Seriously?? My own friend?

Last night DH and I were watching that new statistic show. It just happen to be about how your most likely way to die. Of course before we even started watching I bet DH the most likely way would be in a car. Mind you this is my biggest fear, ever since I was little, way before I ever "needed" to buy a carseat.

Sure enough I was right. They said 1 in 88 people will die in an automobile accident :thumbsdown::thumbsdown:

Anywho... it got me in a mood (the show and witnessing a family members very poor restraining of her kids earlier that day) where I felt the need to post something about it on my FB. I rarely ever do as Im VERY to each their own. When people comment on a picture or my kids in seats (or ask for help because they know Im knowlagable on the subject) Ive always felt is the best time and place for me to explain why and what I do what I do. My 6 year old spoke up to the family member while riding with them and pointed out how unsafe they rode in the car. I wasnt even with them and if he had the guts to do that at only 6 I could have it in me to post on FB for the parents that honestly have no clue about car safety. When ds got in my car and told me about it, and that he rode in his booster correctly, I was soooo damn proud of him!!

I posted this:
Odds of dying in a car... 1 in 88!!! Riding/driving in a car is one of the most deadly things we do. Seat belts and carseats do NOT save lives if your not using them CORRECTLY You can be the best driver in the world but that doesn't mean the idiot driving next to you is. On a side note; Rear facing until your child is at least 2 years old is the new recommendation. You think a rear facing carseat is restricting? Imagine how restricting a wheelchair or even worse a coffin is :/
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CLOSE FRIEND- We had ava turned around before she was one.
12 hours ago · Like

MYSELF- ‎
12 hours ago via mobile · Like

CLOSE FRIEND- she cried at the top of her lungs, when we turned her around she was fine
12 hours ago · Like

MYSELF- To each their own. I just couldn't live with myself knowing I could have prevented injuries just by leaving a carseat rear facing longer :/ It's just something that is so easily prevented and really hits home for me. My older 2 were flipped at one year because that's what their dr said you do. But now that I know better I do better It's not just a little bit safer it's 5 times safer.
12 hours ago via mobile · Like · 4

MYSELF- I want my kids to have the best chance if we ever happen to be in another accident. Just like I make sure they wear coats in the cold, eat when their hungry, rest when their sick and brush their teeth before bed. It's just something we do
12 hours ago via mobile · Like · 4

FRIEND #2- my son is still rear facing i didnt like the idea of it cuz its hard to see him that way but since its safer thats the way he stays!! their safety should come way before our own opinions no matter what.
4 hours ago · Unlike · 2

MYSELF- Absolutely I feel like that's our job as parents, to know and do what's best for them regardless of what they or anyone else thinks
Believing or not believing its important doesn't change the statistics or the laws of physics. It's just sad how lightly it's taken when it's such a serious problem. So many adults and kids could be saved if we just took the extra 30 seconds to buckle up properly.
3 hours ago via mobile · Like · 2


UGGHH... I just dont even know why she had to post that. I get it, you dont agree... keep it moving. She doesnt even have kids for crying out loud!! Its her niece shes talking about. I KNOW she is now going to be mad at me and not call and not include me for a few weeks.

Its honestly not that bad but its really getting under my skin. So much so that this morning I felt the need to post a pic of dd from a couple weeks ago rfing, with a whole spew about everyone constantly commenting on her still being rfing. Its my child people. If shes rfing or ffing its MY decision!!!! I dont push my beliefs on anyone one else and I shouldnt have to listen to anyone do it to me

I posted this picture and this comment. It made me feel a ton better knowing so many people "support" my decision and liked the photo.



I can't count how many times people have said "she's not a baby" "she's uncomfortable" "she's too big to sit like that". It's not about being a baby at all. It drives me crazy. Does she look even remotely uncomfortable?!? Have you ACTUALY read your carseat manual? It's not 1985 they are made to rear face alot longer because it's so much safer. K*** is 2 1/2 and 32lbs, still rear facing 90% of the time. What seems uncomfortable to me is when she does ride forward facing and her head flops down when she's sleeping or she constantly kicking my seat because she wants her feet up.
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MYSELF- And I'm not saying its for everyone and every situation, but don't knock it before you try it. Do your research and make YOUR own educated decision.
3 hours ago · Like

Im not perfect and I never claim to be. Im the first person to say Im wrong when I am. But gosh dang it I do try to be the best parent I can. I get so sick of the negativity people bring.

Sounds like my cousin. I posted about MD trying to pass a RF to 2 law, and she got all pissy about it claiming that her kids were too big to RF by 1 (absolutely not true - I saw her oldest when he was 2.5 and he was definitely smaller than my RF 4 year old, her youngest won't be 1 until August and isn't much above average).

can I steal your fb post? I never know how to word things.
And some people will remain stuck in their ways, no matter what we say and they will continue to defend themselves.

She's adorable and looks very happy and comfortable!

Dmcj13 said:

can I steal your fb post? I never know how to word things.
And some people will remain stuck in their ways, no matter what we say and they will continue to defend themselves.

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You sure can

I turned DD and DS at 1 which is what I knew at the time. I still had plenty of battles getting them in their seats when they went through phases. I LOVE that DD2 keeps telling me that her new TFP is her "big girl" seat even though she's RF. I don't know if it's the cup holder or space, but she thinks it's a big kids' seat just like DD and DS. Any time one of us takes the van without her she cries out for "my carseat!" and isn't happy about our taking it with us.

I bet lots of us have at least one FB friend that likes to argue with our car seat posts. I have a few, who are very nice, intelligent people, but car seats aren't their thing, and my car seat posts just seem to push their buttons for some reason. I've recently learned how to make posts NOT visible to certain people, so I may utilize that function in the future, just to eliminate drama on my wall.

Yes. I post pics of my kids in their seats, and have had to de-friend someone b/c they felt the need to continue arguing with me about how uncomfortable she is and how she really needs to be FF.
It was someone who I used to be close to, but over the past 6+ years, haven't spoken to them more than twice a year, and haven't seen in probably 5+ years. I didn't feel bad de-friending at all.

She really is a great gal besides her carseat usage She was the friend always going out of her way to pick dd and I up for the day when we only had one vehicle. But every single time she picked us up there was a comment about how dd would be better off ffing. I always blew it off not wanting to argue with someone that had no clue what so ever. This time I just wasnt letting it go

So I really want to borrow your post and put it on my facebook too... but I am kind of wondering how to rephrase the last part... as I find the "Imagine how restricting a wheelchair" comment would be a little odd for me to put seeing as both my daughter and I are in wheelchairs (not related to an accident).

The odds of dying in a car are 1 in 88?

TyAndCheyMommy said:

So I really want to borrow your post and put it on my facebook too... but I am kind of wondering how to rephrase the last part... as I find the "Imagine how restricting a wheelchair" comment would be a little odd for me to put seeing as both my daughter and I are in wheelchairs (not related to an accident).

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Not really sure how to rephrase that. Im not so hot with words. You could always just leave it out. I was hoping someone on my fb would ask why a child could end up in a wheel chair after being in an accident so I could explain how little a childs spine can stretch before injury.

LISmama810 said:

The odds of dying in a car are 1 in 88?

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Thats what the show claimed. Just a simple search online and I found varying numbers, 1 in 87, 1 in 100, 1 in 120. The show was listing different statistics of your chances of dying ( airplanes and snake bites ect.).

According to the New York Times, more people died of poisoning than in car crashes: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/27/h...of-poisoning-than-in-car-crashes-in-2008.html

One in 88 people dying in a crash (if true) is different than one person's odds of dying in a crash being 1 in 88 though, no?

Like, if I get in the car right now, I don't have a 1 in 88 chance of dying.

Also remember OP that not long ago when we were trying to convince you to re-RF your 2 year old you were that defensive parent. It's a hard pill to swallow when you are told you are doing something *wrong* as a parent.

I realize this could come across as snark but it is not at all intended that way. For some it takes hearing the same thing several times and letting it sink in. And then there are some that you just can't change.

And YIKES to that statistic. 1 in 88?! we all know though that if proper restraint usage (adults and children alike) was in play those chances of being killed in an accident would be lower.

hrice said:

Also remember OP that not long ago when we were trying to convince you to re-RF your 2 year old you were that defensive parent. It's a hard pill to swallow when you are told you are doing something *wrong* as a parent.

I realize this could come across as snark but it is not at all intended that way. For some it takes hearing the same thing several times and letting it sink in. And then there are some that you just can't change.

And YIKES to that statistic. 1 in 88?! we all know though that if proper restraint usage (adults and children alike) was in play those chances of being killed in an accident would be lower.

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Not taken as snark

My fb was for sucky car safety in general from almost everyone I know. I can't even count the posts I read on a weekly basis about my friends/family complaining about getting seat belt tickets.

I also had a right to be defensive, even though it never intended to be, my daughter is over the age and weight I felt comfortable with ffing. Within the guidelines, the weight limits and correctly using each seat she rides in. That post was asking opinions about getting new seats for my other children to accommodate the seat I really liked for her, not about rfing/ffing. I had to state that numerous times which makes one feel like they are being ganged up on. It's my decision how my child sits and I made that decision knowing the facts. All the focus shifted over to why I have her ffing instead of me actually getting the help/opinions I was asking for my other kids.

I posted the picture of dd rfing on fb to hopefully show others that truly have no idea there are actual benefits to doing so past 1 year (or even to 1 year in alot of the cases). I wanted them to see its very much possible with a older toddler.

Dd still rides ffing on occasion and I'm very much okay with that too. Id be okay with her ffing full time at her age and would not be doing anything *wrong* as a parent. We use our safety belts and carseats correctly each and every time. She's 2 1/2 do at this point rfing is an optional plus for us. If she was 7 months or even 20 months ffing would not be a viable "option" for us. My friend was talking about ffing before her niece was even 1 simply because she cried in the car Huge huge difference in my book.

Once someone states their reasoning for their decisions I feel that should be respected. Even if it's not what we would do its not our child or our call.

I just want my friends and family to make educated decisions. A lot of them don't even have the slightest as to why your safety belt goes over your shoulder not behind :/ Maybe an eye opener that they have rules, regulations and guidelines for a reason.

My post was simply saying take in consideration the new recommendations and whatever you do use your safety belts and carseats correctly because too many lives are being lost.

LISmama810 said:

One in 88 people dying in a crash (if true) is different than one person's odds of dying in a crash being 1 in 88 though, no?

Like, if I get in the car right now, I don't have a 1 in 88 chance of dying.

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That's the difference between lifetime risk and per-occurrence risk. Your chance of dying per car trip isn't 1/88, otherwise people would be dropping like flies. When you die, your chances of it being because of a car crash are 1/88 (although, as someone who is properly restrained, your individual odds are probably lower).

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