Dh not as concerned w/ car seat safety as i am

seb3244

New member
So let's start this w/ the fact that 8 yrs ago when I met DH my step daughter was 6 yrs old & never even seat belted let alone boostered. I went crazy when I found this out and made him seat belt her. I had no clue about boosters or anything. DH still barely wears a seat belt... Maybe 25% of the time now.

So we have a 19 month old dd & she is rf-ing in a britax advocate. She is in the 90% for height and weight. & I still have her in the middle of my back seat in my 1997 ford f250. A while back I sent him a link in an email to Joel's Story (about extended rf-ing) & let him know that dd will be rf-ing until she out grows the limits on her seat (as close to 4 as possible). He agreed & said that was a good idea after having seen that video.

The other day he puts dd in her seat & said when can we turn her around she is too big for this seat. Her legs are sqwished. I told him that she will rf until she out grows her seat's rf limits. I will most likely be purchasing her a radian or graco or something to get her as close to 4 as possible rf but for now she is fine.

Here is my dilemma I am currently 21 weeks preg & when I have baby #2 dd will be with DH while I am in the hospital. He doesn't know how to install the seat & doesn't understand how important a good install is and apparently doesn't remember how important rf-ing is.

He traded me vehicles this weekend & his is an expedition & he had it packed full of stuff from work including metal shingles that can easily cut a person. let alone in an accident could kill someone & when I asked him to get them out he said I just worry too much so I removed them myself.
How do I make him understand how important car seat safety is to me & how important a good install is & extended rear facing? I am going to be so stressed while in the hospital w/ baby #2 knowing dd1 may or may not be properly restrained.

Thanks if you got this far :)
 
ADS

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
IME, you can't make him understand. You can however bribe him to go along with your wishes. Figure out something he wants, and make a deal.
 

seb3244

New member
Why is he going to have to install/uninstall seats while you are in the hospital?

He may take dd to his sisters if he has to work. It will depend how long I am in the hospital. He can take a few days off work but may have to work after that.
Sis in law is very lax about car seat safety as well. Her 9 & 10 yr old's don't 5 step yet & she has had them in just seat belts in the front seat even since 7 & 8.

I have let sis in law take her but only when I installed the seat.
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
Well, one good thing, you can totally get away with installing a seat in SIL's and DH's car way ahead of time due to "nesting hormones".
 

seb3244

New member
Well, one good thing, you can totally get away with installing a seat in SIL's and DH's car way ahead of time due to "nesting hormones".

Oh I like this idea!! This means I would need to purchase an extra car seat haha! You are an enabler lol but heck I am okay with it & we were going to get another one eventually anyway :)
 

Nedra

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Oh I like this idea!! This means I would need to purchase an extra car seat haha! You are an enabler lol but heck I am okay with it & we were going to get another one eventually anyway :)

If I were in your shoes, I would consider the Nextfit. If you have the Cartwheel coupon, you can get a great deal at Target right now. Plus they're good for ERF and (perhaps most importantly in your situation) extremely easy to install.
 

MommyShannon

New member
My had a coworker who buckled her kids but rarely herself. My mom would point out how traumatic it would be for her kids to watch her go through the windshield. She buckled up one day and survived an "in survivable" accident. There is a good video about projectiles and buckling where there isn't a car, it's the family acting as the seatbelt...I will try to find it. DH does ok installing some car seats, but I install when possible. He occasionally comments about my views being too much, but ultimately gets it and goes with it. [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6ZKVdKTWww&app=desktop"]Awesome "Buckle Up" PSA Commercial - YouTube[/ame]
Projectiles
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE8sLDkwT_Q&sns=em"]ADAC - Crash Test: holiday luggage can kill - YouTube[/ame]
 

1mommy

New member
He probably will never understand and will still roll his eyes at things that you insist upon, but if you insist and put your foot down for the safety of your children how can he really object??

Marriage is about flexibility and give and take so I would point out how you go by his wishes when it comes to something else and tell him this is a line in the sand I am drawing for the safety of our children. Be firm and tell him that you will and do compromise on other things so the least he can do is abide by your wishes on this one area.
 

Athena

Well-known member
Can he use your car while you're in the hospital? Then you know the car seat is installed correctly and there are no dangerous projectiles.

I would require he wear his seat belt while you or your kids are in the car because his body can become a dangerous projectile and he owes his family at least that much. Otherwise, you knew he didn't buckle when you married him, but you can put down your foot for the safety of your children and buy some good life insurance on your DH so that his selfishness is less of a risk for you and your kids.
 

seb3244

New member
If I were in your shoes, I would consider the Nextfit. If you have the Cartwheel coupon, you can get a great deal at Target right now. Plus they're good for ERF and (perhaps most importantly in your situation) extremely easy to install.

Yeah! I live the nextfit. I am going to go try dd out in a nextfit & a radian & a graco headwise but nextfit is my fav so far from what I see.
 

seb3244

New member
I totally second the bribing. Say, maybe, no poopy diapers for a week?

Lol DH has only changed 2 diapers in the 19 months dd has been alive. He told me before we had kids that he doesn't love the baby stage and I told him not to worry that baby stage is my fav. We did trade him paying all the bills & handling the finances for me doing diapers... Except when I am gone and he is watching dd then he has to change her. I am not usually gone much without her though. Also he wasn't allowed to complain ever about cloth diapers & fluffy mail haha. I have completely over bought on cloth diapers (hide)...
 

seb3244

New member
My had a coworker who buckled her kids but rarely herself. My mom would point out how traumatic it would be for her kids to watch her go through the windshield. She buckled up one day and survived an "in survivable" accident. There is a good video about projectiles and buckling where there isn't a car, it's the family acting as the seatbelt...I will try to find it. DH does ok installing some car seats, but I install when possible. He occasionally comments about my views being too much, but ultimately gets it and goes with it. Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6ZKVdKTWww&app=desktop Projectiles Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE8sLDkwT_Q&sns=em

Wow thanks for these links. Me and my pregnancy hormones cried when I saw the daughter & wife being the seat belts. So true though...
And all that luggage geez!
 

seb3244

New member
He probably will never understand and will still roll his eyes at things that you insist upon, but if you insist and put your foot down for the safety of your children how can he really object?? Marriage is about flexibility and give and take so I would point out how you go by his wishes when it comes to something else and tell him this is a line in the sand I am drawing for the safety of our children. Be firm and tell him that you will and do compromise on other things so the least he can do is abide by your wishes on this one area.

Yes that is good now if I can just convince him to get a pool fence ...
 

NatNat's Mom

New member
My had a coworker who buckled her kids but rarely herself. My mom would point out how traumatic it would be for her kids to watch her go through the windshield. She buckled up one day and survived an "in survivable" accident. There is a good video about projectiles and buckling where there isn't a car, it's the family acting as the seatbelt...I will try to find it. DH does ok installing some car seats, but I install when possible. He occasionally comments about my views being too much, but ultimately gets it and goes with it. Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6ZKVdKTWww&app=desktop
Projectiles
Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE8sLDkwT_Q&sns=em

OMG that first one gave me chills & brought tears to my eyes! I will never understand how some people still refuse to wear a seatbelt...
 

Pixelated

Moderator - CPST Instructor
If videos are effective then this is another for wearing his belt. It's not just himself he's putting at risk, it's all of you.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKHY69AFstE"]Julie knew her killer - seatbelt road safety advert - YouTube[/ame]
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
Thanks for this video. I can see him saying his body would not hit anyone because he is the one driving when we go places & because he drives alone (for work all day long).

I am going to show this to my best friend though.
Thanks again!

Is he political? Maybe you can sway him with the idea that if he is injured or killed, taxpayer money is what pays for the investigation and road clean up. Oh, another idea, when I was a kid, my dad started making us all wear seatbelts after he was in a minor crash and he had to pay OOP for stitches in his head since he hadn't met the deductible yet. By the time we reached the deductible, it was a habit.
 

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