talking to nobody

mybabybean · Mar 12, 2013

Apparently I am wasting my breath!
I am forever posting something on Facebook about car seat safety, installation tips, how to use, car seat no nos, how to tell if they expire, etc.
Well, tonight I was visiting a friend(an avid facebooker) who's daughter is a little over 10months and weighs about 18lbs, and she said oh I have to buy her a new seat she is getting too big. To which of course I said oh, is her head less than an inch from the top? She looked at me like I lost it and said well her feet are hanging over the edge. I quickly assured her feet have nothing to do with it and that most seats I know of follow the one inch rule. She seemed to have no clue what I was talking about. Also, I said hey I have a Scenera, which I described as a pink convertible, DD just outgrew you can have that has about 2 years left before it expires so that should get you to about 3 years old rear facing. Then she says, they expire?

Ok, seriously I just put up something on facebook a week ago about expiration dates and how to tell if your seat is expired!

As if that wasn't enough, she later mentions her niece will be 8 soon and out of her booster seat. At that point I flat out told her why I disagree with that, why it's unsafe, and what the 5 step test was and that it doesn't have anything to do with being 8 years old regardless of what the "law" says! I also tried to explain to her why my almost 5yo is still harnessed and why the 7yo will stay boostered way past 8yrs because until she 5 steps she will ride in one!
So, I have come to the conclusion that nobody reads anything I post or that they just don't care. I am talking to nobody I guess

I already told her I plan to send her the info on ERF and how to tell if a RF seat is outgrown.

Brigala · Mar 12, 2013

She may not have seen your posts on Facebook. Facebook is weird that way.

The more you interact with her on Facebook (messaging, writing on each others walls, etc) the more likely it is that she'll see your updates and things. But it's no guarantee.

I have been told by FB friends that they have "fixed" things they were doing with their seats because of things I've posted that they've seen. Another friend told me she knew she could count on me to tell her if she was using her car seat wrong because she was sure if I saw a picture with improper use I'd tell her. LOL. (And I have never actually corrected her car seat use on FB, nor have I corrected anybody else publicly).

I don't think you're talking to thin air.

Someone, somewhere, is seeing those posts and learning from them.

Mamasboys · Mar 12, 2013

Brigala said:
She may not have seen your posts on Facebook. Facebook is weird that way.

The more you interact with her on Facebook (messaging, writing on each others walls, etc) the more likely it is that she'll see your updates and things. But it's no guarantee.

I have been told by FB friends that they have "fixed" things they were doing with their seats because of things I've posted that they've seen. Another friend told me she knew she could count on me to tell her if she was using her car seat wrong because she was sure if I saw a picture with improper use I'd tell her. LOL. (And I have never actually corrected her car seat use on FB, nor have I corrected anybody else publicly).

I don't think you're talking to thin air. Someone, somewhere, is seeing those posts and learning from them.

Could be this. I've been hating FB lately for very similar reasons. Umm, FB does not put my OWN DH on my news feed and vice versa. I'd say she probably never saw the posts. I swear, I think FB *tries* to instigate ill-feelings and discontent among friends sometimes, kwim?

Lenae · Mar 12, 2013

I agree with Brigala. Someone is seeing. I have three friends I know for sure that my Facebook posts have helped, even though they don't necessarily respond on Facebook. It may not have helped one friend you know of, but it may have helped some you don't know of.

happiness-and-balance · Mar 12, 2013

Although it sounds beyond frustrating, I think you should rest easy knowing that you've put the information out there, and as mentioned above, someone somewhere is seeing it and learning from it

Your friend is lucky to have you to share this info with her.

firemomof3 · Mar 13, 2013

I know what you mean. I posted a picture of my dd2 in a booster seat wearing her jacket on backwards to show parents how a child can wear a jacket safely in a car seat. Well, my own daycare kiddo shows up everyday in her llbean jacket or puffy down vest. It's SO hard to hold my tongue, its just laziness pure and simple. But this is the same parent who gets her kid D&D every morning before coming to my house even though she knows I do healthy breakfasts! :soapbox:

MommyShannon · Mar 13, 2013

I try to minimize how much carseat stuff I post. People don't go to FB to research carseat usage or be told they are "being a bad parent". Obviously that isn't the intent of these posts, but some people take them that way. I don't want anyone to get so used to all my "annoying, know it all" carseat posts that they ignore them all. I try to just share ones that are very illustrative right away like the carseat lady has put out recently. I will also share accident reports if I think they are beneficial. I don't expect anyone who isn't already into carseat use and thinks they are doing fine to click on a link to get more info, but people will go read news stories then you can add a blurb about being so glad the 3 year old was still rf or a link to proper usage if the article says proper seats weren't used. Maybe I'm just too skeptical.

KaysKidz · Mar 13, 2013

I used to think no one listed to me either. BUT, I discovered that a few people are. My children are no longer the only kids to rear face beyond a year in my area...and I couldn't be happier! They may not RF to 2 or 3, but hey, they aren't ALL flipping them at 12mo. They are starting to become aware of the dangers of expired seats, used seats etc. So something IS getting through. Times are changing. Change is HARD.

D&L's-mommy · Mar 13, 2013

I share cr info on my fb page if it is very simple to understand and to the point. No one ever responds to my posts, but a friend did tell me that the one article I posted about knowing when your rf seat is outgrown helped her realize her baby was too big for her bucket, and even asked me for suggestions on convertible seats. I also posted a video showing rf vs ff in a crash and my bff turned her 20 month old ff the next week anyway. you can't win them all. I like to think that *maybe* something I post will plant a seed, make a parent will think twice about how their restraining their child, and maybe even go looking for more info on the topic to make their own educated decision. Honestly, some people simply don't know best practice, and fb is all about sharing what's important to you (religion, politics, hobbies, whatever), so I can understand why you're frustrated, but I would still continue to share cr related items that you feel are worthy of sharing, you never know what will "click" for someone.

Kac · Mar 13, 2013

Some people DO listen. I'm 21 and a CPST. I have friends who have listened to my advice and used it for nanny children or nieces/nephews.

Trust me, people listen.

There are still people who flat out do not care though.

VoodooChile · Mar 13, 2013

I share stuff occasionally, but I've learned to block 3 specific people from seeing car seat posts. They want to argue about every-freaking-thing, and the entire message gets lost.

mybabybean · Mar 13, 2013

Thanks everybody

Good to here reassuring words. I feel like if I know and don't tell them and something happens then it's my fault for not sharing all the info I can ya know?

Maisie&BodensMommy · Mar 14, 2013

I try to go easy on the carseat stuff on fb. I figure it's like political stuff, religious stuff, people selling body by vi, etc etc-- if you post about it all the time, people just stop reading it--especially carseat stuff b/c many will take it as a judgment on their parenting.

I post something carseat related about 2-3x/year. It has helped a couple people, but no more than probably 4.

I used to be very into educating ppl on carseats, and then I realized that most people are just not interested in RF beyond 2 (and many are not interested in RF beyond 1, but it's becoming more common to RF to 2). It's kind of like someone posting constantly about how organic, whole foods are best, and they don't know why anyone would ever feed their child something that is not organic. Over and over on fb.

For a good laugh, check out Sanctimommy's fb page. I cringe when I read some of that stuff, because it sounds like ME on carseat usage only a couple years ago.

Harmony96 · Mar 14, 2013

I've had both positive and negative encounters when trying to talk to people.

Ages ago, before I knew as much as I do now about car seat stuff, I was eating with an old friend who'd recently had a baby. We were all about to leave a restaurant, having finished our meal, and baby was fastened into her bucket, with the "belly" clip fastened. I noticed, and I blamed the ubiquitous "they" as in, "Did they tell you to make sure the chest clip is high enough?" And she was receptive, as far as I know.

But then a few years later, I found out that another friend's little boy was outgrowing his bucket seat, and the mama had the convertible installed in her car front facing. When I sent her and her DH some messages back and forth about it, they said that it was because it "wouldn't fit" rear facing. I offered some suggestions on how to make it fit (by not reclining it as far as needed for a newborn, or putting it behind the passenger seat when leg room doesn't matter as much as for the driver, etc.) but they weren't going to change it. Her DH ended the conversation asking me to only talk to him about these kind of topics in the future since "they scare J____ (the mom)." *sigh*

Phineasmama · Mar 14, 2013

Yeah I don't post much about car seats anymore because most people just hate you for it

I do occasionally post links to accidents and stuff like that. Especially when there was NO car seat usage.

VoodooChile · Mar 19, 2013

I wanted to update b/c I got a really cool message/question from a friend last night--she had a question about flying with her ds's car seat. I don't remember if she's ever commented on any of my car seat posts, but she's been reading them. She even chose her ds's convertible seat based on a CarSeatBlog article I posted. I never would have known if she hadn't asked me the question about flying.
So even when you think no one is listening, and you've just got people arguing with you, you've also got awesome smart friends who do read your stuff!

mybabybean · Mar 19, 2013

Then there is hope that somebody may be silently reading mine

VoodooChile · Mar 20, 2013

mybabybean said:
Then there is hope that somebody may be silently reading mine

I'd say it's likely.

talking to nobody

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