9 yo with ADHD

cousin2many

New member
Car riding with him from the time he was an infant was never pleasant unless he was sleeping because that was the only time he wasn't yelling or bouncing or carrying on like a crazy child. My cousin recently let him stop riding in his low back booster and he's gotten 10 times worse. He'll be a regular distraction in my back seat starting sometime in the next couple of months. He's all of 52" tall and 60lbs. Yes I could put him back into a harnessed carseat but is that the longterm answer? He is still yelling, poking the baby in the infant carseat, can't sit still, lays down in the seat. When he gets corrected and told to stop what he is doing in the car, he picks another dangerous behavior...playing with the seat belt, adjusting the baby's seat belt, trying to get down behind the seat to lay down.

HELP...how do we handle this? His usual car rides are about 5-10 minutes these days and they will be getting longer (20-30 minute minimum) when he's my regular car passenger.
 
ADS

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
That sounds like more than ADHD that is affecting him. Much of that behavior sounds more like conduct disorder and/or oppositional defiant disorder. This behavior must stop. Now.

I don't think a carseat is the answer right now. Instead (or at least "in addition to"), it sounds as if behavioral therapy is in order. Immediately. Restraining this child is not going to fix the issue with him yelling, which is a distraction to you as a driver. Restraining this child is likely not going to fix the issue with him messing with other passengers in the car, which is again a distraction to you as a driver.

I am assuming this child is the child of your cousin?
 

cousin2many

New member
Yes he is and my cousin and I are going to be living together with her three children, with me doing the bulk of the child care during the day so that she can work.
 

Patriot201

Car-Seat.org Ambassador
I would let her know that you cannot transport her child unless he can be safe in the vehicle, and that you believe that may require getting professional assistance.

I am assuming that this child also has behavioral difficulties outside the car?
 

cousin2many

New member
He has a hard time in the classroom...he attends a small local charter school, 2 classes per grade from k-8, so maybe 400 kids. He gets several suspensions per year...although his father (my cousin's soon to be ex-husband) encourages some of the behaviors that gets him suspended...the marshall arts in school (his father tells him that any time any one makes the start of a fight motion he's supposed to kick butt with his training), he gets in trouble for not concentrating and distracting his classmates, the only time he sit stills and is semi-calm is when he's playing video games. I watched him for a week straight 2 summers ago and we spent an entire week not watching tv for more than an hour each day, playing no video games, and burning through all his energy...low and behold he's asked me more than once when we can have a video game break and just have fun. He was a different child that week without the video games and technology...calmer, easier to manage, more respectful, just generally more like the really sweet little boy I remember him being. I notice his issues mostly in places that quiet and calm are needed...at older family member's houses I typically end up taking him out in the yard to run off some extra energy before we have another chat to set him up again to hopefully succeed and I can typically help him be successful 75% of the time.
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
First off, I would try the no video games EXCEPT a hand held device in the car as long as he sits still.

Second, I'd start doing some serious car training where you set up a time to drive around, no destination in mind, and stop every time he needs to be reset. Take him out of the car to do jumping jack's or pushups or otherwise burn off energy, since that's what you normally have success with. Build up his tolerance for sitting correctly for car rides.
 

flipper68

Senior Community Member
Using a NBB might help by giving him a better sense of his proper "space."

At his age, the promise of an E-Z on vest, 86-Y, or return to a 5 pt harness might help him better manage his in car behavior.

I also agree with using a hand held device for "vehicle in motion only."
 

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