Vent How could I tell this mom to turn her baby RF

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jmbullet

New member
Alright, so one of my facebook friends (We know each other but I wouldn't call her a friend) has a baby. Can't remember his exact date of birth, but he's not one year old yet. A few weeks ago, she posted a picture of the baby, in a forward-facing car seat. I enclosed the picture because I am not sure of which model the seat is, I'm guessing a true fit from the headrest? Anyway, I already told her he would be much safer rear facing but she brushed it off saying that she too read that rear facing was safer but that she went to the fire station and that they told her the best install for her seat was forward facing. Here in Quebec I haven't found a tech I could tell her to go to and she believes the firefighters are trained with car seats and that they know best. What should I do ?

EDIT : I just noticed the picture looks like it was taken from the driver's seat while the car was moving... Should I report her or something ?
 
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featherhead

Well-known member
I think it's a Symphony. All you can do is give her the facts, and then let it go. You could maybe send her the link to joel's journey.
 

snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
It's an Evenflo Symphony and it is being used against instructions.

Those seats fit very easily rf'ing so unless her son is over 30lbs there's no reason to not use it rf'ing. What area of Quebec is she in? I might be able to put her in touch with someone...

eta: If he is over 30lbs then he plain doesn't fit the seat and she should be getting a different seat... I wonder if you could get her to call Evenflo and have them tell her it's wrong?
 

snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
One other thing - if she is intent on leaving him ff'ing then she needs to remove the padding under his bum and untwist the straps. There may be other things wrong in there as well but I caught those immediately when I enlarged the picture.
 

jmbullet

New member
It's an Evenflo Symphony and it is being used against instructions.

Those seats fit very easily rf'ing so unless her son is over 30lbs there's no reason to not use it. What area of Quebec is she in? I might be able to put her in touch with someone...

She is in Victoriaville

One other thing - if she is intent on leaving him ff'ing then she needs to remove the padding under his bum and untwist the straps. There may be other things wrong in there as well but I caught those immediately when I enlarged the picture.

Yeah well I told her to read the manual properly, but she said she had done so and that her baby was perfectly safe. I'm not even sure it's legal to have a 8 month old forward facing, aren't most seats asking for 1 year old & over 22 lbs ?
 
V

VanIsleMommy

Guest
you can tell her it's illegal and she can be ticketed and fined. there have been cases where the parents were actually criminally charged, and there was a case where the insurance company refused to pay for the child's care resulting from injuries sustained in the accident (long term care, paralysis...) because the mother put the child in a forward facing seat too early.

and yes she needs to remove the infant padding and untwist the harness at least, looks like the top tether is a strangulation hazard improperly stored too.

completely illegal, you can report her but she's going to know it was you.
 

Peachy

New member
Please don't stop trying to knock some sense into your friend's head. Oh my she is a horrible mother! I can't even imagine endangering your child like that. It doesn't look like the straps are tight in addition to being twisted. She's clearly driving while taking the picture too!!! It's hard to imagine some parents are like this when I'm sitting here obsessing over making sure I get the absolute safest seat for my child and terrified I'm going to make a less than perfect choice.

I'm sure others would disagree but I'd see if you can report her to the police and have them pull her over. I know some people that had to do that with their friends because they drank and drove...with their children in the car!!!
 

Misty-Bug

New member
Please don't stop trying to knock some sense into your friend's head. Oh my she is a horrible mother! I can't even imagine endangering your child like that. It doesn't look like the straps are tight in addition to being twisted. She's clearly driving while taking the picture too!!! It's hard to imagine some parents are like this when I'm sitting here obsessing over making sure I get the absolute safest seat for my child and terrified I'm going to make a less than perfect choice.

I'm sure others would disagree but I'd see if you can report her to the police and have them pull her over. I know some people that had to do that with their friends because they drank and drove...with their children in the car!!!


I don't think calling someone a horrible mother is warranted. Yes, this is wrong and against the law etc. but it does not mean she is horrible. It means she needs to be properly guided. She could easily be taking the pic from the passenger seat.

To the original poster, just try to be gentle and keep guiding her. see if she will go to a tech. The thing is that just because it was done at the fire hall does not mean that they are certified or know what they are necessarily doing. As a tech you can only give advise and pointers. You can tell the rules, like he has to be one AND 22lbs before forward facing. That we recommend the child stay RFing to the limits of the seat, that the AAP recommends at least two. If you come across too abrassive chances are she will not listen.
 

jmbullet

New member
The thing is that I already told her to read the manual and install and use the seat properly but she thinks it's alright even though I told her it's not. I don't really care about her, I mean, she's not my friend, so I'm very tempted to report her since I don't have anything to lose. And I kind of think that she is an horrible mother too, maybe it's mean, but come on, when you have a baby, you must gather information on what's wrong and what's right and she clearly didn't. I don't even have kids yet and I learned all those things by just browsing this forum, so really, she's a sad excuse of a parent.
 
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Baylor

New member
I don't think people are horrible parents because they don't breast feed or dont rf long enough. Some don't know and some that know do not realize the huge difference it can make in a crash.

And I have taken lots of shots of my kids from the passenger seat at that angle while dh is driving. So I'm not sure you can say for sure she is driving while taking picture.

I think you be kind and give all the information without judgmental tone. I find the more I just provide good links or pamphlets rather than just my opinion the better people respond and make changes.

I know it stinks to see little ones not restrained correctly however there is only do much you can do. So even if people don't listen, I still remain calm and nice because you never know if they will later.

auto correct hates me
 

Misty-Bug

New member
ok at the risk of sounding mean......

you are not a mother. you should NEVER judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. The first thing you learn as a tech is that you can only provide the info and the more you push the parent the more likely they will not listen. The parent is the one to decide. You can only give the info. Back off for a while. And I do agree with Techno. If I found out you posted my photo without my permission and were judging me heads would roll...........
 

jmbullet

New member
I blurred the picture so the baby could not be recognized by anyone except those who have seen the original picture, which are not likely to browse this forum since nobody there speaks English... and yes, maybe I am being judgemental but don't you think that parents should research what's right for their kids ? If I were pregnant, I would find every ressource I could to learn about what's right for babies. She didn't do that, if she had, she would use the seat properly. So maybe she was being lazy, I don't care... If anyone is looking for information here, that means they are good parents, because they are learning what's great for their children. She isn't doing that, she even told me herself that it was alright. And when I talked to her about that matter, I was very nice and gentle, but now, given the fact that I've told her all the information, that's completely irresponsible of her to ignore my advice. It's common sense, people. I wasn't judgemental at first. I became judgemental with her reaction.
 

Baylor

New member
Blurred or not, you need to take it down you do not have permission to post it. And not being a parent now , once you are you will find out that no matter how much you think you know there is way more you don't.

I did not come across car seat safety until my middle child was 4.

So while I did what I thought was best and always had my kids restrained I made lots of mistakes.

I think you need to take the picture down and not judge so harshly.

auto correct hates me
 

Misty-Bug

New member
before I had children I always said I would do this or that and was judgemental just like you. Then I had kids and realized the world isn't so damn black and white.
I think you need to become less judgemental and your comment about people not knowing because they do not speak english is not fair either.

I think it is people like you and the actions that you are taking that give us CRST's a bad name and drive people away. Leave it alone. Delete the thread as it is no use.
 

jmbullet

New member
Alright, picture is down, but seriously, I disagree with the not being a parent thing... I have taken care of so many children because I have been a babysitter and I have a ton of friends who have children, also my boyfriend, whom I live with, has an almost three year old daughter. So while you might think I don't know what it's like to take care of a child, I have a pretty good idea of it. Also, I have researched a lot about car seat safety, breast feeding, as well as general safety, health and developmental issues, so I'm pretty surprised when expectant parents don't do that.
 

Baylor

New member
jmbullet said:
Alright, picture is down, but seriously, I disagree with the not being a parent thing... I have taken care of so many children because I have been a babysitter and I have a ton of friends who have children, also my boyfriend, whom I live with, has an almost three year old daughter. So while you might think I don't know what it's like to take care of a child, I have a pretty good idea of it. Also, I have researched a lot about car seat safety, breast feeding, as well as general safety, health and developmental issues, so I'm pretty surprised when expectant parents don't do that.


As for car seat stuff I know it's frustrating but it is what it is sometimes. Being judgmental about it proves nothing. The goal is to be helpful and a source of information not judge and jury.

auto correct hates me
 
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snowbird25ca

Moderator - CPST Instructor
This thread has been closed due to the attacking and defensive nature the posts took in the last few hours. A number of posts have been edited and a few have been removed.

We all come here for the same reason of trying to keep our children safer in vehicles. It is asked that comments regarding other parental decisions be kept off of the public discussion boards in general.

Debate regarding parenting decisions is not encouraged in the forums in general, but especially in the public forums.

I know that in the heat of the moment it can be very easy to speak quickly, but at the end of the day we all need to remember that every person is a human just the same as each of us and that we all have our successes, struggles, trials, errors, and victories. Please try to keep this in mind when posting and remember the old adage "if you can't say something good, don't say anything at all."

Please note that this thread is still being reviewed and there may yet be further changes made to it.
 
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