How would you handle this?

mrosehughes

New member
I am out of town, and yesterday my sister watched DS (3.5, 40 lbs, and 42") bc DH had to work. At one point during the day, she wanted to take them to the park (2min drive), but DH did not leave her a harnessed seat for DS. She texted me to ask if she could put him in a high back (I think it's a turbo, but might be an evenflo HBB). I responded with a few questions (wanted to know if my mom would also be in the car -- she was, and which park exactly to gauge distance), but she had already gone.

So, I am trying to decide what to do/say to my sister. DS technically meets the minimums of the seat (I think -- need to check on the age requirement), but that is only because he is a very big 3.5 YO. Since my mom was in the car, she could keep him sitting properly, but I don't know for sure that she did. This also might mean that my 7YO nephew might have been sitting without a booster (not ok).

I am fairly sure if I say 'not safe, don't do it again' my sister will respect that, but I could alternatively check the fit and make sure her DS is in a HBB (her younger son is RFing and her car is small, so just getting a sure ride to have on hand might not help bc it might not fit 3-across). WWYD?
 
ADS

Brianna

New member
For a 2 minute drive to the playground I would ask them to walk instead and ask that they don't drive if not necessary. Is your sister watching him just temporary?
 

Baylor

New member
I think it is up to you. I think that if you believe that it is okay for a 2 min ride, know the route, know that He is sitting right and that she is securing him properly? I don't know that I would have an issue with it.

But you know all the factors. I would just tell sister you were not comfortable with it yet and then go over it with her and see how you feel?

Life is not always perfect and we don't always have the perfect options.
 

mrosehughes

New member
For a 2 minute drive to the playground I would ask them to walk instead and ask that they don't drive if not necessary. Is your sister watching him just temporary?

She was watching him just yesterday; normally I am with him or he is at school when DH works. It's not likely something that will come up often, but it will possibly come up again.

The issue for me is, having an extra LBB for her DS so my DS uses her high back is so easy, and he technically fits, but I'm nervous that if its ok with me for a 2 minute drive then next time it'll be further, etc. I think the reason why she assumed it would be fine is we did this once before for 1000 feet at my house (with me in the front). But every time he does it he'll be older, etc, too. So, I am not sure how I feel.
 

BarbieWD

New member
I think I would be upset, if it was my sister, that she asked but then didn't wait for an answer..... And I personally am not ok with it. I want my children to ride in the vehicles the same way every time (consistency) so if that's not possible they don't go in that vehicle. I find, especially with my family, it tends to be a very slippery slope.... 2min drive one day, 5min drive the next, 10min, and so on... add in the factor of family (and friends) not totally being on board with best car seat practices I myself would be a firm no. (Then add in that really a 2 min drive is very walkable IMO...lol)
 

hedgefun

New member
I think I would ask her to not use a booster with DS, but at the same time I'd also make sure she had a harnessed seat to use while shes watching him. The reason I don't think I'd feel fine okay'ing it is because, as PP said, maybe next time it will be a longer distance than the park ... And she might think its okay because you we're fine with him being in a booster for the park ride.
 

Brigala

CPST Instructor
I would thank her for asking but then request that she wait for a response next time because your answer would have been "no, can you maybe walk?"

Also, make it clear to your DH that an appropriate seat needs to be left. I made the mistake of leaving my daughter at my mom's house with my DH for two hours (so I could go do a seat check, ironically) and while I was gone my daughter got into my mom's heart medicine. My mom drove to the ER while my husband had my daughter on his lap. In the front seat. (facepalm). Obviously that's never going to happen again, and we went over "emergency protocol" just in case (back seat, seat belt, not on lap, ride in back with her so you can make sure she stays seated) but I've learned my lesson and I'm never leaving her without a car seat again. Not even for a short time.
 

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