Vent/Question: Siblings fighting in vehicle

Dorothy

New member
Lately, my kiddos are at each other's throats in the vehicle. It's driving me insane! They just irritate each other inadvertently and purposefully. The 2 yo, who has the impulse control of, well, a 2 yo, is prone to kicking/hitting/throwing things at the 4 yo. I pull over when possible. Otherwise, we discuss it when we get to our destination. The problem is ongoing, though. Help! The 2 yo is rfing in a MR outboard passenger; the 4 yo is ffing in a TF center. I'm not wanting to put the TF outboard driver's side, bc when DH drives he moves the seat back and reclines it excessively. He doesn't fuss about carseat stuff EXCEPT not getting to put his seat back. After four years of trying, I've accepted that's not a habit I'm likely to change. Anyone have any other suggestions?

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safeinthecar

Moderator - CPS Technician
At that age I would just turn the radio way way up. The shock value would sometimes stop the fight, but most importantly, it drowned them out.
 

Dorothy

New member
I have done that before. :whistle: The problem is that the 2 yo can reach the 4 yo's face with his foot. Any ideas about how to protect the 4 yo? We already do no shoes, hard toys, cups, etc.

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mommy2env

Active member
I have done that before. :whistle: The problem is that the 2 yo can reach the 4 yo's face with his foot. Any ideas about how to protect the 4 yo? We already do no shoes, hard toys, cups, etc.

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Slide a cardboard inbetween them?
 

ElfJewel

New member
Will the 4 yo fit RF in any of your seats? We had that problem and my DD asked to turn RF again. Then at least DS couldn't kick her face.
 

canadiangie

New member
Is Dh aware that riding with his seat excessively reclined increases the risk of ramping up the seat to the point where his head surpasses the top of the head restraint causing terrible, terrible whiplash in a rear impact crash?

I would sit Dh up, and move the TF outboard. :)
 

Dorothy

New member
ElfJewel said:
Will the 4 yo fit RF in any of your seats? We had that problem and my DD asked to turn RF again. Then at least DS couldn't kick her face.

I bought a Radian for this purpose earlier in the year, but she is out of it by height now. :-(

canadiangie said:
Is Dh aware that riding with his seat excessively reclined increases the risk of ramping up the seat to the point where his head surpasses the top of the head restraint causing terrible, terrible whiplash in a rear impact crash?

I would sit Dh up, and move the TF outboard. :)

Yes, he has been told numerous times of the risks of his positioning. I've passed along every tidbit I've read here, but he's unmoved. Funny, bc I heard him tell an anti-erfer that "you can't argue with the physics". :scratcheshead: I'll tell him its either recline or listen to the kids shreik at each other. Or, I could tell him to sit up or I'm buying a ProSport. :evilgrin:

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VanIsleMommy

Guest
I would put the true fit outboard and tell DH that, being the adult in this situation, he has to sit in his seat properly and set a good example or he can't drive the car.
 

jjordan

Moderator
The thing that worked best for us was getting a minivan and putting them in separate rows. I don't suppose that is an option for you? :)
 

momtoo3

Well-known member
Can you switch their seats. 4 yr old in the MR because it sits higher and 2 yr old in the TF? It would be harder for the 2 yr old's foot to reach the 4 yr olds face that way.
My boys fight constantly, home, car, store, dr..... Dh has a 2010 Malibu with the three across the back . We are test driving a Suburban next week because I can't deal with it and mine aren't even kicking. Ds3 is reaching over from the middle to pinch ds2 on the driver side. He doesn't pinch ds1, just scratches him and ds1 is old enough to stop him. I tried putting ds1 in the middle but there is no head rest and he is too tall. Then I tried ds2 in the middle because I could see him better and warn him about ds1 but ds1 and ds2 should not ever even be in the same house together, let alone next to each other in a vehicle, hence the Suburban test drive. I feel your pain.
 
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VanIsleMommy

Guest
at one point my 3 year old was pinching and kicking my newborn baby, so I moved their seats as far apart as I could and put a big foam pillow between them strapped in with a seatbelt. not interfering with the seat installs of course... no a pillow has not been crash tested but at that point I had to make a parental decision. baby getting injured daily and distracting the driver (me) trumped the risk of a crash imo.
 

Dorothy

New member
VanIsleMommy said:
I would put the true fit outboard and tell DH that, being the adult in this situation, he has to sit in his seat properly and set a good example or he can't drive the car.

This is an ongoing point of contention with us.

jjordan said:
The thing that worked best for us was getting a minivan and putting them in separate rows. I don't suppose that is an option for you? :)

Working on it, but a bunch of stuff came up AGAIN that cleaned out our new car fund. :-(

momtoo3 said:
Can you switch their seats. 4 yr old in the MR because it sits higher and 2 yr old in the TF? It would be harder for the 2 yr old's foot to reach the 4 yr olds face that way.
My boys fight constantly, home, car, store, dr..... Dh has a 2010 Malibu with the three across the back . We are test driving a Suburban next week because I can't deal with it and mine aren't even kicking. Ds3 is reaching over from the middle to pinch ds2 on the driver side. He doesn't pinch ds1, just scratches him and ds1 is old enough to stop him. I tried putting ds1 in the middle but there is no head rest and he is too tall. Then I tried ds2 in the middle because I could see him better and warn him about ds1 but ds1 and ds2 should not ever even be in the same house together, let alone next to each other in a vehicle, hence the Suburban test drive. I feel your pain.

I've thought about this. At the very least, its nice to know my vehicle is not the only cage-fight-on-wheels.

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Dorothy

New member
VanIsleMommy said:
at one point my 3 year old was pinching and kicking my newborn baby, so I moved their seats as far apart as I could and put a big foam pillow between them strapped in with a seatbelt. not interfering with the seat installs of course... no a pillow has not been crash tested but at that point I had to make a parental decision. baby getting injured daily and distracting the driver (me) trumped the risk of a crash imo.

I have threatened to erect some sort of barrier between them, bc the only thing they dislike more than sharing space is not seeing one another. :rolleyes: Go figure...

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babyherder

Well-known member
Do you still have the radian? If so I would try a 3 across in your backseat with the radian ff behind the driver. Its so low profile that your dh should still be able to recline his seat when your ds isn't in the radian. Then I would put your ds outboard in the radian when your dh isn't with you and center in the true fit when your dh is driving. That way you can at least get some space between them when you're alone with them and driving.
 

Dorothy

New member
babyherder said:
Do you still have the radian? If so I would try a 3 across in your backseat with the radian ff behind the driver. Its so low profile that your dh should still be able to recline his seat when your ds isn't in the radian. Then I would put your ds outboard in the radian when your dh isn't with you and center in the true fit when your dh is driving. That way you can at least get some space between them when you're alone with them and driving.

Another good idea! I didn't want to be moving the TF from outboard to center everytime all four of us went somewhere together. Thanks. :)

bobandjess99 said:
Duct tape the 2 yos foot down?

The thought has crossed my mind. ;-)

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Kat_Momof3

New member
see, if I were your dh (and in my dh's 2-door car whoever is riding in the front can be in that position), I would just suck it up and not have my seat as much to my liking... because a distracted driver is dangerous.

So, I'd likely tell him this is how it has to be for awhile.
 

Dorothy

New member
Kat_Momof3 said:
see, if I were your dh (and in my dh's 2-door car whoever is riding in the front can be in that position), I would just suck it up and not have my seat as much to my liking... because a distracted driver is dangerous.

So, I'd likely tell him this is how it has to be for awhile.

You wanna know something odd? If there were a rfing seat that prevented him from reclining, he'd grumble and then move on. But, as you know, people are sometimes irrational. So, the same principle somehow does not apply when there's not an actual object blocking his recline.

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