Using carriers as baby holders

littleangelfire · Sep 22, 2007

My family goes to a bowling homegroup from our church twice a month. Last week something awful happened! There's this couple there, later in life first time parents, the baby is 3-4 months old. And I must say, I've been irritated in the past (not that I have a right to be~) Because #1 - they chose a 3 point infant seat, and #2 they use it ALL the time to just sit their baby in, when any number of people would be happy to hold him or they could hold him themselves. That's just a pet peeve, the second one, drives me nuts that the car seat has become a baby prop nowadays. Babies are in them all the time even though if I remember correctly the manual advises against such use. I don't remember exactr wording but doesn't it say something about for use in the car or stroller? Not for extended periods of time? Anyways, they had him sitting in the carrier on top of a table, which I didn't think was any too smart, but figured he was buckled. HE WASN'T!!!! He arched his back, stretching, flipped out of it, hit his head on the table then a screwed down chair right next to it befor he hit the tiled floor and the metal table leg! I was shocked. How can someone NOT know better on that? I mean, I'm sure they've seen him roll over at home by now, how can they not think that perhaps he'll roll over in his car seat, too? And, then, neither parent seemed to awfully worried about it. They didn't call the doctor, just figured he was alright cuz they could get him to stop crying, and were listening to other well meaning people telling them that they were sure he was alright, their kids went through so much worse and survived. Just had to share. Its been bugging me all week. I won't even know how the baby is until next week - they don't actually go to our church anymore, just the group. He's probably alright, but sheesh!!! Forget reading the manual that just seemed common sense to me, am I wrong?
SCARY

Patriot201 · Sep 22, 2007

On my soapbox:
Carseats belong in the car and are acceptable to use *OCCASIONALLY* outside of the car.
I understand certain situations in which they are fine to use outside the car, but those times should be few and far between. Babies should not be spending hours upon hours in their carseats (when outside the car).

Some doctors tell parents to put their babies in their carseats to sleep when babies have reflux or other needs. If that is what is advised, that is fine, in my opinion. Most babies, however, do not need that.

natysr · Sep 22, 2007

I would have loved for my son to have been content in his carseat during grocery shopping trips...heck even just during the car trip itself.

That being said, there is such thing as too much of a "good" thing.

I don't think you are wrong at all.

It is possible though the the baby had never rolled over before. Kids seem to do some things for the first time at very inconvenient times. But that was not very smart of them to put the seat on the table...especially without the child being strapped in.

Patriot201 · Sep 22, 2007

I like your new siggy, Natalie!

littleangelfire · Sep 22, 2007

It could be his first time rolling over, I hadn't though tof that, it still just seemed so alien to put him up high like that and not buckle him. I'm all for sling usage when you need your hands and somewhere to put baby. Although, you can't bowl with a baby in a sling! LOL but there were 2 parents, one could hod, and there was a whole group of 20 or so people who could hold, too, if she was alright with that. But I totatlly agree about getting on that soapboax in particular! I'm so tired of seeing babies in thsoe carriers constantly. Poor things. And it would appear this baby spends a lot of time in his - he has lots of hair, except in a wide strip across the back of his head. Its possible he gets it just from sleeping at night, but I haven't seen it quite that bad in babies who get held rather than sat somewhere.

natysr · Sep 22, 2007

Patriot20171 said:
I like your new siggy, Natalie!

Thanks! I made it myself.

It is nothing fancy, but it was fun.

natysr · Sep 22, 2007

littleangelfire said:
It could be his first time rolling over, I hadn't though tof that, it still just seemed so alien to put him up high like that and not buckle him. I'm all for sling usage when you need your hands and somewhere to put baby. Although, you can't bowl with a baby in a sling! LOL but there were 2 parents, one could hod, and there was a whole group of 20 or so people who could hold, too, if she was alright with that. But I totatlly agree about getting on that soapboax in particular! I'm so tired of seeing babies in thsoe carriers constantly. Poor things. And it would appear this baby spends a lot of time in his - he has lots of hair, except in a wide strip across the back of his head. Its possible he gets it just from sleeping at night, but I haven't seen it quite that bad in babies who get held rather than sat somewhere.

I bit off-topic, but I USED to think using a sling was hippie-ish. Now, in hindsight, I realize that my son would have loved it. Basically stayed swaddled constantly the first few months and having to reswaddle him in the middle of the grocery store, mall, out at events, was a PITA.

keri1292 · Sep 22, 2007

My babies had a teensy bald/thinning spot but I NEVER put them down. My family liked to make fun of me. I often held a sleeping infant thru a two hour movie, just because. Because they feel good, they smell good, they make sweet gurgly noises!

It's really sad that they can't be inconvenienced by holding this baby that should be the most joyous part of their life.

I hope he's OK.

keri1292 · Sep 22, 2007

Patriot20171 said:
I like your new siggy, Natalie!

Me too! I'm like ¾ of the way done with mine, but I haven't been inspired to work on it til now. I have the attention span of a two year old.

ThreeBeans · Sep 22, 2007

Poor little one

I can't believe they didn't take him to the hospital after a fall like that. he needs a head CT

I am VERY opposed to 'carseat as baby furniture' phenomenon.

mtnharmony · Sep 22, 2007

Finally there are people who agree with me, that aren't just "slinging" moms, some of who don't like carseats even in the car

But anyway, DH's cousin and sister always has her son in something... a carseat, a stroller, etc. I feel so sorry for kids who are stuck in "seats" all day, or ignored in a playpen. Some do like it, some have acid reflux, but I think too many people have forced their kids into accepting it... I don't know why. Are they dumb, selfish, ignorant about slings?? I just don't get it. I have used a carseat in a resturant, when my son was young.... but he was under 2 months old and I didn't own a good sling. He too loved LOVED being swaddled. In fact, I had to swaddle him in slings when I first started using them. So, I was jealous to see kids content in carseats, because my child has never EVER been one of those, even when asleep. I just don't get it.. I never knew they were only recommend for occassional use, so I guess MANY other parents don't either and they think, hey this is a great multi use item!

Oh, and I am quite sure if you had the right carrier, you could bowl with a child attached to you. Maybe not as well, but given time, maybe! I have even made my bed, which was hard and impossible for some people, but when you really "need" to do something with a child in a sling, you can, and you can do it safely too, if you know how.

cpsaddict · Sep 22, 2007

I agree with not putting your child in a seat all the time. I also agree with using a sling or just holding the baby. However, when I do have my own little ones, they may appear to be sitting in something a lot of the time because I have three herniated disks in my back. I can sit ok, but even that starts to hurt after a bit. I can also sling or use a hip hammock thing, but only for a while. I could never have a child attached to me all day. I would end up walking hunched over. I watch my bff's dd quite a lot and luckily, at 9mths, she is happy to play in a playpen or on the floor. I can hold her for about 15-20 minutes and sling her for about an hour before the pain gets to excruciating. She gets to be in the stroller for a long time when we go shopping. Her mom uses the Bjorn a lot still at almost 10mths.

So, long story short, I know there are people that use the infant seat as a baby sitter, but some may have a legitimate reason for using it more than an average person!

3acorns4Christy · Sep 22, 2007

I cannot believe they didn't take him to the ER!

On a side note the same thing happened to my dh's coworkers baby girl at a resturant, I was sitting next to her holding my then 3month old son who was finally not crying and actually a sweet baby. When her 6month old reached out to mom and flipped the carseat off the chair. I wasn't too shocked because the design of the infant seat makes it rock on a hard surface so thats all it did. But they did rush her to the ER.

Jordynsmama · Sep 22, 2007

natysr said:
I bit off-topic, but I USED to think using a sling was hippie-ish. Now, in hindsight, I realize that my son would have loved it. Basically stayed swaddled constantly the first few months and having to reswaddle him in the middle of the grocery store, mall, out at events, was a PITA.

I was young and a sling NEVER occured to me. But she was never left in the car seat a lot-she was held and took out and laid on the floor and with her boppy. Now if I had her I would have been a baby wearer all the way

I am so mad about that!
anyway on the same topic...at Jordyn's first b-day party my friend had her 3 months old baby in his carseat but he was buckled in.
She had him sitting on the concrete table bench(the kind that are at parks) horizontal with the direction of the bench...well the carseat got knocked and it tipped over onto the concrete and it flipped so he landed on his face. Luckily he was buckled in. He had a huge scrape on his face but he was okay

skipspin · Sep 22, 2007

A stroller (most of them) are a lot different than a car seat. When I have DS in his stroller he can sit upright on his own, sit leaning back, lay down on his tummy or back, etc. So, I'd much rather DS be in his stroller for a long period of time that his car seat. There's still no reason to leave him in there all the time, but a few hours in the stroller at the park is much perferable to me than a few hours strapped in his car seat when not in the car!

I also like to sling DS, but sometimes I just get too hot, or I'm doing things that make it not safe to wear him. For instance, playing baseball. Oh, and my DS will sleep in his sling, but her would much rather be laying on his tummy in his stroller if it's time for his "real" nap.

I agree, though, that some people always have their babies in the car seat, and seem to think their stroller is only for carrying that bucket around!

keri1292 · Sep 22, 2007

cpsaddict said:
I agree with not putting your child in a seat all the time. I also agree with using a sling or just holding the baby. However, when I do have my own little ones, they may appear to be sitting in something a lot of the time because I have three herniated disks in my back. I can sit ok, but even that starts to hurt after a bit. I can also sling or use a hip hammock thing, but only for a while. I could never have a child attached to me all day. I would end up walking hunched over. I watch my bff's dd quite a lot and luckily, at 9mths, she is happy to play in a playpen or on the floor. I can hold her for about 15-20 minutes and sling her for about an hour before the pain gets to excruciating. She gets to be in the stroller for a long time when we go shopping. Her mom uses the Bjorn a lot still at almost 10mths.

So, long story short, I know there are people that use the infant seat as a baby sitter, but some may have a legitimate reason for using it more than an average person!

The cool thing about kids is that they're so adaptable. I have a bad knee and slinging puts me out of balance, so when I'm having issues I can't use the sling as much as I'd like. Two hours and I'm limping.

But, my babies never noticed! We'd lay on the floor on our tummies or backs together, nurse laying down, rock in the rocking chair, as long as we were touching they didn't seem to mind. But, yes, sometimes there is a reason for the car seat, but I don't think it should be used in the stroller unless the baby is sleeping and doesn't settle back down easily. I always transferred my dd to the stroller. I was afraid of the flat-headed look!

elle7715 · Sep 22, 2007

OMG, how can they NOT have taken him to the ER?!? I would be terrified.
DS spend more time than I liked in the infant seat. We never used it at home but on errands he would stay in there if he was asleep. He had colic and if he was asleep, there was no way I was moving him! When we just had DD it was much easier to carry a baby and do errands. Now DS is starting to like being 'worn' again so I use my sling as much as possible.

safeinthecar · Sep 22, 2007

littleangelfire said:
Although, you can't bowl with a baby in a sling!

Yes you can, you just twist the sling until the baby is just behind your arm. This also works great for folding sheets and mopping the floor.

Kimberly

lovinwaves · Sep 22, 2007

OH NO!!

I would have been upset after witnessing something like that.. Poor baby

My kids have had their fair share of "spills". Definitely first time mommy no no's, but hey..I'm not perfect

Defrost · Sep 22, 2007

The problem is more than just babies in buckets not getting held or carried as much; I used a sling when I could, but otherwise I laid my baby on a blanket on the floor. Babies need floor time and being-held time! But parents feel like it's safer to just keep them in the bucket. I've seen babies who were clearly developmentally delayed because they spent so much time in buckets (these were borderline or actual neglect cases). It was so obvious; even when you picked them up the only movements they were able to make were the same ones they could make in their carseats.

Using carriers as baby holders

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