Question What to do in real life?

1mommy

New member
So I'm great about giving car seat advice to strangers on the internet but I don't know what to say in real life. I have a work friend who just posted pictures of her daughter (around 11 months) with the caption so excited to be turned around. Now I recall her telling me get daughter is in the 99th percentile for height and weight so it's entirely possible she hit 40 pounds already (in a graco convertible). I doubt she has the money to buy a radian or a foonf but I hate seeing her daughter like that. Do I message her on Facebook and ask point blank if her daughter hit 40 pounds and suggest buying a foonf? Do I casually mention it at work and suggest she see a CSPT (the only ones around here are at fire stations). Do I remind her to at least top tether if she doesn't have the budget for a new seat? And suggest buying the Frontier 90 to keep her daughter harnessed as long as possible? (I know it has a 2 year minimum, but this does this count as extenuating circumstances?). Thanks
 
ADS

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Where in NoVA are you? In many parts of NoVA, there are CPST's who are outside of firestations and police stations (in fact, I know a secondary school teacher and a government engineer who are both CPST's!).

If her daughter is in the 99%, she is probably more like 26-28 pounds, not 40 (99% and 40 pounds would be more like age 2.75-3). She should have PLENTY of growing room in MANY different seats, her Graco included (unless it is the spawn of the dreadful ComfortSport).

A forward-facing seat is not an option for an 11-month-old. Period. There are way too many options out there for a child, even a large child, to remain in a safe position. She shouldn't need a Foonf unless the child is extremely large (the size of an average three-to-four-year-old), and even then, it is likely not required. A Graco MySize (or one of its clones) would likely work well.
 

1mommy

New member
Thanks now that it's not 4:00 a.m I'm thinking a little more clear, my first thought was no way she would turn her DD around before one, but then I slept and realized not every parent is aware if the risks, I can understand her thinking what's one month in the grand scheme if things? Especially if she is the size of most 2 year olds. I'm in Prince William County. I think she is in a size for me clone, when I see her at work tomorrow I'll try to bring it up in a conversation, does anyone have a good tech recommendation for PW county?
 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
Darn. I don't know any CPST's in Prince William County. :( Everyone I know is in Chantilly, Arlington, or Alexandria. :(

I'll see if I can find a contact, though. :)
 

YinzerMama

New member
Does she have older kids?

I think that rather than jumping in heavy and pushing her towards experts I would say more casually "Hey did you know they changed the guidelines for turning around to at least two years old or until the seat is outgrown? How heavy is she?"

I think a lot of people still consider 1 to be the benchmark.

It's funny, I turned my oldest at 14 months and felt fine about that.. he was a big kid but I am sure not at the limits of his seat - as looking back I don't even know what those limits were. The old roundabout so maybe 33? But I did it because he was over 20 pounds and he was 1. Now I feel my almost 3yo is still so tiny to think of going ff.

I went to the movies with a friend yesterday and I asked if she wanted me to drive, I could throw an extra seat in the van. She has a son who is 4 months younger than mine. She leaned in and whispered "He's still rearfacing" like she was admitting to smuggling heroin in his diaper. I said mine was too and she said oh good because most people think she is nuts. I think the 1yo rule is still just very much alive.

It is highly unlikely a 1yo is 40 pounds.
 

jacqui276

New member
Agreed with the others that it s very very unlikely that her 11 month old is 40+lbs. DS has always been off the charts in size and is almost 2 and is still a few pounds away from 40. That being said, I did meet a 55lbs 2 year old fairly recently but he was tall and morbidly obese.

I would probably approach it lightly and mention that the new recommendations are to rear face until at least two and offer to provide her with some links/references about it. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of educating. I turned DD at 10 months old because she reached the limit of her seat RFing. Even though she had not met the legal minimum, I didn't even know that I had options to continue to RF her. I felt fine about it at the time, although now that I know better I am mortified to admit that I turned her around so young.

On the other hand, sometimes you can educate as much as you want and it still won't make any difference (other than maybe put a strain on your friendship). If she is absolutely being resistant to it, you could recommend that she at least use the top tether and get it checked by a tech. The majority of my friends flipped their kids around on their 1st birthday and it makes me sad but I don't berate them for it since they are not willing to change despite being educated. They all know my stance on it though.

I actually got a ride from a coworker fairly recently and he has a son who is 25 months and he had a RFing marathon installed (snugly and rear tethered). I almost peed my pants I was so excited that someone else has their kid RFing beyond one, but I tried to not make a big scene.
 

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