elle7715
Member
I'm steaming right now and I've been wanting to get on and vent since yesterday!I knew you guys would understand and have my back on this. Yesterday we went out to lunch with DHs grandma and great grandparents. It went pretty well considering. They know what I do and don't allow (we went over and over it when DD was a baby) but they're still pushing those same freakin buttons. After she tried to feed DS a breadstick (yes a whole one) I took him from her. He's not even on baby food yet, which to them is child abuse . Apparently DD starved to death when she refused solids too. So after they mentioned that about a billion times she moved on to their next favorite subject - DD rear facing. I ignored her. I think it was loud enough to get away with it. The rest went pretty well until we walked out to the parking lot together. She had some pictures she wanted to give us. She drives one of those huge travel vans...with 2 captains chairs and a bench seat in the back. DD climbed in and was playing on the bench seat. Her big thing lately is trying to sit in a seat like us, with just a seatbelt. It has nothing to do with FFing or RFing, in my mom's car and my friends car she's FFing and still tries to sit in the middle without a seat. Obviously that's never happening for the next 8-12 years. So she was sitting on the bench seat all proud of herself. Grandma starts saying she'll just take her home with her up north...another pet peeve of mine but that's another story. THEN she asks if we want to meet her over at Sam's Club. After a few seconds of us talking I realize she wants me to let DD ride in her van. I knew exactly what she was asking but to sidestep her I said "No, I don't want to move the car seat." Then she starts going on about how she can ride in this chair (the captain's) and we could seatbelt her in. So yes, not only was she suggesting that we not use a carseat, but she would have let her ride on the bench seat in back WITHOUT A SEATBELT. I was blown away. Then DH chimes in! And instead of supporting me he tries to talk me into it! "It's just a 2 minute drive, come on, just use the seatbelt, etc" I said absolutely NOT, she's only 26 lbs, and there's no way that's happening for years to come. They were both mad at me and were rolling their eyes. I know his grandma thinks I'm a nut but I was shocked that DH was so unsupportive. And it was NOT 'just' a 2 minute drive. I would have said no even if it was a neighborhood drive, but to get there you have to get on a busy road with multiple intersections, train tracks, and it's 45mph speed limit. Accidents happen on that strip all the time. DH stayed mad at me the whole way home. I told him to never bug me about something like that again, because my answer will always be no. He asked why and I said "Aside from the fact that it's illegal?". He said "I thought you said Michigan didn't have any carseat laws" :dizzy: So all this time I've been tellling him how crappy our laws were and trying to get new laws passed and he thought that there weren't any. I'm so upset. Now I know I can't trust him to do the right thing if I'm not there. I knew I couldn't trust the grandparents and his parents, which is why they will never take DD in a car without me there. She's never been left alone with them either (her choice). But now I can't trust DH, and I'm so heartbroken over that. He knows how strongly I feel about carseat safety but he refuses to learn anything about it. I tried to show him how to install the carseats and he didn't care. He thinks he'll never have to do it without me, but he already has had to. He let his dad install DDs carseat once because he didn't know how. His dad installed it FFing with the wrong belt path. He just DOESN'T get it. To add insult to injury he told me that he doesn't think DD will need a carseat up north to drive around town, and he won't 'make' her use one. I told him there's no way she'll be going anywhere without me then, and I mean it. He's angry but this is something I absolutely will not compromise on. I'm not surprised about the grandmother...when DD was 9 months old she tried to get us to take an 8 hour trip to Ohio to see familly DH doesn't even remember. We said no and she was angry because we "could just lay the seat back down and sleep with her all the way down". But how could I not know DH was this untrustworthy? I know I talk about car seats too much but I thought he was absorbing some of it.
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