Ignorance is not bliss

TN Mary · Sep 11, 2007

I've come to the conclusion that parents can be categorized in about 3 categories when it comes to car seat safety.

1.) They don't know what they don't know. But they would be open to being educated if given the opportunity.

2.) They don't know what they don't know and give a rat's back end about being educated.

3.) Then there are the parents who study, learn and are either car seat techs and/or advocates for car seat safety.

It truly boggles my mind why so many parents (some of my friends and family included) could care less about the safety of their children on the road. When it comes up around here, I try my best to be patient and make my 'subtle' educational comments.... but it usually falls on deaf ears.

I'm sorry... but whenever I hear ANYTHING in regards to my children's safety, I'm all over it.

Don't get me wrong... my children live very full lives, they're not in a bubble 24/7. But there are certain no-brainer things that as a parents, we're automatically responsible for (i.e. food, shelter, education, health care etc... but up there with all that should be CAR SAFETY).

Car accidents is the leading cause of death for children. What does that mean? Our kids are more likely to die in a car wreck than cancer, being kidnapped, getting struck by lightning, the list goes on and on.

So, there ya go... we can add this to the long list of threads of people bringing this up at least once or twice a month... but really, I don't think it can be brought up enough. Maybe just maybe, someone who was led to this site will stumble across one of these threads and actually scratch their heads and say, hmmm..... maybe I need to do things differently.

I've been through some crap in my life and my motto is: When you know better, you DO better.

Definitely applies to car seat safety too.

Vent over. Thanks.

Feeling better already.

Melizerd · Sep 11, 2007

I hear ya.

I don't know how many moms I've talked to that won't let their kids play 10 feet away in plain sight on the playground because they're scared of their child being abducted but won't use the car seat properly.

Heck I have given up on convincing ERF, just use it right based on the manual and common sense and I'd think that was a victory.

crunchierthanthou · Sep 11, 2007

You forgot the ones who know what is safest and still make a different choice, usually out of convenience.

soygurl · Sep 11, 2007

crunchierthanthou said:
You forgot the ones who know what is safest and still make a different choice, usually out of convenience.

Yeah... I know quite a few of those type... :thumbsdown:

TN Mary · Sep 11, 2007

Forgot to mention the 'run-in' (one of many) I had with my SIL about all this.

There I was in the living room unpacking and re-threading the straps on our brand new Radian for our 3 yr old.

My SIL had to make her comments about how BIG the seat was and how it seemed "uneccessary" and how her pediatrician (who has the FINAL word on EVERYTHING) told her that her boys could be in boosters a long time ago and don't need to ride in anything now. They're 7 & 9.

I made my subtle but firm comments and let her know that kids are safer in 5 pts for as long as possible, yada yada yada. And she looked at me (yet again) like I was a space alien from another planet. It's the same look she gave me when I nursed passed 12 months.

Anyway, I just don't get it. But to keep the peace in the family, I have to smile and agree to disagree.

Oh well... not much else you can do. But sometimes I just want to get out my 'stupid stick' and smack some people up side the head! :hitselfonhead:

Betsyconnersmommy · Sep 11, 2007

TN Mary said:
1.) They don't know what they don't know. But they would be open to being educated if given the opportunity.

.

3.) Then there are the parents who study, learn and are either car seat techs and/or advocates for car seat safety.

(i.e. food, shelter, education, health care etc... but up there with all that should be CAR SAFETY).

:

I fall into both of these catagories At first i was uneducated about carseats but was more than opened to learning (and i am learning more every single day and am thinking of getting certified!)

ANd as far as i'm concerned carseat safety is apart of the Health of my child!

I hear ya though it really cheesed me off when my parents brought my 5 yr old nephew with them for a visit, and not only was the child not in a booster (and he came no where NEAR close to passing the 5 step test, nor is he big enough to go without) But they allowed him to lay the seat back (with the seat belt on, quess they thought that was safe

) so he could see the DVD player!!!! Knowing it would fall on deaf ears, adn cause a fight, i kept my mouth shut. It would have been a waste of breath for me to say anything!
Beth

LuvBug · Sep 11, 2007

crunchierthanthou said:
You forgot the ones who know what is safest and still make a different choice, usually out of convenience.

yup I was going to add this. There are ones that have read the information and still choose to do unsafe practices

daizy · Sep 11, 2007

Have them watch the opera show where a mother held her dead child's head in her arms waiting for the rest of her family to be cut out of and rescued from the Limo...she was doing the same thing. That is when I went from feeling a little over protective to KNOWING I was doing the right thing and not giving a rat's @ss about the people acting like I was being over protective. My favorite part is the people who REFUSE to learn more about carseats are the first to jump ALL over moms for not being CAREFUL enough about stuff that almost NEVER happens. My life philosophy is if you hear it on breaking news it is probably something unlikely to happen that is WHY IT IS NEWS...if you want to KNOW what to worry about as a FF or doctor what they have the most calls on.

What really scares me is when FF and FF WIVES don't care about car-seat safety...THEY KNOW BETTER!

TN Mary · Sep 11, 2007

LuvBug03 said:
yup I was going to add this. There are ones that have read the information and still choose to do unsafe practices

Oh yeah... forgot about that group of folks.

One of my good friends sent out Kyle Miller's video to all of us and I was thrilled I didn't have to take the initiative on that one.

But was anyone on that email list pro-active about that? NO.
All of those moms (and I know every single one of them - all are dears friends) STILL have their 4-6 yr olds in boosters... when they could easily be in Radians, Apex's and Regents.

Mama2J · Sep 11, 2007

I agree! I was also in category 1, that is how I found this site wanting more information.

This thread brings to mind an old post from a blog I used to read. I remember when I read it the first time last year, it didn't bother me, but after reading it again this year, I couldn't help but wonder WHY??

This mom took her child for a 3-year checkup and was disappointed that the ped recommended to continue using a carseat until 4 or 40 lbs. She ended up buying a booster anyway within the next month, and explained how much easier it was to use especially when moving it to other cars, etc. This is someone who is concerned about her child's health and safety in other areas and loves her very much, but wasn't at all concerned about rushing to use the booster, even though she still had a perfectly good carseat that still fit. She rationalized that the weight on the box said 30-100 pounds, and that she was 32 pounds and plenty big enough.

Melizerd · Sep 11, 2007

daizy said:
Have them watch the opera show where a mother held her dead child's head in her arms waiting for the rest of her family to be cut out of and rescued from the Limo...she was doing the same thing. That is when I went from feeling a little over protective to KNOWING I was doing the right thing and not giving a rat's @ss about the people acting like I was being over protective. My favorite part is the people who REFUSE to learn more about carseats are the first to jump ALL over moms for not being CAREFUL enough about stuff that almost NEVER happens. My life philosophy is if you hear it on breaking news it is probably something unlikely to happen that is WHY IT IS NEWS...if you want to KNOW what to worry about as a FF or doctor what they have the most calls on.

What really scares me is when FF and FF WIVES don't care about car-seat safety...THEY KNOW BETTER!

OMG I saw that show..part of it I had to turn it off. It was HORRIBLE and a great show for people that think it's okay to sleep in the car like that.

TN Mary · Sep 11, 2007

donnas said:
She rationalized that the weight on the box said 30-100 pounds, and that she was 32 pounds and plenty big enough.

What people don't understand is that they're letting the GOVERNMENT'S MINIMUM STANDARDS dictate the safety and well-being of their child.

And truly, I don't even know what the LAWS are in our state about all this. All I know is that I'm going to use my seats to their maximum weight and height capacity.

I have a VERY petite 11 yr old who still rides in a booster - NONE of his friends do. But sorry, I'd rather deal with his emotional turmoil about this than him physically not being with us anymore.

And I've got a 6 yr old in a Husky - all her friends are in boosters (or nothing).

And the looks I got with our youngest rear facing till she was 2.5... and the fact that she's almost 4 now and she's STILL in a 5 pt!

The sky is not falling - I promise!

michelle3802 · Sep 12, 2007

TN Mary said:
What people don't understand is that they're letting the GOVERNMENT'S MINIMUM STANDARDS dictate the safety and well-being of their child.

I find that in our "modern" society we tend to do this with a lot of things. I get looks and comments about everything from extended rear facing to extended breastfeeding. When did we as a sociiety decide that the absolute soonest we could move to the next level on something should be the societal norm, or more often the standard expectation?

TN Mary · Sep 12, 2007

michelle3802 said:
I find that in our "modern" society we tend to do this with a lot of things. I get looks and comments about everything from extended rear facing to extended breastfeeding. When did we as a sociiety decide that the absolute soonest we could move to the next level on something should be the societal norm, or more often the standard expectation?

In Sweden, the 'societal norm' is to keep kids RF until their 3-5 yrs old or 55 lbs. As a result, their child-death fatality rates are much lower than our country's. Not sure why we don't follow suit on this... probably b/c a lot of parents would whine and complain.

Think about how the government's 'minimal standards' affected the victims of Katrina.... from the evacuation process to the levees themselves.

Right now I'm looking at a new vehicle. I don't want something that passes bare minimum crash testing.... I want something that EXCEEDS government standards.

Really... when it comes to the safety of our families, I think we should see government guidelines as just a bare minimum standard - NOT as a benchmark.

rebeccah5 · Sep 12, 2007

I'm also one of the know better, do better people. I remember looking forward to moving my 3 y.o. dd into a TurboBooster (because SIL informed me that you could once they were 30 lbs or whatever the minimum weight limit was) so I could forget the hassle of buckling her up. Say what you want about the Kyle video, it did wake me up when I saw it posted on another forum. And once I told DH about it, he wanted to do what's best, too. So in some people's (read "extended family's") opinions, I am probably going "backwards" from a HBB for DD (4.5 y.o.) and FF carseat for DS (16 m.o.) to a harnessed seat for DD and turning DS RF again. But I don't really care what they think/say as long as I know I'm doing what's best for my kids.

Just wanted to add: in TN we have a booster seat law until 8 or 9 I think, and I remember when they enacted that law that my SIL was mega p***ed because she had to go buy a booster seat. She has 5 kids. And one of the car seats is as old as her oldest, who is 11. She has bought all her car seats used. Two of the boosters she is currently using (for her 5 y.o. and 7 y.o.) are super old, with the bar across the lap. Now she is "legal" because she has them in the appropriate seats according to law, but are they really in SAFE seats?

TN Mary · Sep 12, 2007

rebeccah5 said:
Just wanted to add: in TN we have a booster seat law until 8 or 9 I think, and I remember when they enacted that law that my SIL was mega p***ed because she had to go buy a booster seat. She has 5 kids. And one of the car seats is as old as her oldest, who is 11. She has bought all her car seats used. Two of the boosters she is currently using (for her 5 y.o. and 7 y.o.) are super old, with the bar across the lap. Now she is "legal" because she has them in the appropriate seats according to law, but are they really in SAFE seats?

I just don't get that. Why why why?
I can understand if you're barely scraping by.... but I've pulled up next to BEAUTIFUL Mercedes and BMW's with CRAPPY falling apart car seats in the back. At least they were in the BACK seats!

rebeccah5 · Sep 12, 2007

TN Mary said:
I just don't get that. Why why why?
I can understand if you're barely scraping by.... but I've pulled up next to BEAUTIFUL Mercedes and BMW's with CRAPPY falling apart car seats in the back. At least they were in the BACK seats!

SIL is just that way. She has also told me repeatedly that she can't afford her son's allergy medicine (which he really needs, he has already lost a significant amount of hearing because of the constant ear infections that result from his untreated allergy symptoms...) and that she can't afford to take them to the doctor when they need it, but in the past 5 years they have bought two new minivans, and two new cars. They are probably scraping by because I know their general income level (they qualify for free lunches), but, for example, she has recently gotten a gym membership. I just don't get it.

TN Mary · Sep 12, 2007

Rebeccah... that's just a case of someone having their priorities out of whack. But to each their own.

I skimp on all kinds of things - clothes, makeup, hair products, etc. But I don't cut corners when it comes to our car seats. And we're about to put some money in a safer van. WOO HOO! I'm excited about that one.

I will say this though... in all fairness, we like to vacation in a certain area, and do splurge a little on that. It's more expensive than driving 8-10 hrs to the coast but cheaper than Disney!

3acorns4Christy · Sep 12, 2007

I am fed up with the moms that know better but don't do it type, most of my son's playgroup moms fall into that cat. I get snickers and odd looks when I put him RF. But because of all the negative attention I get from that cat of moms a few other of cat. 1 moms have turned their kids back around.

Jordynsmama · Sep 12, 2007

Its like the mom of the kid I nanny for. She makes sure the kids go to a 10,000 a yr private high school, that the 9.5 yr old doesnt walk home(one block from the school with friends) that he doesnt stay home by himself, that he does this and that, but then since I worked there and he was just turning 7 the day I started, he has not been in anything in her car. And he is only 47lbs now. He must have barely been 40 then. And he is only 47" now, I think 44" then.
She even commented on the bb I got for him recently and I said yeah, he should be in a booster till he is 60lbs at least and 4'9. She just doesnt think its important . And the dad lets them ride with no seatbelts and stuff. But everything else is so important.

Ignorance is not bliss

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