Varied FF minimums for primary vs. occasional trips

laurengt

Active member
Some comments in the recent post on personal minimums for FF noted that people have different standards/ minimums for RF in primary vs. occasional use vehicles. I'm curious to know why that is, if any that are of that mindset are willing to share reasons.

I probably drive DS most often but it's pretty close to the same amount that DH does. Occasionally my sisters or parents will drive him too. My thought is that if I'm not comfortable with him driving FF in our cars with us, his parents, then I'm definitely not okay with other people driving him FF. Even if I was driving, I don't think I'd be okay with DS FF for a day or two, here and there. I'm either okay with it or I'm not.

That's just me though. :0)
 
ADS

mimieliza

New member
My reasons...

1 - Air travel. My DS rides FFing in a 40 lb. limit Roundabout when we travel by air (he has outgrown it by height RFing). It is by far the best seat we own for dragging through airports, and is quick and easy to install at our destination. I have traveled with a Radian before, and will never do it again.

2 - Grandparents. My DS rides in my parents' car maybe 1-2x a month. They have a Safety 1st Complete Air to use for him, which is quite simple to install FFing. RFing installations are trickier, and there is more room for error, for the seat to end up being installed incorrectly (for instance, the Complete Air requires a pool noodle STACK to be properly reclined RFing). I would rather have him ride in a properly installed FFing seat than an incorrectly installed RFing seat. It was important to me that not only do his grandparents have a seat to use when they watch him, but that they know how to install the seat correctly. That way, they aren't dependent on DH or I to install the seat in case of an emergency.


I firmly believe that a child over the age of two, in a properly installed, top-tethered, FFing, five-point car seat is very, very safe. I have no problem with my son riding that way. However, since RFing is even safer, and keeping his seats RFing is no problem for me, I keep him RFing in the vehicles he rides in 99% of the time. The few times where FFing works out better don't worry me because as long as his seat is installed correctly, he is still quite safe.
 

ketchupqueen

CPST and ketchup snob
Staff member
Mostly it's space/limit issues. If a kid still fits rf in a seat that installs easily on the plane/in grandma's car/whatever, they stay rf. But I'm not going to uninstall my primary seat every time, and my kids tend to be big. I'm not able to buy super-expensive seats to fit every kid rf in every vehicle, so I do my best and if we make it to three in others' vehicles I'm ok with that, though I am not quite comfortable with it yet in mine.

If they still fit rf in a spare that fits rf in the other vehicle we're in, I won't turn them before 4 just because. But I stress more about spending the money to make sure they are rf to 4 in the vehicle they are in most, since that's the one with the most chances for them to crash in.
 

lanwenyi

New member
:yeahthat:

Our main vehicle can accommodate a much taller, longer-lasting rfing seat than can be used in many other cars/situations. If we have a rfing seat that the child fits and fits the car in which s/he will be riding, the child rides rfing, but I'm not going to buy $300 seats for a car my child rides in 2x/mth because its the only one that would fit, nor would I require someone else to buy a bigger car to fit my current seat.

We travel with an avenue. When DD outgrew the rfing limits, she turned ffing in that seat. I wasn't about to travel with the TFP or the Radians (did that once, never again).

I also feel that, statistically, the child is most likely to be in an accident in the car s/he rides in the most often, so they stay more protected in that car. It also helps for safety and comfort on long road trips.

During the time that the kids rode equally in both DH's car and mine, both cars had "main car" requirements. When they mostly rode in my car, only my car had "main car" requirements. To get "secondary car" requirements, we had to be talking about 2 or fewer trips per week, no long trips (yes, I know you're more likely to be in an accident close to home, but that it also due to the fact that you drive that area MUCH more often; more times driving=more chance of accident in that area), AND the child had to have outgrown the seat in the rfing position.
 

MorgieBear'sMama

New member
I have a few reasons for considering turning at 2 in their dad's car. 1. Their seats only rf to 35lbs 2. it's easier for him 3. I do not want to move two rear facing radians twice a week. 4. He wants them forward facing and instead of him turning them on his own possibly installing incorrectly I agreed to turn them at 2.
 

Brianna

New member
J went FF at 2 1/2 with his mom because he outgrew the MR by height and she wasn't confident she could install another RF seat correctly for him on a daily basis- she doesn't have a car and gets rides from different people on any given day. Then there were a few times when she left the MR (when he still fit RF in it) in grandpa's car b/c she thought she wouldn't need it until the next day but she did end up needing a ride from somebody else that day and he only fit in his spare (tribute) FF.

Sent from my DROID4 using Car-Seat.Org
 
If it where me, I would take it as it came. Whichever feasible option is safER. I know this thread is about particular reasons for ff/rf in different situations than the regular family vehicle but I think there are so many factors that weigh into a decision like this that a generalized statement about riding with parents vs. family and friends is unreasonable. They are personal standards. If you have 5 giraffe-like people riding in a prius and expect to RF a 3 year old in a Radian, it may not be the bet option for you, maybe another seat, yes, but that may not be in the cards for a lot of folks. If money is an issue, you may have to turn your child at 2 1/2. There are so many factors that I think after a certain point it becomes too difficult to generalize, and a case-by-case basis is the only way to go. Up to 2 years, minimum. I treat that as a sort-of "law", then afterwards take it case-by-case. Some families simply cannot do it, which is a sad reality, but I feel as though we are getting nothing out of pushing our personal limits on others. Let them know that if you CAN rf, it is the BEST option. If you cannot, we can offer other suggestions. The information given here is wonderful, but I don't want anyone to feel ashamed of their situation.

This is MY opinion, not everyone's ;) :)
 

oddduck

Active member
Next time I install the scenera in my moms truck, it will be going FFing. It has a 32" RFing limit, I made a parental decision to allow her to RF in it to 1" of shell over the head and she's there now. She's 37-38" tall now and nearly outgrown it FFing as well (about 1/2" until top slot). I'm really hoping that my oldest will pack on a couple lbs (currently 39lbs) so I can get her a HBB and move my taller 2 year old into the maestro.
 

henrietta

Well-known member
I wouldn't turn mine forward facing in someone else's car at 18 mos, but at 2.5 yrs old, I would. My mil has a hard time w/the harnesses, it's even harder for her to lift a big toddler into a rearfacing seat, so they went forward facing when riding w/her earlier than in our cars. And I'm okay w/that, b/c she has a brand new car w/side airbags and extra safety features AND b/c I know she's more likely to strap them in correctly in her car ff'ing. Just the same as now that my youngest is 4 yrs old, he will probably ride in a booster seat in her car. She cannot do the buckles on his combo seats at all, but she is super cautious, always adjusts the booster headrest correctly, routes the belts correctly, etc.
 

Ninetales

New member
My 2.5yo daughter rides FF in other cars because she's over 40lbs and I'm not moving her Radian. I also can't afford a second one for travel or secondary vehicles.
 

jnamommy

New member
My 4yr old dd rides RFing in most of our vehicles. My parents have a Focus that they drive occasionally. In that vehicle, it is easier to have her FFing to give the front passenger more room. I am comfortable with her FFing in this vehicle occasionally - with a much younger child, I would not be..
 

lovemy2kidstw

New member
DS was RF in all the vehicles until he outgrew the seat in the primary vehicle. Now he is FF in all vehicles. We planned to RF until 2 or when he outgrew his seat, whichever came 1st. That is my compromise with DH. DD rides harnessed in 2 of our primary vehicles, but does use a booster sometimes for short trips where she doesn't fall asleep. She sits perfectly. In other peoples vehicles she will use a harness for a long time.
 

Lenae

Active member
My rule isn't a car by car basis, it's a situational basis. We drive on Forest Service roads up into the mountains all the time. At least every weekend in the summer, slightly less often in the winter, but still regularly. DH and I use these trips as family time. We don't turn music on in the car specifically so we can engage our children in the world outside the car (we do get out, but it takes a while to get to our destination). It is much easier to engage DD when I can see her. There is no highway travel, and very few cars (ie, none) and low speeds. I feel comfortable turning DD for these times, because I honestly believe the risks are negligible.
 

bnsnyde

New member
This doesn't exactly answer your question, but with harness vs. booster I'm comfortable having my child in a harness. But if another mom drives him, he goes in his booster because I don't want to trust someone else to install a seat and use it properly. He is 6, too.

As for FF vs. RF, I don't ever have anybody drive my kids when they are young enough to RF (there is just no need). Maybe grandma now and then, but even by then baby #3 outgrown the RF travel seat before age 3.
In my van, I have the Radian so he can RF until 4+.
 

ElfJewel

New member
My kids FF earlier in other cars because we buy cheaper/lighter seats as spares. I don't want to spend $300 on a seat that gets used once a month or less, or get a seat that is hard to install if it will be going in multiple cars. In our 2 main cars the little two are RF an the 6 yo is FF, but with grandma DS is FF, and DD3 is in a booster.
 

Kel

Well-known member
I won't let anyone but DH and I drive our 2yr 4mo. old. So he RF's full time. I don't trust anyone else with carseat's.

I've thought about putting a FFing seat in DH's van so I can take it instead of my big one once in awhile, but can't bring myself to do it. I keep thinking, if his neck can snap in the main van, it can snap in the one I drive a couple times a month. That's only my opinion for myself. I'm thrilled just to see other peoples kids in carseat's at all.

Kelley
 

laurengt

Active member
Kel said:
I won't let anyone but DH and I drive our 2yr 4mo. old. So he RF's full time. I don't trust anyone else with carseat's.
If anyone else drives my DS, either I have installed the seat or I switch cars with them. My family tries but they aren't good at installing seats. They prefer me to do it or just take my car too.

Kel said:
I keep thinking, if his neck can snap in the main van, it can snap in the one I drive a couple times a month.
This is how I feel too.
 

laurengt

Active member
Thanks for all your replies! It was interesting to get insight to what others are doing and thinking on this issue.
 

Little Ps Mama

New member
Because my husband has less room with a rearfacing seat behind him than a forward facing one. He's in the car almost daily. My son is in it maybe two or three times a month and has ridden there forward facing since he turned three.

Sent from my iPhone using Car-Seat.Org
 

tam_shops

New member
Same reasons as everyone else.

I also factor in the speed/roads the person is going on, so my YDS was FF at 2yo in d/c lady's car. She drove 3 blocks on side roads, to/from pre-school, a couple times a month. I didn't like it, but when I tried him in a Scenera ($80 here) vs the Maestro ($99 sale here Canada), I just couldn't justify the fact that since he was on the top harness slots, I'd have to buy him a new seat next year anyway. And, the Scenera had no SIP. Finally, it really didn't fit in her Jetta RF w/ 2 other seats in there.

So, fit for seat, car and driver would be another reason.

And, of course practicality of cost for a seat not used very often.

Finally, driver's record. I won't put him (at 3 1/2yo) FF in my SIL's car (bigger than the Jetta), longer drive (still no highway) b/c she's been in too many crashes that were her fault. :p And, I won't switch cars with her either! LOL

tam
 

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