Weighing risks: kid in front vs. multiple cars or trips

I'm over my initial panic on this one, but I keep thinking about the issue of risk, & how to weigh it.

I found out that my 10-yr-old was being taken in the front seat of her friend's father's car to camp. (I had assumed they'd use their minivan). I was very upset, & initially thought I would have to start driving her myself (a difficult thing for me to do for various reasons). But if I do drive her, then there will be a second car on the road--& thus more risk of someone getting in an accident. On top of this, if I drive her, I must also take my other two kids, who would otherwise be off the road. This issue has come up for me a few times, in which I've insisted that to avoid a young child sitting in the front seat, two cars would have to go to wherever we were headed, or we'd have to take two trips.

I know you can drive yourself crazy with this stuff (believe me, I know! ), but I'm just wondering how far to push. I have already contacted a car-seat tech I met earlier online; she made me feel much better (esp. since the front seat is way back & the seatbelt is being used properly). Still, I feel uneasy....But I just don't know where to draw the line. As I asked my car-seat tech friend, at what point do I just do the best I can with the car that's available? Or should I be absolutely hard-line on this?

To complicate matters, this is my stepdaughter--I've since found out that her own mother often has to put her up front, since she must frequently ferry a group of four in a car where only three fit in back. Again, my impulse is to freak out. But really, by that logic, everyone has to buy a minivan if they are ever to transport groups of kids....I don't have one, & I can't expect her mother to get one either. Meanwhile, my other two kids are getting to be school-age, which will mean that soon I'll be dealing more with their being in friends' cars, or my driving their friends around.

So, maybe I should take my hard line on boosters in the back seat with my younger two (which will be difficult enough, since hardly anyone around here properly restrains their older kids past, say, age 5) & accept that my older one will sometimes be up front?

Sorry to be so wordy! I'd really appreciate any thoughts on this.

Nancy

My thoughts are that whenever possible a 10yr old should absolutely positively be in the back seat. Air bags deploy at up to 300km's per hour - that's a lot of force on a 10yr old's body if they're too close to the airbag or out of position with the seatbelt.

The other thing to consider, is does she pass the 5 step test in the front seat? Front seats are designed for heavier and taller passengers than the back seat, and as such the seatbelts are usually higher and the seats are deeper.

If it were possible, I would rather transport my own child than have her ride in the front seat. If it's an absolute must, then mitigating the risks by having the front seat all the way back and ensuring that she wears her belt properly and sits upright the whole trip is all you can do.

Personally though, I wouldn't be comfortable with it, and would probably make the choice to drive her myself.

snowbird25ca said:

My thoughts are that whenever possible a 10yr old should absolutely positively be in the back seat. Air bags deploy at up to 300km's per hour - that's a lot of force on a 10yr old's body if they're too close to the airbag or out of position with the seatbelt.

The other thing to consider, is does she pass the 5 step test in the front seat? Front seats are designed for heavier and taller passengers than the back seat, and as such the seatbelts are usually higher and the seats are deeper.

If it were possible, I would rather transport my own child than have her ride in the front seat. If it's an absolute must, then mitigating the risks by having the front seat all the way back and ensuring that she wears her belt properly and sits upright the whole trip is all you can do.

Personally though, I wouldn't be comfortable with it, and would probably make the choice to drive her myself.

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DITTO!!!!

I have to ask why isn't their child in the front seat? Why are they choicing your child over their own in the front?

I don't really have any advice for you, just wanted to say that I understand. It was very hard deciding to put my oldest in the front seat of our 5-passenger VW Golf. The best I could do was teach him to lock the seat belt so that he at least wasn't moving around and sticking his face right in front of the airbag, and insist that he ride in the back when we had fewer kids with us, even if meant un-installing a carseat.

jen_nah said:

I have to ask why isn't their child in the front seat? Why are they choicing your child over their own in the front?

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I don't know what I would do in your position, byt I was thinking this all along - if they need to put a kid at higher risk, why would they choose the one they are looking after for someone else? Is she the oldest/tallest/whatever? Or is it just a case of "guests sit in front" or "my kids are too precious to put there"....?

Unfortunately I think that we've said time and time again that we'd put our own children in the safest position over someone else's because their OUR children and we need to protect them most..

Thank you all. Since posting, my unease has increased once again, & I am leaning toward driving her myself when I can--which will not be till later (fortunately, this is only a one-week camp). She is in the front b/c she is the biggest. Which I know is correct, but still, I hate having *my* kid be at greater risk. I'm also surprised the driver even knows this b/c I have found out that this family is very lax with car safety--their own two girls (10 & 8) routinely ride in the back without any restraint whatsoever. Can you imagine?

I'm extra touchy on this b/c this family a) is doing us a favor by doing all this driving (the father is taking time off from work, although he would have done that anyway for his girls & b) it is complicated b/c of the step-parenting situation: this family & her biological mother's family are very close, & if I say something I'm afraid it will cause ripples in all of our relationships. I don't need to complicate things further for my husband. Ugh. I didn't even want her to go to this camp to begin with! I guess I'll just offer to take her without explaining why, & only give the reason if it comes up. Which it probably will. Sigh.

Thanks again. I guess I will be running across situations like this more & more as my kids get older--with cars & in other situations--so I will need to really think about when to hold firm (& possibly risk alienating other parents, b/c wouldn't I be implicitly (or explicitly) criticizing them?) & when to compromise. This is a great forum.

Just to let you know--if anyone is still reading --that I called the father in question, & of course did have to explain my concerns. I was so nervous--I thought he'd be very defensive--but it went fine. I also learned that she was in front only on the way to camp, not home. In the end, I was able only to drive her once myself, but even that made me feel better. Thanks again.

Glad things worked out ok.