Question What do you do when...

mlohry · Jun 5, 2012

You are a passenger in someone else's car and passengers don't wear their seat belts. I went geocaching with my good friend and neighbor and her teen and the friend of the teen last night. The teen and the teens friend both didn't wear their seat belts. I live in FL land of the worst car safety laws in the US. The teens are both 13. We were driving fairly slow, but not all the time. Some back country roads where animals are more likely to run out. Not that anything bad ever happens here, more deaths from cars reported in our area than I ever heard of living in MN. My friend and I were buckled in the front seat, but both girls in back were not. It made me very uncomfortable. Thinking of their bodies as projectiles. How dangerous is that and what could I have done? In my car that would no way happen, but in someone else's car I didn't feel comfortable saying anything.

PS. This is also my friend that took her just turned 9 year old out of a booster at 4 and although I have highly encouraged her to buy him a booster there is no way she will. I also showed her how to properly install her day care kids car seat. For 2 years she had driven her around with out tightening the seat belt!!

MommaKellie · Jun 5, 2012

This is a hard one...you can't use, "the law says..." line. Maybe make a little joke out of it towards the teens?

mlohry said:
You are a passenger in someone else's car and passengers don't wear their seat belts. I went geocaching with my good friend and neighbor and her teen and the friend of the teen last night. The teen and the teens friend both didn't wear their seat belts. I live in FL land of the worst car safety laws in the US. The teens are both 13. We were driving fairly slow, but not all the time. Some back country roads where animals are more likely to run out. Not that anything bad ever happens here, more deaths from cars reported in our area than I ever heard of living in MN. My friend and I were buckled in the front seat, but both girls in back were not. It made me very uncomfortable. Thinking of their bodies as projectiles. How dangerous is that and what could I have done? In my car that would no way happen, but in someone else's car I didn't feel comfortable saying anything.

PS. This is also my friend that took her just turned 9 year old out of a booster at 4 and although I have highly encouraged her to buy him a booster there is no way she will. I also showed her how to properly install her day care kids car seat. For 2 years she had driven her around with out tightening the seat belt!!

Kat_Momof3 · Jun 5, 2012

could you refuse to ride with them? I would if I could.

mlohry · Jun 5, 2012

Kat_Momof3 said:
could you refuse to ride with them? I would if I could.

I would have done that has I known it was going to be the case. I have seen her kids in cars before and am pretty sure they buckle. At least use the lap buckle...The girls got in after us, so I had no idea. Next time I would say something, my friend knows how I am about car safety. I'm a little surprised she didn't make them in my presence...

babyherder · Jun 5, 2012

Depends. If my brother is in the car you can buckle or I'll happily destroy you. If not, I'm more flexible and just don't ride with that person again.

Brianna · Jun 5, 2012

Okay, everybody buckle up!
No I'm fine.
Really, please buckle. If we crash I'd really hate for your head to bounce off of mine and kill me.
We're not going to crash.
Could you please buckle up? It would make me feel a lot better.

^ that's what I've said before. It doesn't work all the time, and when it hasn't worked I just don't ride with them again.

Sent from my DROID4 using Car-Seat.Org

Kac · Jun 5, 2012

My car has a seatbelt rule, but in other people's cars, I try my best.

"Everyone buckle up in case we get in an accident."
"I'll be fine, don't worry about me."
"Well you might be but I don't want you to kill me if you go flying- I'm more worried about myself."

That's a tough one.

cso1997 · Jun 5, 2012

I would get out for sure. There is no way I am risking my life because someone else is clueless or selfish. After seeing the YouTube video about human projectiles, I will never ride with unrestrained passengers. I don't care if people think I am difficult or lame. Life is precious.

hedgefun · Jun 5, 2012

Kac said:
My car has a seatbelt rule, but in other people's cars, I try my best.

"Everyone buckle up in case we get in an accident."
"I'll be fine, don't worry about me."
"Well you might be but I don't want you to kill me if you go flying- I'm more worried about myself."

That's a tough one.

That's always my standard answer when people refuse to buckle. Usually they'll also say something like "we're not going far" or "I'm in the back seat." To the first, I say that accidents can happen anywhere. To the second, I say "you can still become a projectile and kill me."

Carrie_R · Jun 5, 2012

mlohry said:
You are a passenger in someone else's car and passengers don't wear their seat belts.

I ask them to wear them, or I get out. I've never had it happen but honestly, letting it go "just once" is the same as letting my kiddo ride without a carseat "just once." If you (not YOU but the hypothetical unbelted person) don't care about yourself, fine, but you become a danger to ME if you don't have your belt on.

My friend and I were buckled in the front seat, but both girls in back were not. It made me very uncomfortable. Thinking of their bodies as projectiles. How dangerous is that and what could I have done?

Quite dangerous. Shanna posted this video a while back and it is an AMAZING visual of a crash with a single unbelted passenger. Be aware that it's a bit much, though, it doesn't pull any punches. I showed it in a class I taught a couple of weeks ago (with forewarning that it was "a bit much") and the nonspoken "holy crap" out of the students told the whole tale. They were all astonished and (like I previously had) thought of someone not buckling up of endangering *themselves,* not anyone around them.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6Qhmdk4VNs"]Rear Passenger Seatbelt - YouTube[/ame]

Did you ask them to buckle up? My general line (although I've only had to use it in my car) is a very short and simple, "Can you buckle your seatbelt, please?" -insert muttered 'oh yeah, I usually do, I just forgot' or whatever- "Sorry, I know a bit too much... I don't mind you making decisions regarding your own body, I just know that if you're not buckled and we have an accident, you become a projectile and a danger to everyone else in the vehicle, and I don't really want you flying into me!" I try to do it lightly, but yeah. I'm a bit of a b when it comes to people putting me in danger, lol.

Keeanh · Jun 6, 2012

Tell them that 200lbs of unrestrained cargo belongs in the trunk? Or suggest that they share the front seat so if there's a crash you'll be safe(ish) in the back while they'll hit their mom, the airbag, or the windshield. Might make them think about it. If I had any choice at all, I wouldn't ride with someone who was unbuckled.

tjham · Jun 6, 2012

I had to ride with an obese uncle who I knew was very lax about wearing a seatbelt. I "graciously' offered him the front seat for the reason that, in an accident, "I" would be safer in the back seat from his flying body. Sure enough, even though I tried to cajol him into putting on his seat belt, he said it hurt his shoulder and wouldn't do it.

In that situation, I had no choice. We were out of town and I had no where else to go if I got out.

Carrie_R · Jun 6, 2012

tjham said:
I had to ride with an obese uncle who I knew was very lax about wearing a seatbelt. I "graciously' offered him the front seat for the reason that, in an accident, "I" would be safer in the back seat from his flying body. Sure enough, even though I tried to cajol him into putting on his seat belt, he said it hurt his shoulder and wouldn't do it.

I have totally told friends (in my own vehicle) who whine or refuse to wear their seatbelt properly that I don't really care HOW they wear it, so long as it's wrapped around their body in a manner that protects me from them flying into me. So the friend who insists on holding the belt off of her shoulder, or tucking it under their arm, well, whatever. I have told them all that I'll gladly explain to them each and every reasoning and suggest things to them (like, 'hey, you might want to pull your headrest up') but that as long as I am protected from them, I won't yell at them. It's my "compromise" lol. Maybe suggesting to him that he secure himself with the lap belt in place but the shoulder belt somewhere other than his shoulder would be an option? It doesn't help him much in the event of the crash, but hopefully (if he's in front of you, not next to you where the shoulder belt would be more important to prevent lateral movement) it would keep him in his own "compartment" and away from you?

(It's really not as rude or witchy as it sounds, plus my friends know my "quirkiness" about vehicle safety and are quite tolerant of it... we were recently discussing a road trip with some old friends and some new friends, and the old friends "warned" the new friends about me, ha ha! They were trying to figure out if our very petite friend could still ride in my Frontier for napping purposes, since I wouldn't let her lay down across the backseat

)

BTW, I observed a class recently where the instructor showed a dashcam video of an (unrestrained) driver falling asleep at the wheel and ending up on the rear sill/headfirst out the rear passenger window. So it's not just rear passengers flying forward.

It's on youtube somewhere, really quite scary.

I think sometimes the people in my vehicle do as I say because they know it's that or listen to the scientific reasoning for it, and they're all super over it.

MomToEliEm · Jun 6, 2012

Carrie_R said:
BTW, I observed a class recently where the instructor showed a dashcam video of an (unrestrained) driver falling asleep at the wheel and ending up on the rear sill/headfirst out the rear passenger window. So it's not just rear passengers flying forward. It's on youtube somewhere, really quite scary.

Was it this one?
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcVSQh5MbTo"]Roll over crash - No seat belt - YouTube[/ame]

hedgefun · Jun 6, 2012

Carrie_R said:
(It's really not as rude or witchy as it sounds, plus my friends know my "quirkiness" about vehicle safety and are quite tolerant of it... we were recently discussing a road trip with some old friends and some new friends, and the old friends "warned" the new friends about me, ha ha! They were trying to figure out if our very petite friend could still ride in my Frontier for napping purposes, since I wouldn't let her lay down across the backseat )

LOL re: Frontier! One of my petite co-workers rode in a monterey on the way to lunch once. I wish I'd snapped a photo.

The other thing is, I don't get why the seatbelt thing is such a big deal to people. What I mean is... I don't understand why some people put up such a fuss like we're asking them if we can pull all their teeth or something.

MomToEliEm · Jun 6, 2012

hedgefun said:
The other thing is, I don't get why the seatbelt thing is such a big deal to people. What I mean is... I don't understand why some people put up such a fuss like we're asking them if we can pull all their teeth or something.

I asked my coworker once and he said that he believes God will decide when it is his time to go. Neither he or his children wear seatbelts. He is a retired police officer too. That argument makes no sense to me.

tam_shops · Jun 6, 2012

I also like the [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi5-iVb1YKA"]pinball [/ame]one.

I was shocked when I saw that first one where the guy in the back seat (un belted) did all the damage, but it never occurred to me that someone from the front seat could do the same to someone in the backseat. Wonder why there was a web cam on him and if that was real...

I'd have gone w/ the back seat thing before, now I guess the only safe choice is do it up or I'm getting out...Though, given all the fancy phones people have these days, you could also pull one of those utube videos up and show it to them....should smarten most people up! I hope!

tam

Syllieann · Jun 6, 2012

I would just be straightforward and say that you're not comfortable sitting in front of an unrestrained projectile. DH's stepdad (around 300#) was in our 3rd row w/ the kids rf in 2nd row and he didn't want to wear his seatbelt...something about being a grown up. I told him that with me and my kids in front of him, he most certainly does need to wear his seatbelt and I'm sure he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he was the projectile that killed a child. He was rather embarrassed at his ignorance and selfishness. It's not rude to insist that someone else respect your safety. It is rude of them to ignore your safety.

Ellie173 · Jun 6, 2012

I am in college so this happens a lot on field trips. If it is an unfamiliar car I usually just comment saying something like "oh the seat belts are on the sides of the seats instead of coming from the wall in this car, it took me a moment to find them. Thought I would let you know in case you didn't see them." On multiple occasions I have asked everyone to please restrain themselves so they don't become a projectile in a crash and hit me. But usually making a comment about finding the seat belt works for me. I also spout off something about Newtons Laws or a dorky physics comment and that usually leads to crash dynamics stuff.

2angels2love · Jun 6, 2012

This exactly is why I do not ride with my MIL, ever. None of them will buckle up and I am just not going to let my kids be sitting ducks if there was ever an accident. She rolls her eyes at my insistence on seat belts/proper car seat usage, and has told me that "it's okay to not buckle" just because they live out in the sticks and mostly drive dirt roads.

She always acts like it hurts her feelings, but she knows better and I've explained enough. I really do love her, but this is the one issue where she refuses to use common sense. God forbid they ever get in an accident. I seriously can't think about it or I start getting worked up.

Question What do you do when...

New member

New member

New member

New member

Well-known member

New member

Ambassador - CPS Technician

Active member

New member

Ambassador - CPS Technician

Well-known member

New member

Ambassador - CPS Technician

Moderator

New member

Moderator

New member

New member

New member

New member

Car-Seat.Org Facebook Group

Sponsors

Forum statistics