I'm feeling off today so please excuse my lack of self-restraint but I've always been taken aback on these boards when I read about kids being embarrassed about their car seats and so few people (if any) speak up to say "don't be." I'm excited about the Incognito too but do we have to hail it as a cure for booster embarrassment? Why do our kids have to be embarrassed at all?
Several years ago when I only had two young rear facers my sil moved her two oldest boys out of boosters. She's a smaller lady and my bil is a husky guy. Their first son took after her and their second son (2 years younger) took after bil. From ages 3 and 1 they were taken for twins at best, or people assumed younger nephew was older because he was bigger. I'm sure you can imagine the burden that was for the boys and parents to carry.
Sil wisely went by size rather than age for car seats so younger nephew was restrained until he 5-stepped. Unfortunately he 5-stepped before older nephew. Sil looked for a seat to keep younger nephew in but he was just too big- he needed to use just the cars' belts. The problem was that the boys were very competitive as brothers can be and this was a huge stressor for the family so sil "graduated" older nephew from a booster too, even though he still needed one. I recall this vividly even though I was in lala-RFers land because while on a family reunion vacation sil was doing all she could not to drive anywhere because she was so nervous about older nephew riding without a booster. And yet this had been her decision! She really felt her hands were tied. Societal pressure, family pressure, and now unhappiness from older nephew being jealous of younger nephew were just too great. I really felt for her.
I didn't speak up about it for several reasons but it stuck with me and I became "that" parent about car seats- but with a twist. NO ONE in my presence is allowed to make comments about child restraints and age or even use the word "little."
My children are still in car seats because they are "small" (in terms of size) but not "little" (too many age-related connotations). Rear facing is not for "babies," it's simply safer (unless you're the driver- I always try to interject humor). Car seats are based on size as are life jackets. How long will you last stranded at sea if your life jacket is too big to fit well? My kids know the skeleton/Twinkie thing first hand as we have a relative that landed himself in the hospital because his seatbelt was worn improperly.
And I have avoided posting this because I assumed I would get flamed for homeschooling. Because I homeschool there is no drop-off lane where other kids see my kids in car seats. And that's true. I'm absolutely certain my helicopter parenting has prevented a vast amount of teasing. But it has happened and as the mom (who is always there) I explain our choices and then laugh along with them about how "overprotective" I am. (I've learned through trial and error it's rude to point out they are being "under protective.") And then later I go over with my kids yet again the reasons they are still in car seats.
But then this happened: My 6yo used a Graco Connext box to make his Valentine box for our homeschool group's Valentine party. Apparently as I was manning a craft table someone asked my son if that was his car seat on the box. He replied no, it was 11yo's. This got back to 11yo, and not in the most respectful manner. I didn't hear about this until that night at dinner when she very proudly told us how she handled it. She tried the Twinkie analogy but they weren't getting it. So she used the life jacket one and they got that. "My conclusion," (this kid cracks me up), "was that it's no more appropriate to make fun of a kid in a car seat than to make fun of a kid in glasses- I need a booster to fit in a seatbelt just as much as they need glasses to see."
So I guess this is a brag post. And since I'm being honest I'll admit it's a brag post on me. I taught her to parrot those words. But look! She's 11yo and not embarrassed to need a booster! Maybe next time my 5'4" self goes to buy a car I'll bring an incognito so I don't have to limit myself to only the cars in which I can see over the hood. (Although I do wish they came in pretty colors. If I'm going to accessorize I'd like to make a statement.)
Several years ago when I only had two young rear facers my sil moved her two oldest boys out of boosters. She's a smaller lady and my bil is a husky guy. Their first son took after her and their second son (2 years younger) took after bil. From ages 3 and 1 they were taken for twins at best, or people assumed younger nephew was older because he was bigger. I'm sure you can imagine the burden that was for the boys and parents to carry.
Sil wisely went by size rather than age for car seats so younger nephew was restrained until he 5-stepped. Unfortunately he 5-stepped before older nephew. Sil looked for a seat to keep younger nephew in but he was just too big- he needed to use just the cars' belts. The problem was that the boys were very competitive as brothers can be and this was a huge stressor for the family so sil "graduated" older nephew from a booster too, even though he still needed one. I recall this vividly even though I was in lala-RFers land because while on a family reunion vacation sil was doing all she could not to drive anywhere because she was so nervous about older nephew riding without a booster. And yet this had been her decision! She really felt her hands were tied. Societal pressure, family pressure, and now unhappiness from older nephew being jealous of younger nephew were just too great. I really felt for her.
I didn't speak up about it for several reasons but it stuck with me and I became "that" parent about car seats- but with a twist. NO ONE in my presence is allowed to make comments about child restraints and age or even use the word "little."
My children are still in car seats because they are "small" (in terms of size) but not "little" (too many age-related connotations). Rear facing is not for "babies," it's simply safer (unless you're the driver- I always try to interject humor). Car seats are based on size as are life jackets. How long will you last stranded at sea if your life jacket is too big to fit well? My kids know the skeleton/Twinkie thing first hand as we have a relative that landed himself in the hospital because his seatbelt was worn improperly.
And I have avoided posting this because I assumed I would get flamed for homeschooling. Because I homeschool there is no drop-off lane where other kids see my kids in car seats. And that's true. I'm absolutely certain my helicopter parenting has prevented a vast amount of teasing. But it has happened and as the mom (who is always there) I explain our choices and then laugh along with them about how "overprotective" I am. (I've learned through trial and error it's rude to point out they are being "under protective.") And then later I go over with my kids yet again the reasons they are still in car seats.
But then this happened: My 6yo used a Graco Connext box to make his Valentine box for our homeschool group's Valentine party. Apparently as I was manning a craft table someone asked my son if that was his car seat on the box. He replied no, it was 11yo's. This got back to 11yo, and not in the most respectful manner. I didn't hear about this until that night at dinner when she very proudly told us how she handled it. She tried the Twinkie analogy but they weren't getting it. So she used the life jacket one and they got that. "My conclusion," (this kid cracks me up), "was that it's no more appropriate to make fun of a kid in a car seat than to make fun of a kid in glasses- I need a booster to fit in a seatbelt just as much as they need glasses to see."
So I guess this is a brag post. And since I'm being honest I'll admit it's a brag post on me. I taught her to parrot those words. But look! She's 11yo and not embarrassed to need a booster! Maybe next time my 5'4" self goes to buy a car I'll bring an incognito so I don't have to limit myself to only the cars in which I can see over the hood. (Although I do wish they came in pretty colors. If I'm going to accessorize I'd like to make a statement.)