents to supply a booster (or if you have them then just say you have boosters available for each child). If that shocks them, good! It shows you follow the law and care about safety. (But I don't know the laws in your state). Even after age 7 I cannot see myself allowing kids without a booster. My own kids will have them until they 5 step, so it's a chance to let other parents know. Sometimes they have no clue, and then they see our van and they really didn't know certain things, like rear-facing a kid past 1 is a good, doable safe thing, etc. Or that kids older than 7 should still use boosters.

I typically don't see most 7 or 8-year-olds in boosters; and they use the front seat. Pretty scary. They are also breaking the law if they are 7 here.
 

CTPDMom

Ambassador - CPS Technician
jjordan and op are in the same state.

OP, my son is 8.5, and in the third grade. He still uses a booster. Most of his friends do not. Our law here in CT is 7 and 60lbs.

I always have spares, and both ds and I are very matter of fact about it. Last week I picked up another child from afterschool care for a planned playdate. I had two boosters waiting. He tried to sit in the middle (no booster) and I said 'Nice try, N! Gotta pick a booster! Bren will tell you, I'm a lot of fun but I'm a carseataholic and I don't bend on that!'. And then I just moved on. No issues.

The mother of this child is transporting kids to the trampoline park for a party this weekend. When she picked her son up that night I told her that N was surprised by the booster, and how it's just 'easier for me to make kids use it than doing the 5 step test' and that 'I know some of the kids pass the test in some cars and not others' so that they don't feel judged. (And they also have an opportunity to ask about the 'test', which she did.) I mentioned that I would be bringing a booster for B on Saturday and she had no issue.

Honestly, if you're self-deprecating about it...and if you use a little bribery (look, I have M&Ms for you boys to share!) as distraction...and if you encourage your son not to over think...it can be just fine. :)
 

MommyShannon

New member
I just always drive DD and offer to drive friends. I've only given 3 friends rides without parents. I was worried about boosters too. I just add Harmony youth boosters for the kids and none have questioned me yet. 2 I know use boosters most of the time and 1 I'm pretty sure doesn't use one.
 

E&A0607

New member
I too keep harmony lite riders in my third row. when friends come in my car they sit in them. we haven't had any issue so far. but I won't budge on it :)

we also live in a 12/31 cut of state. my 6 year old has a December birthday (she's in first grade). she still rides in a hbb most if the time. she's very tall though so she's almost outgrown her hb gracos.
 

jaemom

New member
I just tell my kids, and other kids, that every family has different rules and ours is you are in a booster until I say in my car. We have a few friends who are super car seat safe, and some that are totally not. I just give them the booster and say the boys know how to use them. I've never had a problem with it.
 

PikkuMyy

New member
My son is currently harnessed because we went on a long trip recently and I've been too lazy to switch the seat back to booster mode. When I told him that if we transport his friends, they'll need to ride in boosters, he said "and me too?!" excitedly. I may have to let him go backless. Sigh.

Does anyone have recommendations on boosters that would work for my 3rd row? I drive a 2008 Mazda 5. I usually put harnessed seats back there to avoid the booster dilemma. The shoulder belts are too far forward. I suspect that most, if not all no back boosters will be an issue with shoulder belt fit. I have 2 Turbos, 2 Harmony Cruz, 1 Harmony Youth Booster and a BubbleBum. I've often wondered if a Cosco Topside would pull the shoulder belt closer, but haven't tried.

Many parents have responded asking for rides. This is what I posted on the Evite page: "I can also give rides from school to *name of party place* if anyone needs them. However, I am unable to provide rides back from *name of party place*. I have room for 3 extra boys in my back seats! My phone number is (xxx) xxx-xxxx if anyone wants to catch a ride with E."

I'm not sure if anyone will actually take me up on my offer. I'm not close with many parents. I'm a bit anti-social. :p
 

E&A0607

New member
I think your response was great.

we have a top side (some lite riders, affix, Santa Fe, a TB, and a frontier in booster mode lol) and the strange routing if the belt didn't work for us. I know some people love it, but we like the lite rider a lot more. my 7.5 year old has a very long torso and we were looking for something for my moms Escape. we haven't been able to find a backless that works well in there, so she has a nice tall parkway (that either of my kids can use and a back up affix for when she has both kids).
 

jjordan

Moderator
I know that the booster issue for the third row of a Mazda 5 has come up here before. Did you try a search?
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
I tell parents that I have boosters if anyone needs them, but don't mention that their kid specifically needs one. I've had some kids just climb in a booster without a second thought, and some kids who balk. I tell the reluctant kids " ok, let's try without the booster and see how you fit", then go over the 5 step test with them. Lots of kids end up commenting in surprise that they think maybe they need a booster in some other car. If they do I ask them if they want a picture to take home so they can double check. One time I managed to talk a big lots manager into selling me 100 no backs for a dollar each and kids that rode with me on field trips were told they could keep the booster they rode in if they wanted. Suprisingly, almost every kid wanted to.

I only had one parent get mad that I made their kid use a booster, said I was infantilizing him. This, however, was the same parent that got mad at me for saying smoking is bad for you and filed a complaint with the school district saying that the after school program was promoting violence by letting the kids take apart Lego people they built, so crazy was kinda her norm. I also had one kid flat out refuse to sit in a booster, but he changed his tune when I pointed out that his options were to ride in the booster with me or go to the office and stay behind.
 
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seb3244

New member
My son is the youngest in his class. Our district has a 12/31 cut off and his birthday is 12/25. He's in 2nd grade. Many are already 8, some are still 7. Either way, none are tall enough to 5 step and there is absolutely no way in hell I'd allow Elias to go without a booster! It's so scary as they get older. I feel like no one else gives it a second thought to offer a classmate a ride with or without a seat. :/

That is scary!! Yeah my niece and nephew (I watched them last summer) right when I started to really learn about car seat safety and they were 8 and 10. So I never thought twice about them not being in a booster and their mom never gave me a booster for them. One day when we were driving I saw the seat belt on my 8 yr old nephews neck and was terrified. After finding out most kids don't 5 step until 10-12 I told my sil and she didn't care. So I just never left the house with them again. Her choice not to booster but my choice not to take them anywhere ya know.

I am glad you have extra boosters :)
 

jjordan

Moderator
I tell parents that I have boosters if anyone needs them, but don't mention that their kid specifically needs one. I've had some kids just climb in a booster without a second thought, and some kids who balk. I tell the reluctant kids " ok, let's try without the booster and see how you fit", then go over the 5 step test with them. Lots of kids end up commenting in surprise that they think maybe they need a booster in some other car. If they do I ask them if they want a picture to take home so they can double check. One time I managed to talk a big lots manager into selling me 100 no backs for a dollar each and kids that rode with me on field trips were told they could keep the booster they rode in if they wanted. Suprisingly, almost every kid wanted to.

I only had one parent get mad that I made their kid use a booster, said I was infantilizing him. This, however, was the same parent that got mad at me for saying smoking is bad for you and filed a complaint with the school district saying that the after school program was promoting violence by letting the kids take apart Lego people they built, so crazy was kinda her norm. I also had one kid flat out refuse to sit in a booster, but he changed his tune when I pointed out that his options were to ride in the booster with me or go to the office and stay behind.

Is there more to the story about the Big Lots boosters? Because if so, we totally need to hear it.
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
Is there more to the story about the Big Lots boosters? Because if so, we totally need to hear it.

Not really. I was in Big Lots (called MacFrugals at the time) and they had a a few pallets of $10 Cosco Ambassadors. I asked to talk to the manager and told him I was a car seat tech and was wondering if I can get a bulk discount on several of them to give give away at check events. He said sure and that I could have as many as I wanted at 1$ a piece. I had 100$ on me at the time, so I bought 100.
 

jjordan

Moderator
Not really. I was in Big Lots (called MacFrugals at the time) and they had a a few pallets of $10 Cosco Ambassadors. I asked to talk to the manager and told him I was a car seat tech and was wondering if I can get a bulk discount on several of them to give give away at check events. He said sure and that I could have as many as I wanted at 1$ a piece. I had 100$ on me at the time, so I bought 100.

Wow! That's amazing! I guess it just goes to show that you have nothing to lose by asking. :)
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
Wow! That's amazing! I guess it just goes to show that you have nothing to lose by asking. :)

Yep, as my mom says, the answer to an unasked request is always no.

You can get BSC from Ford by the box too. They come in boxes of 20. Found that out one day by accident because the guy ordered 15 CASES instead of 15 clips. That was in 2005 and I still haven't used them all.
 

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