My family does not understand my concern for my kids safety!

Michelle

New member
Its really annoying me. Ok my husband COMPLETELY understand. He isnt with me though right now, im staying with my family for a few months. Anyways...i went car seat shopping yesterday with my dad and was planning to buy the Regent for my 2 1/2 yr old.

My dad just laughed at me b/c of the size. My dad was saying how big it is...which i totally agree and the woman there was telling him that usually the only people who buy those are parents w/overweight kids. Ive seen a lot of pictures on here of the regent and the kids dont seem to be overweight:rolleyes:

I was telling him that it goes up to 80lbs and he laughed. Hes like what kid is going to want to be in a car seat for so long! Then he starts talking about my nephew who is 8 yrs old. Hes like thats like Nathan still in a car seat!!! I was like...Dad...he shouldve been in a booster this whole time!! He stopped using a seat at like 4 or 5 yrs old. Never used anything after that! I was like...i dont know why he was never in a booster or anything!! Then my dads still just kind of laughing saying, i cant even picture that old of a kid in a booster or seat and i dont know any kid who would stay in one. I tried explaining how safe it is..yada yada yada...everyone thinks im crazy.

I just told him that i really want to keep my girls in a seat as long as possible and i would to keep them in a harness until they are able to use the seat belt by themselves. I told him that I am willing to deal with a kid who might not want to be in their seat if it means it might save their life!! He was telling me that its not COOL for a kid to sit in a seat at an older age like 5? Im like...are you kidding me!?? I dont think its "cool" to NOT help keep my children safe. I have always been scared of driving...especially here in California.Everyone in my family has been in a really bad car crash except me and those same family members are our means of transportation while we are here for how ever many months ill be here.

I just dont understand why its so hard for my parents and other family members to understand why i am so concerned for their safety! Oh and before i knew about car seat safety...i had my 2 yr old in a booster seat which i hate even thinking about. I cant even believe we did that. Anyways my sister is wanting her booster seat for her son who is not even 2!! :eek: I just keep trying to explain things to everyone and they are just weird about it. They make me feel like im wrong or something!!

Sorry i just had to vent a little...
 
ADS

canadianmom2three

Active member
I'm right there with you, around here there is no such thing as the Regent, and in our town I have never even seen a Britax anyting. All my DS's friends ride in boosters, most of them backless, some in nothing at all...in our neighbourhood I am known as the mom who is 'obsessed' with car seats. Even good friends of ours have had the nerve to poke fun at DS in his presence for being in a 'baby seat' but thankfully he is a tough guy, and has great comebacks - "its not a baby seat, its a safe seat" or even better " I don't want to die". Now DD is getting close to being 8, and everyone is all about telling her how when she is 8 she won't need her seat anymore. She and I both know that she will be using it until she doesn't fit in it anymore, or she passes the 5 step test perfectly and at all times. Our 10 yo still uses his backless on long trips. It always seems to be the people who have their kids totally unsafely restrained who make the biggest fuss about how silly I am being with my kids keeping them in seats so long...
All you can do is what you know is right - every time I am driving and I hear the background song from the kyle miller video, I look in the rearveiw mirror and see DS all buckled up in the Radian, and I'm happy with my decision...
 

Suzibeck

Active member
Well, I have 3 kids who all want to be rearfacing! The older two begged us to buy a Husky/Regent and my 11 yo was upset when she found out she was too tall for one. Dh won't let us get the huge seat and it won't work in our vehicles anyway. But, I have three older kids who have no problem with being harnessed, two who wish they still were and one who is no hurry to get out of the harness. Now, we homeschool so there isn't much peer pressure, but on the rare occasion that someone says something they just say "I'm safer this way."
 

Tiffanie

New member
My family too. My mom was insisting my DD should be turned around so she can see me. I said nope, she'll stay this way until she meets the seats' limits :) She means well but she still doesn't understand the whole carseat thing because she stopped using carseats for me and my brother before me reached 1 year. :eek: Miracle she was never in an accident with us. Some people just don't get it.
 

elle7715

Member
Try not to let it bother you. My family and ILs are the same way. My FIL thinks it's perfectly OK to let little 2 year olds ride without a car seat because that's what my SIL does. So when I came along with my rearfacing 2.5 yo and told him they'll be in seats as long as they'll fit in one...well it was a bit of a shock to his system. Act confident and have facts to back it up. They'll probably just think you're crazy but some might come around. My mom knows the facts and keeps asking how I put the car seats in the car. She KNOWS that they're both rear facing. I tell her every time "Both kids are rear facing" and she gives me this bright smile and says "Oh, OK". It's nice that she's not openly criticizing me but she's a bad actor and she's being patronizing and disapproves. (I love my mom, really I do LOL). Even DH thinks I'm a little crazy but I showed him the pictures of older kids in seats in people's signatures and he's getting used to the idea. He still thinks I'm going to embarrass the heck out of our kids though. I asked him why he didn't worry about stuff like car seats and he said "I have you". I guess so.:rolleyes:
 

Jordynsmama

New member
Yeah I mean most of the general public will think buying a 300.00 carseat is weird, let alone a carseat for a 4 or 5 yr old to keep them "harnessed" for as long as possible...people just think it is holier than thou/hoity toity...like I think I am so great b/c what? I CARE too much about my kid. How sad huh?:rolleyes:
My mom understands and my sis and my dd's dad just goes along with what i do/say...but everyone else...nope. My dd's dads fam thinks I am so weird.
Some people either think they are invincible, or they arent going to get an accident, their kid is safe enough(which implies to me they dont care) or they simply dont care.
 

solmama

Active member
I understand. My mom and sis both think I'm wacky for ERF my son and for wanting to keep my daughter harnessed for as long as possible. My sis just thinks car seats are an incredible inconvenience to her (like it's personal) and she'll use them if she HAS to, but otherwise she wouldn't. My parents tend to side with her (my mom is a nurse!) on this...ugh!
 

CRS

Senior Community Member
If he were my dad and being so disrespectful and rude I would quite honestly tell him to shut up, I know what I'm talking about, he has NO idea and if he's going to be a jerk he can just shut up!
 

Ali

New member
My parents are supersupportive of us keeping DD RF to the limits of her seat and in a seat for as long as possible. Of course, I was in a booster until age 10 (I'm 30 now), but as my mom reminded me that was because otherwise I couldn't see out the window and got carsick.:p)

MIL and FIL questioned it awhile back and made comments about DD's poor legs. I sent them a bunch of links and youtube videos explaining RF and why it is safer. They e-mailed back that they are so happy DD will be so safe. Then, last weekend MIL started asking when DD can go FF. I replied - when she's 33lbs.
 

Erika Ruth

New member
Everyone in my family thinks I am a horrible driver. That is what they like to tease me about. So, they all are supportive. But, my mom works in a hospital, and my MIL is a safety/germ nut.


Erika
 

Holly

New member
So far no one in my family has said anything mean about it (but only my mom and mil know about it as far as I know)
If they ever do, I'm going to send them a bunch of links to explain my view, and if they still say something, I'm going to be like "You know what? I'm the parent in my family, so I get to make the rules about my child's safety, and if it bothers you, you dont have to take them in your car, or look at them in mine."

Luckily dh is on my side, even though I know he'd rather have our 2 year old FF, he knows how I feel about it and agrees it is safer and I can turn her when I decide to. He agreed to let me get the radians, but I wont be getting any britax seats because it was hard enough to get the radian.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
These tend to help put it in perspective for people -- with my own family, I choose to talk as little as possible (let them make themselves into fools) & just stick with: do it my way, or never have alone time with my kid ... because if you don't do it my way, I can't trust you & my kid's life is more important than anyone else's ignorant opinions. Period.

crimecrash.gif


CervicalVertebrae--1yr_6yr.jpg

Cervical spine developmental comparison : 2 year old (left) vs. 6 year old (right)

ThoracicVertabrae--1yr_6yr.jpg

Thoracic spine development comparison : 2 year old (left) vs. 6 year old (right)

LumbarVetebrae--1yr_6yr.jpg

Lumbar spine developmental comparison : 2 year old (left) vs. 6 year old (right)

Fig01.jpg

Seatbelt Syndrome on a child under 4'9" in a crash without a booster seat.
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
A hospital -- sadly, the computer I had before crashed & I lost most of my information.... I'm still rebuilding my collection of resources: my website started as a way to know I could access stuff from various locations + now I have esnips just in case I lose my memory stick thingy (there's loads of reliably informative articles about Seat Belt Syndrome in Google, though!)
 

CRS

Senior Community Member
Gosh that is just AWFUL. It really hits home when you see these (albeit absolutely disgustingly graphical) pictures! I think that really kinda is what sinks it in for some people IYKWIM
 

Morganthe

New member
It could be a very interesting visit next month to dh's family. I won't be surprised if we get a lot of questions regarding the Madison 'throne' in the back seat :p I'm even packing the Radian in the trunk so we can take on an additional passenger or MiL can take dh and dd somewhere in her car.

I don't know if dh's smallish 8 year old cousin even uses a booster seat. :eek: I suppose I'll find out quickly.

To the OP -- if you don't mind my asking, why were you looking to buy a Regent for your 2 1/2 year old? That's not really an age that fits or suits the seat unless your child is extremely overtall for her age. What is she currently in?

I hope I'm not seeming rude, but the Regent is a whole lot of car seat for that young of a child. Heck, it swallows my own dd up and she's currently the average height of a 5 year old! :eek::D
 

Victorious4

Senior Community Member
If kiddo is not yet at least 30-35 pounds, then I too would prefer a convertible seat (still RF then wait to consider the Regent or something similar after outgrowing the convertible FF) -- however, Leila did comfortably ride in the Husky starting at 2 years old ... as her spare seat in my mother's car (she had another 1.5-2 years RF in mine). For primary carseat usage, I'd basically only get the Regent if kiddo can no longer use one of the high weight harness convertibles RF: if kiddo no longer fits such RF limits, then the Regent would be a wiser long term buy (likewise, I personally wouldn't buy a convertible for a kid who can't ride RF).
 

sb518

New member
I get the same thing from my family, I've boughten britax seats for my nieces to use when I have them. I'm saving for a regent for my 5yr niece and her own mother things I'm crazy "She's big enough for the normal seatbelt now" :mad:
 
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Michelle

New member
well it made me feel better reading these responses just knowing theres parents i can relate to about it.

But I WAS going to get her the Regent until I realized how big it was. I sat in it and fit and I am 8 mos pregnant. so...yeah. But we were looking at that one basically because we wanted to get a seat that would last her a while. We didnt even have money to get her a new seat so my dad paid half and i sold a few of my things to save money for it. My 1 yr old was in the comfort sport and when i was washing the cover i noticed that it was actually broken. A piece was broken off...anyways so since i was wanting a new seat for my 30 mo old anyways, i figured i can pass her scenera on to my 1 yr old and just buy her a new seat. In a few years we will probably get the Regent for her though. She was just so small for it right now, although she is pretty big for her age (37" tall and 35lbs or so)
 

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