"I know how you feel about carseats but we'll be careful.... "

MsFacetious

New member
:mad: So my girls have a dr's appointment this afternoon.

We have had an incredibly bad run of luck with cars lately. My Mom's truck my Dad's truck and my van are all broken at the moment. My Dad took his truck in yesterday morning with the Regents in it. They didn't get to it yesterday so they are trying to fix it today.

So I tell my Dad I need to know in time whether it will be done so I can go pull the seats out of it. To put in my brother's car when he gets home 1 hour before our appointment. Luckily they are easy to put in his car. I tell my Dad either that or we need to go get another set of seats which we need anyways.

He says, "Or we can just put them in the back of the 6 (635 BMW) and strap them in. I know how you feel about carseats but we'll be careful."

LMAO... uh huh yeah right and then I'll let them play in the street! :eek:

This is why I waited at the hospital an extra 4 hours last week for my 16 YEAR old brother to get home from school. So he could buckle the kids in to come up and get me instead of my Dad... see, that's how much faith I have in him to use the seats correctly. IF he uses them at all!

Reminds me of my mother in law saying we would just use booster's for a trip to Minnesota because flying with carseats was too difficult. (Guess what, we didn't go to Minnesota after all!)

They don't get it.. drive me insane. My kids are 3 and 4 years old... they are riding in their carseats or they aren't riding at all! :thumbsdown:
 
ADS

arly1983

New member
Yeah,

my family doesn't understand either....

My precious 3 yr old cousin is in a booster. She would be in nothing if I hadn't bought her the booster her mom insisted on...

Then Sunday at the party they leave her at my house to ride back home with me WITHOUT the booster......Unbelievable....I put her in our radian...
 

MsFacetious

New member
Apparently! Because you know, my Dad must have just not been careful enough in the other several accidents he's been in.

They are not going to get to his truck to fix it until Thursday, so he is going to pick it up and bring it back. No huge battle, no moving carseats... whew. Just a reminder why I leave the vehicle with the carseats whenever I leave the kids with my parents! I don't trust them not to go anywhere even if they don't have seats.

I'm afraid it'll only get worse as they get older and are "big enough". *Sigh*
 

heyruthie

New member
It's hard. My mom was using old ugly seats for my boys in her car, and I finally decided to just go out and buy some new seats for her car (which she insisted she didn't want me to do.) The old ones were only about 4 years old, but they just looked terrible, and were Cosco seats to begin with. This was in hopes that it would motivate her to use the new "pretty ones" correctly.

The problem with her misuse is an old arguemnt between us, but it became unendurable when recently my 5 year old kept asking, upon entering the car, "Are we going on the highway??" Finally, I asked my Dad, "What's he talking about," and my dad explained that "Grandma's rule" was that they only had to buckle the plastic chest clip of their seats, if they weren't going on "the highway." they didn't have to use the buckle at all for 90% of their trips! I almost blew a fuse.

So, off I went to get new seats. When I de-installed the old seats in her car, they were all tangled, with straps and buckles willy-nilly through any old hole in the seat, and tether anchors wrapped around the headrests, etc.

So, for the first time yesterday, I saw her use the new seats with the kids. It didn't make a bit of difference. She still left the harness on the little guy's seat so loose that he had 6 inches of slack, and the big guy's belt wasn't even routed through the new booster.

I'm trying to keep things "kind and gentle" with her, since I am tempted to really "let her have it" but I'm struggling! If I fight with her, it will only get worse. So, for my kids' sake, I've got to keep things "educational" instead of "confrontational."
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
I'm trying to keep things "kind and gentle" with her, since I am tempted to really "let her have it" but I'm struggling! If I fight with her, it will only get worse. So, for my kids' sake, I've got to keep things "educational" instead of "confrontational."

Some people need to be educated like this,

not buckling my kids up properly=my kids not going in your car. Period. Not a confrontation, just a simple statement of fact. You don't need to justify your stand point. just repeat the fact.

They are YOUR kids. You have every right to expect any person you leave them with to protect them in the way you YOU decide is right. No one has the right to decide to put YOUR kids in danger. No right at all. If they want to provide more safety than you have decided is the minimum you are comfortable with, fine. But less safety is totally not acceptable. If your parents really want the privilege of driving YOUR kids around, then they will follow the rules.
 

MsFacetious

New member
So after that experience, we went ahead and went to our dr's appointment. My Dad's truck just needed a new battery so it was fixed. We left early to hit BRU to look at seats, it's right next to the dr.

On my way to the freeway there is a bunch of construction, putting in new lights, building new offices, ect. I went that way because it's more direct, and to see how the progress was coming.

I was being very very careful... (I've got to be the most paranoid driver I know, I swear) next thing I knew a DUMP TRUCK flew through a newly placed red light only missing me because I saw him coming and accelerated. (Never been so thankful for the Hemmi in that truck in my life.) Had I seen him coming a second later, or not been looking both ways through the intersection because my light was green, he would have t boned us. On the drivers side, in the back. He had been heading down the left turn lane behind another dump truck, then swerved into the straight lane because traffic was stopped.

FORTUNATELY it was a dumptruck following me that he nailed. Everyone was okay. However, in the 635 my Dad wanted to take them over in, no one could have seen the dumptruck coming. I only saw him coming because I could see more because I was sitting higher. In the 6 series he would have creamed us and at least one if not both of my kids would be dead.

THIS is why I am so careful. I was pretty freaked out at how close of a call it was. When I was giving my statement to the cops I explained the events of the morning. The cop that was talking to me was pretty good with seats, he even knew what the Regent was. He pointed out that even though I avoided the dumptruck, doing so involved some "Evasive manuvers" and the kids would have been injured even in the truck. He's right, I had to accelerate to get out of his way then slam on my brakes and swerve onto the sidewalk, to not rear end the people at the light in front of me. (Two lights way too close together in my opinion.)

The one that ran the red light said it was because it was new and so he didn't see it. The cop cited him anyways, as well as for speeding. He didn't slow down at all for the intersection.

After I looked around I realized the person behind the dumptruck he nailed also had little kids in her car.... things can happen so fast people have to pay attention! I'm so fortunate I've only ever had real close calls up to this point. But at least the day someone finally nails me I know my kids are restrained as well as they can be. I realize it may not be enough if I'm t boned by a dumptruck... but at least I will know I did all I could. That it wasn't my laziness or neglect that caused me to lose my kids.

My Dad's response.... "well if we had taken the 6 we wouldn't have gone that way".

Yeah... it's true, he just doesn't get it.
 
B

broxbourneDELETE

Guest
Scanning while driving is something I also find very important, and is a very conscious activity (for me). I am glad you and your daughters were not hurt.

ETA: Paranoia/scanning saved your life today! Your father has got to secretly know that he has forever lost the carseat fight with you.
 
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Avery'sMama

CPST Instructor
OH! How tragic and scary! My in-laws ONCE drove my DD, 18 months, to a neighbors house because "it was cold" in a seatbelt alone. I sat them down and said that it was NEVER going to happen again. I helped them get appropriate car seats and have taught them to install them and use them correctly. I check them EVERY time I leave the kids with them, EVERY time I go over it with them again, EVERY time I ask them if they have questions. I think they have got it by now and my MIL even told a co-worker that she should have be check her seats!! My mom and sister were in a serious crash on the way to my grandma's (20mins, country roads) and my mom had over 40 bone breaks and spent 3 weeks in the trauma/burn ICU, my sister had a cerebreal hematoma and emergency brain surgery. It was a "short country drive" on a beautiful July day. They very nearly died. I have to say, I've been pretty serious and difficult with my IL's, but they now know that having the kids means using the seats correctly. Glad you are OK, my prayers with the other family :(
 

ThreeBeans

New member
I'm trying to keep things "kind and gentle" with her, since I am tempted to really "let her have it" but I'm struggling! If I fight with her, it will only get worse. So, for my kids' sake, I've got to keep things "educational" instead of "confrontational."

No, for your kids' sake you need to take a stand. You can 'gently discuss' this for months or years but it won't do you a damn bit of good if your mother is an accident tomorrow that kills your children.

Sorry to be blunt about something so horrible, but this isn't something to play armchair psychologist about.
 

keri1292

Well-known member
:yeahthat:
I haven't found a kind and gentle way to say "Please don't kill my children". :( My in-laws have never operated a car with my kids in it. They don't use car seats properly. Among other things.:rolleyes:

SingleMomTo2Girls ~ You're defensive driving and your ability to hold your ground with your parents definitely prevented a tragedy for your family. I'm glad everyone is fine.
 

safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
Not that this happens all that often, but sometimes being careful means choosing the crash you want to be in.

Several years ago, I was driving on I880 in Cali in the second lane from the right, when a mazda Miata spun out in the fast lane. After spining twice he came to a stop sideways across my lane. There was a tractor trailer on the right about even with my back axle, and a motorcycle on my left. Having nowhere to go that could possibly avoid a crash of some sort, I chose to broadside the rig. If I had T-boned the Miata going 65 mph, We'd probably both be dead (DD1 also). If I had hit the motorcycle ( with a 3/4 ton truck) I would have killed the rider. I was very scary to deliberately crash into a big rig. When I made the decision, I looked at the truck driver for a split second, he saw what was coming, nodded his head, and we both held on for dear life to keep from spinning out ourselves when we hit. He said later that he saw it all happening and was yelling at me to get over and was as far over on the shoulder as he could get.
 

skaterbabs

Well-known member
That must have been terrifying! I've had some bad wrecks, but the worst ones never involved another car.
 

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