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  1. #1
    CPS Technician Holly's Avatar
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    So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    I don't know what to do! I turned my dd back to RF about a week or 2 ago and it was all going well, but it's hard to put her back there because she has to be in the middle so we have to climb back there to put her in. She has also started to fuss and cry a lot and she kicks the seat back. It bothers my husband that she fusses so much, and it's harder for him to put her in because he's big and it's hard for him to climb back there. He is the one who gets her out and puts her in most of the time, because we have access to her seat on his side (her sister's seat is on the passenger side).

    So in a way it would be a lot easier to turn her back to forward facing and she'd probably be happier, but I am nervous about that because of safety reasons. It scares me to death to think about her neck or spine being hurt in an accident. we just had her 2 year old check up today and she is only 23 lbs 13 oz and 33.5 inches! She is little!

    I talked to her doctor about it and she sounded very excited that she was rearfacing and said it is safer, but said it would not be bad to have her forward facing either.

    I don't know what to do! It would be a lot easier to get her in and out, and she'd enjoy the ride more, but it does bother me a little bit about the safetly thing. Isn't ERF the best for kids between 1 and 2, but the benefits start to drop at 2 years?
    What would you do?
    We had already planned to turn her back around when winter starts and it's wet and snowy, but maybe I should turn her now instead of waiting?
    What would you do?
    Mom to:
    Hannah 11 Graco Connext, Abby 10 Graco Connext, Josh 7 Recaro Performance Booster, and Zach 2 1/2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80.

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  3. #2
    Car-Seat.org Ambassador Patriot201's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    I'd leave her RF. There is no guarantee that she won't cry and fuss about being FF either. Some kids do that in the car (especially between 15 and 45 months!) because they hate being restrained. Turning her may not help.


    “Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me.” ~Carl Sandburg
    Learning to cope with the unexpected...

  4. #3
    CPS Technician Holly's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Patriot20171 View Post
    I'd leave her RF. There is no guarantee that she won't cry and fuss about being FF either. Some kids do that in the car (especially between 15 and 45 months!) because they hate being restrained. Turning her may not help.
    She always has loved the car though and has never complained before now.
    Mom to:
    Hannah 11 Graco Connext, Abby 10 Graco Connext, Josh 7 Recaro Performance Booster, and Zach 2 1/2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80.

  5. #4
    Senior Community Member SPJ&E's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    For me, there would be no other option, to be honest. Rear-facing is the absolute safest...that offers her the best protection available, whether she likes it or not. She's a little peanut at only 23 lbs...and I know she seems strong and tough, but she's tiny and still very fragile.

    The convenience issue, I completely understand. I have a 2-door Cavalier with 2 big rear-facing Britax Marathons in the back. I have to climb over the RF tethers to sit in between the 2 seats to buckle them both in...then I have to climb back out (which is harder than climbing in, lol). It's a pain in the butt...but I do it because I know it's the best thing for them. Their safety is a million times more important than my convenience.

    The thing is, as parents, we'll always have decisions like this to make. If my 2.5 year old screams and throws himself on the ground because I won't let him play in the road, I'm still not going to let him do it because I know it's dangerous...he doesn't. My job, as his mother, is to make the best/safest decisions for him because he is a child and cannot do that for himself.

    In the end, it is totally your decision...but you're coming here to ask because you don't feel right about turning her. If you're having doubts, that tells me you know what the right thing is. Thing of it this way...would you rather have her rear-facing in a crash and kicking and fussing or have her forward-facing in a crash and never hear her again? Of course that doesn't mean she would definitely be injured in a crash forward-facing, but you know that it's much more likely.

    I hope I didn't offend you...that's just my take on it!
    Mom to P (9), J (almost 8), & E (2.5)

  6. #5
    CPS Technician
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    it's hard to put her back there because she has to be in the middle so we have to climb back there to put her in.
    Is there a particular reason she has to be in the middle? Just wondering if she could be outboard if it would allow her to see out of the window and keep dh from having to crawl in and out.

    Lauren, CPST since '08 and Mommy to:
    B (9) Boostered in a Chicco Kidfit and Clek Oobr
    B (2) RF in a Britax Boulevard CT and Chicco Nextfit

  7. #6
    Senior Community Member 3acorns4Christy's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Because she is so little still I'd without a doubt keep her RF. Maybe give her a cuddly toy?

    Joel - 9y nbb Pia - 6y maestro
    Henry 3y, nautilus

  8. #7
    CPS Technician Holly's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurenc0101 View Post
    Is there a particular reason she has to be in the middle? Just wondering if she could be outboard if it would allow her to see out of the window and keep dh from having to crawl in and out.
    Yeah, it's because she's in a Radian and the seat is too tall to be on the side when rearfacing because we'd have to move up the front seats too much.
    Mom to:
    Hannah 11 Graco Connext, Abby 10 Graco Connext, Josh 7 Recaro Performance Booster, and Zach 2 1/2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80.

  9. #8
    Carseat Crazy chaoticoctopus's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    If I'm not mistaken, the benefits of RF *never* diminish, but the *risks* of FF do lessen slightly as the children grow older and their spines mature.

    If it's possible to keep her RF, and her vocal objections aren't a dangerous distraction, this is obviously the *safest* option. But turning a 2 yr. old FF is not *unsafe*. It's just not safest.

    My 3 yr. old is tiny, too, and could be RF, but I chose to turn her FF in order to utilize the seats/seatbelts in my vehicle in the safest way possible for all of my children. With lap-only belts in the middle seats of both benches, I'm using those spots for my 2 convertibles, which makes it extremely impractical to RF. A RF seat in the center blocks access to the driver's side outboard seat, and we use every seat in the vehicle as a family.

    For me, it boiled down to this-- I had to consider how I would feel if she were FF and I got in an accident today, knowing that she could be RF, and knowing the reasons *why* I chose FF. Would I feel guilty, or would I be okay with it, knowing that it was the best solution for my situation? I chose to upgrade my two eldest childrens' safety, from using the lap-only belts, and somewhat downgrade one child's safety (although at 3 yrs. old, she is well within acceptable limits for FF).

    ChaoticOctopus
    Dd (4y)~Radian: 36#, 41"
    Dd (7y)~PW: 43#, 45"
    9y, 11y, 13y & 15y/o~ seatbelts

  10. #9
    Carseat Crazy Erika Ruth's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    I am wondering if you could put your older Daughter FF behind the driver, and have your younger daughter RF behind the passenger.

    Also, could you use one of those mirror things? (know it isn't as safe, but it might be a good solution to stop the whining in your situation).

    My Daughter likes RF outboard better than in the middle, and it keeps the girls from fighting (My 18 month old would pick on my 3 year old).

    You can ask here about recline, because she doesn't have to have the super deep recline anymore.

    I "get" the fussing part, but for me, separating my kids out, and putting her outboard helped a TON with her fussing (She could see more). As, my daughter was just more mad to be so close to her sister, and it was easier to get her in outboard than in the middle.

    I hope that helps!

    Erika

  11. #10
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    For me, it's not so much her age, but her size that would make me uncomfortable FF her.

    I'd try some other alternatives before FF her at her current size.

    Good luck!
    Amy
    Mommy to Kaylie (12/15/02), Teagan (12/29/05) and Sean (12/8/09)

  12. #11
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    Yeah, it's because she's in a Radian and the seat is too tall to be on the side when rearfacing because we'd have to move up the front seats too much.
    Oh okay. With her being so small, I would definately try to keep her rf. What about switching the girl's seats? Your younger dd may be easier to lift into the center seat.

    Lauren, CPST since '08 and Mommy to:
    B (9) Boostered in a Chicco Kidfit and Clek Oobr
    B (2) RF in a Britax Boulevard CT and Chicco Nextfit

  13. #12
    Carseat Crazy chaoticoctopus's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    One thing I did when I had Dd RF way in the driver's side outboard (no door on that side of the van), was let her climb into her seat herself, then I would go in from the front and buckle her in from behind her head. That won't work in all vehicles obviously, but might in many...

    ChaoticOctopus
    Dd (4y)~Radian: 36#, 41"
    Dd (7y)~PW: 43#, 45"
    9y, 11y, 13y & 15y/o~ seatbelts

  14. #13
    CPS Technician Holly's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurenc0101 View Post
    Oh okay. With her being so small, I would definately try to keep her rf. What about switching the girl's seats? Your younger dd may be easier to lift into the center seat.
    I was just thinking that just now as I was trying to figure out a solution. Either way, the Radian has to stay in the center, so my 2year old would have to be in the scenera (which she should fit in). I wonder if she'd have as much leg room in the scenera, it seems closer to the back of the seat.

    Oh, and the Radian has to stay at a 45 degree angle when RF (right? I thought I heard that) I already have mirrors too, I have the "easy View" mirrors by sunshine kids that were crash tested.
    Mom to:
    Hannah 11 Graco Connext, Abby 10 Graco Connext, Josh 7 Recaro Performance Booster, and Zach 2 1/2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80.

  15. #14
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    Oh, and the Radian has to stay at a 45 degree angle when RF (right? I thought I heard that).
    I have heard that too, but I don't have one, so I can't be sure.

    I hope that you are able to find a solution. It really sounds like you want to keep her rf. I think another poster mentioned a soft toy. We have a couple in the truck for our ds. They stay in the truck, so they are special just for car rides. It may even just take a few more rides for her to become completely comfortable with her new position.

    I wish you the best! Let us know if you find a solution!!

    Lauren, CPST since '08 and Mommy to:
    B (9) Boostered in a Chicco Kidfit and Clek Oobr
    B (2) RF in a Britax Boulevard CT and Chicco Nextfit

  16. #15
    Carseat Crazy
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Just want to say that I understand your frustration and that it is harder to get kids in a RF seat than FF. My own DD is a big 2yr old and still RF at 31 lbs. She'd FF'd for about 9 months before I found this sight and became educated on the importance of RF. It took a lot for me to convince DH to agree to RF. My parents and inlaws frequently comment that her legs must be uncomfortable & squished. She's found that it's hard for me to get her seat buckled if she puts her feet on the back of the seat and stands up....(I call it having a 2 yr old moment)

    When I'm thinking of turning her early for the convenience, I come on here and look at the crash test footage. If, god forbid, something terrible were to happen to her...I'd feel so much worse thinking that it might have been prevented. I personally want to know that I'm keeping my kids as safe as the can possibly be. I realize that just by being in a car seat, she's safer than a lot of kids out there. To me, "good enough" isn't ok when it comes to my kids' safety.

    I hope you don't feel I'm preaching...these are just my personal reasons for continuing RF.

    I agree with the other posters about soft toys and a soft mirror. Maybe that would help keep her occupied.

  17. #16
    CPS Technician An Aurora's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Holly View Post
    Oh, and the Radian has to stay at a 45 degree angle when RF (right? I thought I heard that)
    I didn't interpret it that way. I thought that when using the Radian RF, you must use the RF boot, which in some cars makes it 45*. My car has a steep slope to the seats and actually the Radian is quite upright.
    Anna~ RN and expired CPST (hoping to recert soon!)

  18. #17
    CPS Technician CDNTech's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    Quote Originally Posted by Momto2BabyGirls View Post
    I didn't interpret it that way. I thought that when using the Radian RF, you must use the RF boot, which in some cars makes it 45*. My car has a steep slope to the seats and actually the Radian is quite upright.
    This is correct, because of the need to use the RF boot it is very difficult to get it any more upright in your vehicle than it initially allows... this angle varies greatly.

    My '03 Grand Caravan captain's chair allows me to have the Radian installed at 28 degrees before I tether it. I actually need to tighten the tether in order to get it down to a comfy 30 degrees for my 2 year old.
    Jen, Former CDN CRS Tech
    DS1 /02, Seatbelt in the driver's seat now!
    DS2 /05, Seatbelt

    DS3 /12, Britax Frontier/Parkway SG
    DD1 /15, Rfing Peg PVC

  19. #18
    CPS Technician Holly's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    We talked abut it and decided to keep her RF! I want to try to keep her RF for another year before we turn her. If she continues to fuss, we'll put her in the Scenera by the window and Abby in the center. and if she still fusses, too bad, she'll get used to it.
    I feel like she is a tiny girl and I would feel horrible if we were to get in a wreck and she was hurt or killed if she was FF when she was small enough that she could have been RF. I would never forgive myself.

    Anyway, I'm going out of town so if I dont reply it's cause I'll be gone for a while. thanks for all the help!
    Mom to:
    Hannah 11 Graco Connext, Abby 10 Graco Connext, Josh 7 Recaro Performance Booster, and Zach 2 1/2 Sunshine Kids Radian 80.

  20. #19
    Carseat Crazy chaoticoctopus's Avatar
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    Re: So torn about whether or not to keep dd RF

    I think you'll travel much more at ease knowing she's as safe as you can make her back there.

    Have a safe and fun trip!!

    ChaoticOctopus
    Dd (4y)~Radian: 36#, 41"
    Dd (7y)~PW: 43#, 45"
    9y, 11y, 13y & 15y/o~ seatbelts

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