I don't know how you all do it.

LuBaby16

New member
I'm not a tech (although I read up on how to become one and I think I'm super interested in it as child safety is near and dear to my heart) but I just don't know how you all do it. All over the place I keep seeing car seats used wrong and it just breaks my heart. I see the most of it on Facebook pictures, like twisted harness straps and harness straps that are so loose they are drooping down. It makes me so upset that every time I see it, I go into another rant to my husband about not being able to pinch it, how dangerous it is because of the proportions of a child's body, etc. He probably thinks I'm nuts. I never say anything to the people about it because I'm pretty sure any advice would be unwelcome....but my goodness. I resolved to posting a link that listed common ways car seats aren't used properly in hopes that these people may read it and switch up some stuff. If I were trained and really, really knew what I was talking about I would have an even worse time of keeping it to myself. I don't know how ya'all do it :)
 
ADS

hedgefun

New member
I'm not a tech either and I have a hard time with this as well. Some of my friends are great about car seat usage, but I've seen some scary stuff on FB and I haven't sent messages to these friends because I'm fairly certain that my advice would be unwelcome.

Sometimes I think I would be more likely to send people messages if I was a tech.
 

Baylor

New member
I'm not a tech yet either. However I do try to balance my outrage and being helpful.

I always give people link to this place and offer to find a seat check for them.

I have realized in some cases you just have to accept that there are parents who don't give a darn.

auto correct hates me
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
This is probably going to come off badly, but the more I do carseat work, the more I realize that I can't change the world. It's an honor to help parents who want to keep their kids safer, but it's not my place to evangelize about carseats (or any other parenting issues I hold dear, which for me personally, include breastfeeding and screen time/media). I don't approach parents with 3yos in backless boosters and I don't approach parents who are buying DVDs for toddlers. I probably do things that horrify other parents (my child buys school lunch regularly, for instance), and I wouldn't want someone to try to "educate" me.
 

LISmama810

Admin - CPS Technician
carseatcoach said:
This is probably going to come off badly, but the more I do carseat work, the more I realize that I can't change the world.

Yep. Plus you get used/to hardened by it after a while. My husband is a fireman and I don't know how he does it, either, but for him it's just normal.

I think most CPS advocates go through a phase of zealotry, then settle into a more even-keeled approach. I think that comes largely from realizing that, as carseatcoach said, you can't save the world, so why bother trying.
 

Ninetales

New member
Yep. I'm happy to help when asked but once I realized that people just didn't care I stopped looking for the most part. Every so often I post info on Facebook hoping people will notice the "most carseats are used incorrectly - is yours one of them?" and seek out a check or contact me.
 

monstah

New member
LISmama810 said:
Yep. Plus you get used/to hardened by it after a while. My husband is a fireman and I don't know how he does it, either, but for him it's just normal.

I think most CPS advocates go through a phase of zealotry, then settle into a more even-keeled approach. I think that comes largely from realizing that, as carseatcoach said, you can't save the world, so why bother trying.

Yup. I was kinda crazy in the beginning, giving out plenty of unwelcome advice but I've settled down a ton and only help when asked now or when something is simple. Like yesterday, I reminded a grandma that the TrueFit needed the headrest on since it is FF and she seemed grateful and forgot it existed. I just jogged her memory. I didn't go any further even though the harness was only on the second slots. :( (She didn't have a kid with her.) Heck, I haven't even posted a CPS related item on FB in, I don't know how long. Maybe I'll do that today. ;)

I gave out way more (unsolicited) advice *before* I became a tech.
 

LuBaby16

New member
With my personality, I'm very surprised and proud of myself for the fact that I haven't given out any unwelcome advice. Still, it makes me so sad for the little faces I see in seats used incorrectly. I couldn't imagine not caring enough to learn the right way for my son. He deserves it :)
 

carseatcoach

Carseat Crankypants
Most parents care about their children. Most parents choose to follow best practices in areas that are important to them, and most parents are also willing to settle for "close enough" in other areas. We're all here because carseats are near and dear to our hearts, but we are pretty diverse otherwise in our parenting -- but we all care about our kids. So do other parents who have other passions. I'd hate to think that people are judging me for not caring enough about my child because their passions aren't mine.
 

HaileysMommy

New member
LISmama810 said:
Yep. Plus you get used/to hardened by it after a while. My husband is a fireman and I don't know how he does it, either, but for him it's just normal.

I think most CPS advocates go through a phase of zealotry, then settle into a more even-keeled approach. I think that comes largely from realizing that, as carseatcoach said, you can't save the world, so why bother trying.

Yep yep. After becoming a tech I actually calmed down some. I feel much more at peace with the fact that I do the best I can. I can only educate. It's up to the parents to follow through. It is still very much frustrating when all you hear is excuse, excuse, excuse. This is mostly online though where "conversations" go on for days.
 

glockchick

New member
This is probably going to come off badly, but the more I do carseat work, the more I realize that I can't change the world. It's an honor to help parents who want to keep their kids safer, but it's not my place to evangelize about carseats (or any other parenting issues I hold dear, which for me personally, include breastfeeding and screen time/media). I don't approach parents with 3yos in backless boosters and I don't approach parents who are buying DVDs for toddlers. I probably do things that horrify other parents (my child buys school lunch regularly, for instance), and I wouldn't want someone to try to "educate" me.

:yeahthatsad:

I talk to my friends about their kids, but I don't push anything. I think it's easier talking to my friends because they know I'm coming from a place of caring about their kids and not the "Hey! You're doing it wrong! I'm a better parent than you" that random people tend to take home when you approach them.
 

NatesMamma

New member
I think most CPS advocates go through a phase of zealotry, then settle into a more even-keeled approach. I think that comes largely from realizing that, as carseatcoach said, you can't save the world, so why bother trying.

Yep, this. And how does that old saying go? Something along the lines of, "No one is as pious as the new convert?" That was totally me when I started becoming very interested in CPS. :eek:

Most parents care about their children. Most parents choose to follow best practices in areas that are important to them, and most parents are also willing to settle for "close enough" in other areas. We're all here because carseats are near and dear to our hearts, but we are pretty diverse otherwise in our parenting -- but we all care about our kids. So do other parents who have other passions. I'd hate to think that people are judging me for not caring enough about my child because their passions aren't mine.

While I agree to a point, I think CPS is much different from other parenting topics in that there is a very clear right and wrong here. (Well, for most ages/stages, anyway. I'll give you that the RF 3 y.o. or harnessed 6 y.o. may be a bit of a grey area.) Most parenting issues are debatable and without a single, clear, "right" option. You might care as strongly about limiting screen time for your kids as I do about bedsharing, but chances are that both our kids are going to turn out just fine in the end. If you make the wrong choice when it comes to how your kids ride in the car, on the other hand, you could end up with a dead kid. Totally different animals, IMO.

That said, yeah, I think you have to realize that you can't change the world and that your advice won't be well received much of the time. I do a lot of biting my tongue these days, although I do try to put the info out there for anyone who is interested. For example, our playgroup is on Meetup.com, so we have a message board just for the group. When the revised AAP guidelines came out last year, I started a message board thread with that info linked, as well as links to the NHTSA and this site. Every once in awhile, I'll bump the thread with a new pic of DS in one of his seats with the caption, "3 years and still happily RF!" or something like that. Not anything too in your face, hopefully.

Alas, most of my friends/fellow playgroup moms haven't followed my lead. There are still lots and lots of FF 1 year olds that I know of, and preschoolers still automatically go into boosters on their 4th birthdays if not sooner. :( But a few of the moms have started to recognize me as the "carseat person" in our group, and I have gotten a few questions about CPS, so that's nice.
 

christineka

New member
Imo, the great thing about being a tech and working seat checks, is that the people who for the most part, want to make their kids safer, come to seat checks and actually listen to you.
 

KaiLing

New member
I give out more information now that I am a tech---to friends. I feel like I can now. But my circles are pretty small.

The other thing I like about being a tech, also, is getting paper information into places that people night pick it up: libraries, to childbirth educators, at baby stores. That's non-confrontational, and it might help. So many people are trying their best and still need that info.

Also, every kid you made safer, you made safer. If that's reminding someone that you can't use LATCH in the center seat, it's still something, even if that kid is a FF 15 month old.
 

LISmama810

Admin - CPS Technician
I should add, since my post and some others have kind of sounded like downers :p that there are also a lot of parents out there who ARE taking an active role in figuring out what's best for their kids.

Every time I do a seat check, every time there's a post from a newbie here, I see people actively seeking out advice to make their kids safer. So I guess I try to glom onto the positive more than the negative?
 

Baylor

New member
LISmama810 said:
I should add, since my post and some others have kind of sounded like downers :p that there are also a lot of parents out there who ARE taking an active role in figuring out what's best for their kids.

Every time I do a seat check, every time there's a post from a newbie here, I see people actively seeking out advice to make their kids safer. So I guess I try to glom onto the positive more than the negative?

I am not a tech I just try to help moms with basic info what I have learned and help them get further information. I think 90% of the people that I've offered help to in a booklet, the website, or telling them how to find a tech are open and willing to learn more.

auto correct hates me
 

LuBaby16

New member
NatesMamma said:
Yep, this. And how does that old saying go? Something along the lines of, "No one is as pious as the new convert?" That was totally me when I started becoming very interested in CPS. :eek:

While I agree to a point, I think CPS is much different from other parenting topics in that there is a very clear right and wrong here. (Well, for most ages/stages, anyway. I'll give you that the RF 3 y.o. or harnessed 6 y.o. may be a bit of a grey area.) Most parenting issues are debatable and without a single, clear, "right" option. You might care as strongly about limiting screen time for your kids as I do about bedsharing, but chances are that both our kids are going to turn out just fine in the end. If you make the wrong choice when it comes to how your kids ride in the car, on the other hand, you could end up with a dead kid. Totally different animals, IMO.

That said, yeah, I think you have to realize that you can't change the world and that your advice won't be well received much of the time. I do a lot of biting my tongue these days, although I do try to put the info out there for anyone who is interested. For example, our playgroup is on Meetup.com, so we have a message board just for the group. When the revised AAP guidelines came out last year, I started a message board thread with that info linked, as well as links to the NHTSA and this site. Every once in awhile, I'll bump the thread with a new pic of DS in one of his seats with the caption, "3 years and still happily RF!" or something like that. Not anything too in your face, hopefully.

Alas, most of my friends/fellow playgroup moms haven't followed my lead. There are still lots and lots of FF 1 year olds that I know of, and preschoolers still automatically go into boosters on their 4th birthdays if not sooner. :( But a few of the moms have started to recognize me as the "carseat person" in our group, and I have gotten a few questions about CPS, so that's nice.

I agree with your statement of it being totally different than other parenting choices. In my personal opinion, the danger involved is right up there with leaving a child unattended in the bath tub. Anything can happen in both situations. The sad thing is though, that we know parents do both of these things and don't think twice about it :(
 

HEVY

New member
I'm not a tech but I know how a carseat is supposed to be installed and used. I thought NJ was bad, but living here is like a trip back to my childhood, 6-7 kids in the car, jumping around, hanging out windows, difference is these kids are usually under 5, we were twice their age.

There was a time I would talk to people about car seat safety, especially if they started the conversation. But now I only comment on my daughter if and when asked. No one has directly asked me and I leave it at that.

I am an intense person and it's difficult to see all the dangers.

However, I will say that I have on occasion seen an older child (2-3) RF or in a booster (6-7). Those few occasions help make up for it.
 

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