Vent UGH

NikoTroi

New member
I was having a discussion with someone today about why I keep my 7 1/2 & 6 year old in their 5 point harnesses and will until they are 65 pounds, we have a Graco. I was telling her about the dangers of a selt belt possibly crushing her 5 year old 40 pound son in a booster seat if they were in an accident. The discussion got heated and she is a sarcastic way, with a look on her face says, "you're going to keep Nikolas in a 5 point harness even in 3rd grade?" Like he's too old and it would be embarrassing for him and me.

It really pi$$es me off when people act like what I'm doing is ruining my child and I'm crazy. This person knows me very well and if I'm attacked, especially when it comes to my kids, I fight back. I have told her about many occassions where people have questioned my parenting and I have no problems telling them to mind their business. So I reply back to her with, "I care too much about my kids not to keep them safe". She then replies back, are you saying I don't care about my kids? I never said that, and now that I'm past the conversation I can see how that can be implied but don't attack me about my kids.

It just makes me mad when people think I'm doing something bad for my kids by keeping them in the 5 point harness. So I emailed her letting her know that I wasn't questioning how she feels about her kids but I also pointed out that her comment about 3rd grade made me feel like what I was doing was ridiculous. I also attached 2 videos that I have bookmarked on youtube and the dangers of boostering too early. 1 of the videos is about a 5 year old that didn't die, but his spinal cord snapped and now he's paralized. I also told her that I wasn't trying to change her mind, but showing her why we don't care what people think about us, but that's the reason why they are harnessed.

I have learned from this that from here on out my response will be, this is how Brian and I feel our boys will be safest in the car. I will also offer them the links to the videos if they want to see why we chose this option. There is no way you can see these videos and not be touched by them.


So not that is my vent. Thank you for letting me get it out.
 
ADS

T4K

Well-known member
It's great that you are keeping your kids safe. :)

However (there had to be one...), a 5 year old is perfectly fine in a booster provided he sits correctly and he is correctly restrained.

ETA: and many kids outgrow their seat before 65 pounds. Is your son in a Nautilus?
 

thtr4me

New member
I totally get your vent. I have a 6yo who is nowhere near being booster ready. It's hard enough to get him to stay still in his harnessed seat, I cannot imagine the chaos that would ensue if he was in a seatbelt. He is absolutely safer right now in a harnessed seat.

And my mom was in an accident years ago, where all of her abdominal organs were rearranged by the force of the seatbelt. She was in the hospital for over a week and had to have major surgery to put everything back where it was supposed to be. I take proper positioning for seatbelts very seriously.
 

SynEpona

New member
Since there's many of us here with not-much-over-40-lb-5-yo in booster seats ..... A properly fitting booster + seatbelt IS SAFE. It might not be your safest, preferred choice, but it is A safe choice for children who are ready. Some 5yo are ready for boosters, some aren't, some parents are, others aren't.

My 5.5yr son currently fits RFng, FFng, or boostered in the seats we have available. The best option for our family, our vehicles, our child, is for him to be boostered. I'm not worried about the well fitting seat belt crushing him, and I'd take fairly major offense if one my friends suggested I was 'not caring' about him b/c of that choice.

Her comments to you might have been out of line, but maybe she just did the mental math to see how old they could be at 65 lb, and blurted it out. Despite having seats that would harness to 65lb, I can't imagine still having any of my kids harnessed at that weight, if they follow my own growth curve, they'll be 11 or 12 at that point!
 
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NikoTroi

New member
Thirsty4Knowledge they are both in the nautilus. Even though they are 20 months apart, they both weigh 55 pounds. If they outgrow that one, I may search for another seat that has a higher weight limit.

thtr4me Sorry your mom had to go through that. The person I was talking to, her kid is all over the place. I've had them in my car and he couldn't sit still so I can see him not sitting still in a seat belt.

I can only hope that she never has to experience what I told her.


Here's a picture of my boys in their seats. I know the clips are in the wrong place, I can't get them to stop playing with them. I'll tell them to move them to the correct position and they still move them up and down :cool:
7376770346_8aed0e1b6c_m.jpg

 

NikoTroi

New member
Her comments to you might have been out of line, but maybe she just did the mental math to see how old they could be at 65 lb, and blurted it out.

Before she said that, I told her that they'd probably be harnessed for another 1 to 2 years, so she knew how old my oldest would be. And I was ok with the conversation until she made that comment and the way she made it. The tone of her voice and look on her face made it seem like I was crazy for my choice.

I told her it's her choice how she keeps the kids in her car. I just know for us, we don't want to chance it with a seat belt. In my opinion, and again, my opinion, the safest seat for our kids is a 5 point harness. We're not willing to take a chance with the seat belt.
 

skylinphoto

New member
They are cuties! How much more room do they have before their shoulders are over the top slots?

For me, I started boostering my ds at 5 or 5.5..somewhere in there lol. I'm one who's concerned about neck loads being increased in a 5pt harness because the shoulders are held back but the head is not. I know not all agree, but for my kids, as soon as their big and mature enough to sit still..they go into a booster. My dd is in a kiddy seat with an impact shield instead of a harness (she's 4). Its what works for us. :)

I think its awesome that you are passionate about keeping your kids safe, though. Not a lot of parents are. Don't let it get you down when others disagree. Its hard to convince people that they should change their ways...especially when the way your doing it is so foreign to them.
 

NikoTroi

New member
Thank you skylinphoto. They are my life. As you can see from my signature, I went through a lot to have them so my world revolves around them.

They are just a little bit under the top slot and I'm panicking about having to take them out of the harness. I know there are seats that have a higher weight limit but not sure if they would work for height either.

What is an impact shield? Would that be an option for them? I live in Orlando Florida and the locals here are crazy drivers. Add that to the visitors and it is horrible here. I see at least 4 times a day a car run a red light. And I'm not talking just turned or didn't make it through the intersection either. The opposing cars have a green and they'll run it. I never go as soon as it's green for fear of being hit.
 

skylinphoto

New member
NikoTroi said:
Thank you skylinphoto. They are my life. As you can see from my signature, I went through a lot to have them so my world revolves around them.

They are just a little bit under the top slot and I'm panicking about having to take them out of the harness. I know there are seats that have a higher weight limit but not sure if they would work for height either.

What is an impact shield? Would that be an option for them? I live in Orlando Florida and the locals here are crazy drivers. Add that to the visitors and it is horrible here. I see at least 4 times a day a car run a red light. And I'm not talking just turned or didn't make it through the intersection either. The opposing cars have a green and they'll run it. I never go as soon as it's green for fear of being hit.

The only seat with an impact shield in the US is the Kiddy World Plus. The shield is for kids under 40lbs though.

I lived in orlando until recently..and still visit frequently (at least every two months). So, I soooo know what you mean about orlando traffic and drivers.
What about getting them britax frontiers if you'd like to keep em harnessed longer?

ETA: the britax frontier is the tallest harnessed seat (harness height of the graco nautilus is 18.5 in I think..and the britax frontier is like 19.5in or something so would keep em harnessed for approx year longer than the graco)..and turns into the tallest high back booster. It'd be a great option for your kiddos if you want to harness them longer.
 
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NikoTroi

New member
I lived in orlando until recently..and still visit frequently (at least every two months). So, I soooo know what you mean about orlando traffic and drivers.
What about getting them britax frontiers if you'd like to keep em harnessed longer?

ETA: the britax frontier is the tallest harnessed seat (harness height of the graco nautilus is 18.5 in I think..and the britax frontier is like 19.5in or something so would keep em harnessed for approx year longer than the graco)..and turns into the tallest high back booster. It'd be a great option for your kiddos if you want to harness them longer.

I don't think Orlando will ever change. We moved here 4 years ago and that was one of the first things our realtor told us. Next was always assume there is a gator in the water LOL

I'm looking at the Frontier :)
 

skylinphoto

New member
NikoTroi said:
I don't think Orlando will ever change. We moved here 4 years ago and that was one of the first things our realtor told us. Next was always assume there is a gator in the water LOL

I'm looking at the Frontier :)

Yeah, I lived in orlando for a little over 10 years. That's just how it is with the traffic ..and lots of rude people. Lol.
 

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